Monthly Archives: February 2020

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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I can’t remember when I was first aware of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but as a big comic book reader in the 1980s it was kind of inevitable that we’d cross paths.  Cleverly playing with some popular comic tropes, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird created a pop culture phenomenon almost by accident.

I do remember the Ninja Turtles and their creators getting a shout out in the “thank you” list of the “Among the Living” album by thrash metal kings Anthrax.  The book seemed quirky and original, it’s popularity boosted with a reputation for genuinely great writing and art.

Leonardo
Raphael

Next came the cartoon, a couple of years later.  This was the turtles tidied up for a younger audience and it became a massive hit.  I was about 17 at the time (!), but enjoyed watching the cartoon occasionally as a bit of tongue in cheek fun.  I was being ironic, honest.

The toys that were made at the time were very cool; for the era they seemed very well designed and super detailed.  I was far too old for the action figures, but secretly coveted them from afar.

Eventually I picked up the figure of my favourite turtle, Michaelangelo.  He must have been on sale somewhere post turtles craze,’cos this would’ve been in my student days and thus, extremely poor.  He was a perfect ironic, “look how wacky I am” student possession.

Sadly, Mikey disappeared – I know not where – and once again, I was completely turtle-less.

Donatello
Michaelangelo

Until a couple of years ago, when taking my daughter on one of her last trips to Toys R Us, before it closed for good.  They had on sale re-issued turtles, exactly like the old versions I loved, and they were cheap (ish).

I replaced Michaelangelo there and then, and over the next few days was so eager to complete a collection of all four turtles that I returned to buy others.  With a little bit of toy spotting help from my old pal Adam, I was soon in business with a full team of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

At the moment, I only have the full group of Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Raphael.  It would be great to have Splinter, Shredder and more one day, but I doubt they’ll turn up cheap.

The four turtles are great figures, nicely stylised and featuring great detail.  And awesome weapons.

All four are still Mint in Box.  How long can I resist the urge to release the guys from their blister pack prisons?  Surely one night I’ll have had a little bit too much to drink, and decide to tear that plastic from the backing card…

What do you think readers?  Should the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stay in their boxes, or should I open them up?

Firebreather – Under a Blood Moon Album Review

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Firebreather – Under a Blood Moon

RidingEasy Records

Release date: 27/09/2019

Running time: 49 mins

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

 

You’ve got to hand it to the Swedes.  They’re pretty damn good at whatever they turn their hands to.  Cheese with holes in, chocolate, clocks… No wait, that’s the Swiss.  The Swedes are the ones who are awesome at flatpack furniture and – most importantly for us – music.

Firebreather are a trio of doom-mongers from Gothenburg in Sweden.  Comprising Mattias Noojd on vocals and guitar, Kyle Pitcher on bass and drummer Axel Wittbeck, these riff-lords are adept at creating massive, epic songs that are both brutal and beautiful.

The music pounds and pummels, but as in opening track “Dancing Flames”, the churning riff becomes hypnotically entrancing.  “Our Souls They Burn” is unleashed with a super-heavy grind that’s underpinned by a powerful groove.

It’s hard to pick a stand-out or favourite track, though the relentless structure of the songs creates a vast tapestry of music that blends together.  This is savage and also seductive, like the wilderness of their native Scandinavia.  Hence, we get the thunderous beat of title track “Firebreather” and the contrast of the slow rhythmic build and almost melancholic vibe of “The Siren”.

Repeated listens are definitely recommended: familiarity with “Under a Blood Moon” coaxes the songs to open up and reveal more treasures each time.  The listeners’ mind can imagine patterns and shapes cascading, like watching flames burn and dance.  It’s a solid album from Firebreather that only promises to grow and endure.

All this talk about fire-breathing brings back memories of my old mate Ronnie James Dio’s fascination with the Dungeons and Dragons board game.  Back in the early 80’s, when he was fronting Black Sabbath, Ronnie was obsessed with it.  He’d constantly badger the band to play it with him, which they did – begrudgingly.

Tony and Geezer amiably played along to humour their titan-voiced tiny singer.  I recall one time though, when Bill Ward had really had enough of elves and dragons – he threw a huge pitcher of ale over the game.  Ronnie was livid, Tony and Geezer were trying to stifle laughter.  Especially when Bill kicked the table, banged his big toe and fell about screaming in agony, ripping a hole in his wife’s tights.  Bill was always wearing his wife’s tights.  I think they kept him warm.

You can find Firebreather on Facebook and Twitter: @FIREBREATHERGBG.

Check them out on Bandcamp here.

This review originally appeared on the Ever Metal site, which you can visit here.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #14

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And lo, it was time for another Singles Night at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  Join me yet again, as I play through my stack of freshly acquired 7″ vinyl singles – A side then B side – on a musical odyssey that will thrill and amaze.

You may want a few drinks as well.

Here’s the playlist this time:

  1. Elvis Presley – “Love Me Tender” / “Anyway You Want Me (That’s How I Will Be)”
  2. Small Faces – “Lazy Sunday” / “Rollin’ Over”
  3. Boney M – “Painter Man” / “He Was a Steppenwolf”
  4. Beastie Boys – “She’s On It” / “Slow and Low”
  5. Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction – “Backseat Education” / “Whore of Babylon”
  6. Madness – “Baggy Trousers” / “The Business”
  7. The Osmonds – “Crazy Horses” / “That’s My Girl”
  8. Ian Dury & The Blockheads – “Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick” / “There Ain’t Half Been Some Clever Bastards”
  9. The Jam – “When You’re Young” / “Smithers-Jones”
  10. Kim Carnes – “Bette Davis Eyes” / “Miss You Tonite”
  11. Toyah – “Brave New World” / “Warrior Rock”
  12. The Who – “You Better You Bet” / “The Quiet One”
  13. Suzi Quatro – “The Wild One” / “Shake My Sugar”
  14. Madness – “Night Boat to Cairo” / “Deceives the Eye” / “The Young and the Old” / “Don’t Quote Me On That”
  15. Bon Jovi – “You Give Love a Bad Name” / “Let It Rock”
  16. Freddie Mercury – “Love Kills” / Giorgio Moroder – “Rotwang’s Party (Robot Dance)”
  17. Siouxsie & The Banshees – “Dear Prudence” / “Tattoo”
  18. The Kinks – “Good Day” / “Too Hot”
  19. Bob Marley & The Wailers – “No Woman, No Cry” / “Kinky Reggae”
  20. Dexy’s Midnight Runners – “Geno” / “Breakin’ Down the Walls of Heartache”
  21. Toy Dolls – “Nellie the Elephant” / “Fisticuffs in Frederick Street”
  22. Rainbow – “All Night Long” / “Weiss Heim”
  23. The Motors – “Forget About You” / “Picturama”
  24. Angelic Upstarts – “Never ‘Ad Nothin'” / “Nowhere Left to Hide”

Wow.  That was a spectacular evening’s music.  Just look at the quality tunes in that list!  I think the Zodiac Mindwarp track was my favourite, but there are loads of legendary artists and great songs there.

Don’t laugh at the Osmonds track – that song is amazing.  I’m more embarrassed about the Bon Jovi number – but what the hell, it was fun.

And Nellie the Elephant by Toy Dolls was just superb – took me right back to my childhood, the day after hearing that song on Top of the Pops.  A school playground classic, along with “Baggy Trousers”.

All of the records are in a random order, so there’s no guessing what might appear next in the queue.  But that turned out to be one of the best nights of music listening in a long while, with a wide variety of genres represented.

Back soon with more…

Wizard Rifle – Album Review

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Time for another review I wrote for Ever Metal, which you can now read at the Virtual Hot Tub:

Wizard Rifle – Wizard Rifle

Svart Records

Release date: 30/08/2019

Running Time: 45 mins

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

 

Right, about time I got back to business with these album reviews for my pals at Ever Metal.  But how do you define the indefinable?  ‘Cos that’s basically the issue I’ve had with this review (not writer’s block, honest).  Comparing Wizard Rifle to other bands in myopic, lazy journo style just doesn’t seem to cut it with these guys.

There’s too much going on with Wizard Rifle’s self-titled album to accurately pin down a clumsy similarity to someone else.  It’s a mixture of loud, obnoxious metal, post rock, screamy hardcore punk and grungy sludge; with waves of psychedelic beauty tying it together.

Despite the unholy wall of noise that the band produce there are just two of them – guitarist/vocalist Max Dameron and drummer/vocalist Sam Ford.  That’s a hell of a racket for just two people.  They’re not short of ideas either, as the genre blending demonstrates.  Maybe that’s an advantage of just two minds, rather than several – Dameron and Ford display some ingenious telepathy weaving their creations together.

Loads of energy too – “Rocket to Hell” (great title) is a glorious, shouty opener, and “Caveman Waltz” is a possible contender for Riff of the Year.  It chugs like a drug fuelled locomotive trying to jump the Grand Canyon.

There are only five songs on this record, but as none of them are under seven minutes in length, there’s plenty of value for money.  The guys have learnt to expand a song and explore its possibilities in a way that keeps the ear engaged.  Like on the 12 minute epic “Funeral of the Sun”, which stretches out hypnotically but loses none of its heavy intensity.

Wizard Rifle are from the Portland, Oregon area – which as it’s the Pacific North West, must surely be Big Foot country.  So, I’m gonna coin a lazy journo phrase and label this sound Big Foot Rock.  Remember, you read it here first.  And yes, when this band are huge and Big Foot Rock takes over Western Civilization, I’ll be claiming the royalties for inventing that label.

Big Foot Rock T-shirt, sir?  That’ll be £19.99.  “Now That’s What I Call Bigfoot Rock, Vol 1” vinyl compilation?  Just £27.99.  Can I change a fifty?  Oh, keep the change?  Thank you very much.

The Wizard Rifle Facebook page is here.

You can find Wizard Rifle on Bandcamp here.

The Ever Metal website is here.