“Room 101: Bugs” by Eloise Jones

My daughter, Eloise, was tasked in school to write about something she disliked, that could go into Room 101. Like the comedy panel show that Frank Skinner presents. Panellists nominate something they hate, describe why they hate it, the “winning” topic is consigned to the legendary Room 101 to fester for all time.

Eloise chose “bugs”. She wrote such a passionate article that I though I’d share it here. Whether you agree with her or not, it’s a sincere piece with some real emotion!

Room 101: Bugs – by Eloise Jones

Bugs. Disgusting, right? Tiny and fast, they could be anywhere at anytime – hiding underneath your bed covers, in your favourite mug of hot chocolate… Whatever your least–favourite bugs are, I’m sure I hate all of them.

Starting off with places that bugs are free to roam. Such as Pili Palas. Butterflies flying everywhere, landing on your head – it’s a complete nightmare! 9/10 people dislike things that fly, so imagine someone walking into the butterfly house and going completely crazy! Also, around 95% of people hate it when flies come into the house and start flying around, so much that they kill them with a book! Bugs are just gross, ghastly and gory.

Personally, I have had several traumatising experiences that have altered my brain in some way. My first one is when I was younger, I went to a museum with my class. There was a room about bugs that scared me because they had these ginormous, ugly and terrifying models of bugs. That left me scarred for life. Another one is not too long ago, I was on holiday in Greece and there were loads of icky grasshopper – type creatures jumping everywhere. Whenever I talk about that holiday and I get to the topic of those nasty little beasts I refer to them as “Killer bugs”.

Just think of the peaceful and free life we’d have if we had no bugs. A summer without bugs even – jumping into pools and eating ice cream without all the fuss of having bug spray on. Sure, we have to wear sun cream still – (which is also annoying) – but there won’t be intrusive wasps attacking your cheese sandwich on a peaceful summer day. A family dinner without the odd wasp coming over and making the entire party jump up and run around. The perfect summer.

Surely everyone agrees that bugs are extremely annoying. When you’re enjoying a run in the garden with summer clothes on, kicking the football across the garden and then suddenly a wasp arrives, stings you and ruins the fun. It’s also annoying when a bug bites you and it gets sore and itchy and it really hurts. And if the worse comes to worst – There could be a bug invasion and bugs could come to fame! (Which is highly unlikely)

Honestly, who does like bugs? They’re not cute, they’re not that intelligent, and sure, wiping flies out will wipe out all spiders as well and will eventually corrupt the entire world, but at least I won’t have to put up with midges trying to eat me and my family alive whenever we go on holiday.

Sergeant Thunderhoof – Album Review

Sergeant Thunderhoof – This Sceptred Veil

Pale Wizard Records

Release date: 03/06/2022

Running time: 69 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

9.5/10

OK: so for once, I’m kinda stuck for words.  How do I tackle this album, the new offering from Sergeant Thunderhoof?  I mean, we can go through a song-by-song overview; try to describe the listening experience for the reader, make comparisons to other bands in a lame attempt to get the message across.  But what I really need – or want – to do, is SELL it.  Because I care about you, Ever Metal readers, and I don’t want you to miss out.  “This Sceptred Veil” is a fantastic record.

Our opening song ‘You’ve Stolen the Words’ lays Sergeant Thunderhoof’s wares out on the table from the off.  A mammoth, heavy riff erupts from the speakers and drags the listener along like a tin can in a hurricane.  This is a big sound.  Mark Sayers guitars are momentous, epic on a biblical scale.  Comparisons to Soundgarden are obvious but apt, particularly considering the Olympian vocals of Daniel Flitcroft, soaring on every song.

If I was gonna make more lazy comparisons, there’s a hint of spacey Monster Magnet raunch on ‘King Beyond the Gates’ and maybe even some Maiden gallop on ‘Show Don’t Tell’.  Both tracks testify that the rhythm section – Jim Camp on bass and Darren Ashman on drums – have the skills to rev the engine as well as groove along on the more cerebral tracks.

Speaking of the cerebral, it’s the lengthy prog work outs that differentiate Thunderhoof from other similar artists.  As much as I love the rockin’ numbers (shout out too for ‘Devil’s Daughter’), these guys are extremely comfortable wandering into the realms where Mastodon rule.  Witness ‘Avon and Avalon’ Parts I and II: two tracks that, whilst not exactly mellow, certainly take their time to explore and build a musical soundscape.  It’s thrilling.

Running at around the 69-minute mark, there is a lot to discover here.  You’re going to need to devote some time to this baby, but don’t fret – you’ll be massively rewarded if you do.  So please forgive the hard sell.  I only mention similar bands in an attempt to reach out to fans who I know will dig this, too.  Sergeant Thunderhoof have created a superb album in “This Sceptred Veil” – one of the best of the year, so far.  Don’t miss it.   

Check out Sergeant Thunderhoof on Facebook, Bandcamp and Instagram.

You can find Pale Wizard Records on Facebook, Bandcamp and their interwebs page.

This review has been brought to you by Ever Metal and Platinum Al.

Platinum Al’s Top 10 Rock & Metal Albums of 2022

2022 was a fantastic year for new music. Bands that are old favourites, and new discoveries, made my musical journey through the year a great one. Of course, reviewing albums for my compadres at Ever Metal helped in my explorations – a gig that I’m very happy and proud to continue.

I was prompted to compile this list of my Top 10 Rock and Metal albums of the year by Ever Metal. This list has already appeared on that site, but why not share it at the Virtual Hot Tub too?

So here we go, the official 2022 countdown:

10. Brant Bjork – “Bougainvillea Suite”

A laidback, trippy journey through Brant Bjork’s sixties record collection.  Ideal for summer evenings.

Brant Bjork Facebook!

9. Captain Caravan/Kaiser – “Turned to Stone – Chapter 6”

Fantastic split album from Captain Caravan and Kaiser, which crept up on my unexpectedly and quickly became a favourite.

Captain Caravan Facebook! Kaiser Facebook!

8. Earthless – “Night Parade of One Hundred Demons”

Outrageously good album created by amazing musicians, Earthless are nutritious energy for the ears, mind and soul.

Earthless Facebook!

7. Stoner – “Totally…”

It’s Brant Bjork again, here with Nick Oliveri in their stoner rock super group.  Does exactly what you’d expect, and features one of the best album covers I’ve seen in a long while.

Stoner Facebook!

6. MWWB – “The Harvest”

Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard don’t disappoint with this heavy yet progressive album, brimming with new ideas and sci-fi experimentation.

MWWB Facebook!

5. Nebula – “Transmissions from Mother Ship Earth”

Glorious heavy psych rock from Nebula, showcasing their savage riffs and outer space vibes.

Nebula Facebook!

4. Battalions – “King of a Dead World”

A monster of an album!  Heavy, sludgy – that’s all you need to know.  Brutal and brilliant!  They’re from Hull!

Battalions Facebook!

3. Crobot – “Feel This”

The most exciting hard rock band around deliver another energetic slab of groovy rock’n’roll.  Unmissable!

Crobot Website!

2. Clutch – “Sunrise on Slaughter Beach”

It’s Clutch, what can you say?  Clutch are legendary and they always come up with the goods.  This latest feels slightly darker than previous releases, but has all the required Clutch-ness necessary.

Clutch Website!

  1. Sergeant Thunderhoof – “This Sceptred Veil”

A worthy triumph at the top of my 2022 chart.  An album that has it all: heavy riffs, powerful playing, melody and invention – it’s an experience that the listener can truly immerse themselves in.

Sergeant Thunderhoof Facebook!

All awesome albums and I recommend you check them out immediately. And what a winner! You can read my review of the Sergeant Thunderhoof album on Ever Metal, and I’ll re-post it here soon.

Not long after I compiled this Top 10, I received a package in the post. It was a vinyl copy of the “This Sceptred Veil” album, which was a nice surprise. What made it even more special, was an excerpt from my Ever Metal review appearing on the hype sticker plastered to the front! I was super stoked to see this – hope my words help shift a few copies of this superb record!

Honourable mentions this year for quality releases from Ghost (should’ve been a Top !0 entry?); plus my old chums The Cult and Red Hot Chili Peppers (both continuing to release great music after all this time); amongst many others.

There’s lots of more new music to look forward to in 2023. The fun thing is, I don’t even know what some of them will be yet…

Stay tuned to Ever Metal and Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot tub for the reviews that mattter!

The Best of 2022

Happy New Year! And here we go, full throttle into 2023!

2022 was not an easy year for your old pal, Platinum Al. But the Virtual Hot Tub soldiered on regardless, never giving up despite the odds. NEVER SAY DIE. And in the end, the year 2022 was a successful one for this blog, with site views up approx. 2% on the year before.

Not a massive improvement, I’ll grant you – but I’ll take all the good news I can get. I certainly didn’t expect to finish the year with those stats, just the opposite.

So what were the most successful blog posts on the Virtual Hot tub in 2022? What articles brought in the hordes of avid readers? What did YOU want to read?

Here’s the traditional review of the Top 10 blog posts by number of views. In reverse order, countdown style, of course…

10. Hawarden Classic Car Show

Events started to return in 2022, and this local classic car show was a great example of the fun to be had as restrictions were lifted. Some nice pics.

9. New Skateboard 2022 – Death Benson

I like to chronicle my skateboards (or at least just the deck) for posterity, and just for myself. Despite my doubts, this rad set up made the Top 10.

8. Pentre Fest 2022

My beloved Pentre Fest was BACK in 22, with two more days of metal bands at high volume. Not long till the 2023 event!

7. Liverpool Comic Con 2022

A family trip out to Liverpool for a great con and a load of cosplay photos.

6. Scars of Halloween Horror Fest

My annual horror movie fest provided this blog, which was by far the most popular this year as it featured a Hammer classic.

5. Star Wars Figures- Empire Strikes Back Part 2

I’m happy to see the second part of my blog focussing on my Star Wars figures from The Empire Strikes Back feature in the Top 10!

4. Subskate Summer Fun!

An in depth investigation into the merits (and failings) of a pool toy that never quite made it.

3. Star Wars Figures – The Empire Strikes Back

The first part of my feature concerning my original Star Wars figures from Empire. Good to see this was popular!

2. Return of Wales Comic Con

More Comic Con and cosplay fun, with a visit to Wrexham and Wales Comic Con back on home ground.

So what was the number one blog post of 2022? It was…

  1. Chester Comic Con 2022

In the number one spot, a visit to Chester’s Comic Con! A summer afternoon, loads of merch and dozens of cool cosplayers made this article the most successful of the year!

Events back on the menu has, unsurprisingly, dominated the results this year. They were all great fun, and well worth the visit. In contrast to the results from last year, where events were (understandably) under represented.

It’s also gratifying to see some skateboards and toys being appreciated, too.

This year, we look to return to a “new normal” in our post pandemic world. But with a Cost of Living Crisis, Brexit still unleashing it’s mayhem, and the same gang of inept cowards and liars in charge, we still have plenty of obstacles ahead.

Never the less, we at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub remain vigilant – bringing you the best entertainment. Thanks for being with us in 2022. Stay tuned for ever more greatness in 2023!