Tag Archives: 31 October

House of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Ah, Elvira, how I adore you.  The black beehive hair; the seductive eyes and ruby red lips; the hourglass figure that’s barely contained in a skin tight black dress, split to the heavens.  Not forgetting, of course, the greatest cleavage of all time.  My admiration for you is limitless. elvira1

But surely, you cry, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark is not a horror movie?  Not truly worthy of Hallowe’en Horror Fest status?  Whatever, dude.  This film has enough magic, spells, the odd monster and grand Gothic gorgeousness to be more than worthy.

This is probably the closest the Americans have ever come to traditional British Carry On draft_lens18634398module153875463photo_1317687499elvira09style humour.  Saucy rather than smutty, there are plenty of laughs even after all these years.  Sure, a few of the gags are older than Imhotep, but there’s enough spooky fun to make this a glorious viewing.  Not to mention Elvira’s impressive co-stars, who support her every step of the way in admirable fashion.

And now, some gratuitous pictures of Elvira looking drop dead gorgeous.

8/10

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The Bride of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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The Vampire Lovers (1970) THE-VAMPIRE-LOVERS

It’s Hammer time!  And though it might not be a popular opinion to express, this film is, for me, classic Hammer.  With the dawn of the 1970’s the studio started to put out films that featured more explicit gore and nudity.  In The Vampire Lovers, there are some fairly gruesome decapitations and some totally gratuitous nakedness.  Brilliant.

Based on Sheridan Le Fanu’s novel Carmilla, The Vampire Lovers stars the late, great Ingrid Pitt as Mircalla/Carmilla.  She charms her way into the houses of well-to-do families and seduces their daughters with her vampiric powers.  Peter Cushing – total hero – makes a cameo appearance and we even get to see George (Minder) Cole in a substantial role.  vampirelovers2

The sets are quite lush and the atmosphere is archetypal Hammer Gothic fare.  But the real stars here are the lovely ladies – Ingrid, plus Kate O’Mara and one of my all time favourites, the beautiful Madeline Smith.  Maddy looks wonderful in this film and plays the doe-eyed innocent perfectly.

The Vampire Lovers ticks all the Hammer boxes.  And with a line-up that includes Pitt, Smith and O’Mara, offers possibly the greatest Hammer Glamour cast for a single film of all.

9/10

Alien (1979)

“Alien isn’t a horror film – it’s science fiction!”  Nonsense.  Despite the sci-fi setting, this film is pure horror – and one of the all time greats.  It still has the power to shock all these years later, not to mention some very gruesome scenes.  Gripping and shit-your-shoes off scary.

The design is faultless – both H. R. Giger’s creature and the lived in space ship sets.  The film looks great and the viewer is totally immersed in the world on-screen.  I don’t need to add more, just watch it and be mesmerised.

9/10

Earth vs. Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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The Thing (1982)

I’m not going to preach on about this film, let’s just say it’s pure genius.  John Carpenter’s The Thing is an excellent film – not just an excellent horror (or sci-fi) film, but an excellent film outright.

An isolated team of American scientists in the Antarctic are infiltrated by a shape changing creature from outer space.  As the mystery unfolds, the team have no idea who has been taken over by the thing and who is still human.  The tension mounts as the men’s suspicion of each other increases. title the thing

Great special effects (no CGI here) and believable performances (Kurt Russell as Mac) help, but it’s Carpenter’s ability to squeeze every ounce of unease, mistrust and anxiety out of the cast that makes it work.  A classic.

10/10

Paranormal Activity (2007)

When I first saw this film, the initial twenty minutes or so didn’t impress me.  It was like watching a feature length version of Most Haunted.  Not that there’s anything wrong with Most Haunted (great show), I just don’t want to watch a dramatised version of vaguely strange happenings when I can watch the TV show any time.  Plus, Paranormal Activity was another from the “found footage” genre, and while Blair Witch was OK I wasn’t a huge fan.

Where this film works though, is in tapping into a very primal fear – the fear of what goes on when we’re asleep.  There are some very scary moments where the viewer can’t help but wonder if anything strange occurs when they’re sleeping.  Sure, the hokum is ladled on mercilessly (frightened psychics, demonic possession) but there are genuinely hair-raising sequences that are really creepy.

The film works best when it’s low key, and plays on our fear of what goes bump in the night.  Definitely worth a watch, just don’t expect to be convinced that the “found footage” is real…

8/10 

The Revenge of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

An interesting one, this – not exactly a shocker, but undeniably creepy.  Shadow of the Vampire proposes that the classic silent film Nosfertu (1922) employed an actual vampire to portray it’s evil protaganist, Count Orlock.  Set during the production of the film, Director F. W. Murnau (John Malkovich) decides that only a real undead creature can portray the villain of his story.  As a result, the production is plagued by catastrophe as the vampire’s natural urges threaten to derail the project. shadow-of-the-vampire-poster

Willem Dafoe is almost unrecognisable as Max Shreck, the vampire playing a vampire.  He gives a fantastically eerie performance, superbly impersonating the Orlock of the original movie and also bringing his own air of barely contained menace.  Malkovich shows his skills as the driven perfectionist trying to keep together a production that is teetering on the brink of collapse.

To truly get the most from Shadow of the Vampire, the audience needs to be familiar with the source material.  But then, if you’ve never seen Nosferatu – you should be ashamed of yourself.

8/10

Taste the Blood of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Time for more Hammer for Hallowe’en Horror Fest.  This film sees Christopher Lee star as Dracula in an unusual twist on typical vampire sequels.  

Three well-to-do Victorian gentlemen leave their family homes once a month to carry out some charity work in the less desirable parts of town.  Although it turns out that they’re actually a group of depraved hedonists, hell bent on enjoying whatever illicit thrills they can.  Enter Lord Courtley (Ralph Bates), a society satanist, who encourages the revellers to partake in a gruesome evil ritual.  A ritual that involves relics of the vanquished Count – including his powdered blood.  The three refuse to drink the blood mixture, and resort to killing Courtley.  Once dead, he is regenerated as Dracula, who vows to destroy those who killed his loyal servant. taste-the-blood-of-dracula-1-1024

Taste the Blood of Dracula offers a novel spin on the rejuvenation of Count Dracula.  We also see a different plot in that Dracula engineers a revenge against his servant’s enemies and their families.  It’s a good idea and executed well in the typical Gothic Hammer fashion.  This variation on the normal themes creates a sequel that’s well worth checking out.

7/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest part 2

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The clock strikes, darkness descends and it’s time for more movies from Hallowe’en Horror Fest!

Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (1971) 220px-Bloodmummytomb

This is what we want!  Hammer Horror – with all the trappings.  This gem from 1971, based on a story by Bram Stoker, offers all the trademarks we expect.  The very lovely Valerie Leon plays Margaret, who seems to be a reincarnation of an Ancient Egyptian Queen of evil named Tera.  Her Egyptologist father (Andrew Keir) and his comrades excavated Tera’s tomb many years before, and now are faced with the return of the sorceress and several dastardly, supernatural murders.

The narrative begins very well and is spiced up with some fairly gruesome imagery.  However, the last third of the film seems to drag a little when it should really deliver more thrills.  Never the less, this Hammer movie features dependable performances and impressive sets that make it a movie well worth catching.  A clever concept with some definite moments that make the film stand out from similar fare. tumblr_lx2w6mr6Wk1r18pefo1_500

Of course, the real event here is Valerie Leon, who can be summed up alliteratively with words such as voluptuous and VA VA VOOM!!!

7/10

More Hallowe’en Horror Fest reviews coming very soon…

Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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It’s October!  Which means it’s not long till Hallowe’en.  Which also means that I’ve started my annual Hallowe’en Horror Fest – watching scary movies and listening to horror rock!

The festival of Hallowe’en is a big deal at the Virtual Hot Tub.  Not only will I be decorating the place and having a fancy dress party for all my fiends, I’ll update you on other cultural happenings throughout the month.  Starting now.

A big part of Hallowe’en Horror Fest is the films.  Horror movies old and new, whether they’re real shit-your-shoes off jumpy, or just have some supernatural element to them.  My aim is to watch as many as possible before we get to November.   Here’s the scoop on the first two.

The Raven (2012)

A serial killer is committing terrible murders inspired by the writings of Edgar Allan Poe.  Poe (John Cusack) must turn detective to put an end to the grisly crimes before his betrothed becomes the next victim.

I was intrigued to see this film as I’ve read many of Poe’s stories over the years, and enjoyed them immensely.  Whether you enjoy the movie will depend on if you can accept the fictionalised account including the real Edgar Allan Poe as a protagonist.  For me, this twist was a great idea and worth exploring.

Not truly “Horrific”, but nonetheless creating a suitably dark, brooding atmosphere with a fair dose of gore, I enjoyed the film very much.  Very good, though shock factor is not too high.

7/10

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

A hybrid of Tarantino gangster movie and splatter crazy vampire fest, I wasn’t a big fan of this film the first time I saw it.  The juxtaposition of the two styles jarred.  However the exploding, gloopy vampires – acting more like zombies in their mass attack on the humans – grated on me even more.  They didn’t resemble enough the vampires of folklore I was familiar with.  I actually enjoyed the gritty realism of the first part of the film rather than the horror element.

Repeated viewings have proved me wrong.  The more I see this film, the more I admire the ingenuity, creativity and enthusiasm thrown onto the screen like an exploding blood pack by Director Robert Rodriguez.  Great performances from everyone, including George Clooney, Juliette Lewis, Harvey Keitel and Tarantino himself.  Watching it again now, the disparate elements really serve to create a sense of bewilderment when the vampires show themselves.

Highly recommended, if you’ve not seen this film, get on it now.  And not forgetting Salma Hayek makes one of the sexiest vampires ever as Santanico Pandemonium.

8/10