Tag Archives: song list

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #29

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Yo! Here we are again, tout le monde – a treat for lovers of music on vinyl! That’s right – another Singles Night at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, where I play my way through a big ol’ stack of 7″ singles and have a big time knees up whilst I do it.

There are literally dozens of 45 rpm records chez moi: some classic, some crap. I love ’em all. With a few drinkies to ease things along, we’re in for a great evening.

Here’s the latest playlist:

  1. The Mission – “Severina” / “Tomorrow Never Knows”
  2. Joe Fagin – “Back with the Boys Again” / “Get it Right”
  3. Samantha Fox – “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now” / “Dream City”
  4. Samantha Fox – “I Surrender (To the Spirit of the Night”) / “The Best is Yet to Come”
  5. Lacuna Coil – “Our Truth”/ “Without a Reason”
  6. Paul McCartney & The Frog Chorus – ” We All Stand Together” / “We All Stand Together (Humming Version)”
  7. Slade – “7 Year Bitch” / “Leave Them Girls Alone”
  8. Demon – “Wonderland” / “Blackheath”
  9. Sex Pistols – “Silly Thing” / “Who Killed Bambi”
  10. Bad Manners – “Can Can” / “Armchair Disco”
  11. Doctor & The Medics – “Burn” / “Captain Frazer”
  12. 2 in a Room – “Wiggle It” / “Take Me Away”
  13. Slade – “My Oh My” / “Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply”
  14. T’Pau – “China in Your Hand” / “No Sense of Pride”
  15. Belinda Carlisle – “I Get Weak” / “Should I Let You In?”
  16. Madonna – “Crazy for You” / Sammy Hagar – “I’ll Fall in Love Again”
  17. Billy Ocean – “Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car” / “Showdown”
  18. Scorpions – “Wind of Change” / “Restless Nights”
  19. Jack Parnell & His Orchestra – “Galloping Home (Theme From Black Beauty” / “Hawaii Five-O”
  20. Then Jericho – “Big Area” / “The Big Sweep”

Wow. From the Sex Pistols to the Frog Chorus – as always, it’s an eclectic night at the Virtual Hot tub on Singles Night! That might not be Paul McCartney’s greatest moment, but to be fair, I loved Rupert the Bear when I was a toddler, so consider me a fan.

Some notes:

The first Sam Fox single is credited as the “Samantha Fox Box”, as it comes in a carboard boxset thing with a poster. The second Sam Fox single is a Limited Edition blue vinyl single, in a gatefold photo pack. Pretty cool, and both from bargain bins.

Also from a bargain bin, the Lacuna Coil single is picture disc – and only cost me £1. Crazy bargain!

Lots of songs I loved in this evening’s playlist: the Pistols easily being my favourite. The worst was that Scorpions song, that was rubbbish.

Variety is the spice of life, and this Singles Night playlist was indeed spicy. Great tracks. More soon!

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #28

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Well it’s been a while, but here we are back at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub enjoying some 45 rpm tunes. I can promise you another night of varied music spanning the musical genres – some well known, some obscure, some classic, some not so classic.

How does it work? It’s simple: I play my way through my (sometimes bizarre) collection of 7″ vinyl singles – both sides, one after the other. The result is a playlist of tunes and an evening captured in time. Drinking the booze often helps.

Here we go with this playlist:

  1. The Stranglers – “Walk on by” / “Old Codger” / “Tank”
  2. Anti Nowhere League – “Streets of London” / “So What”
  3. Public Image Limited – “Rise” / “Rise (Instrumental)”
  4. Fat Boys – “Wipeout” / “Crushin'”
  5. Creedence Clearwater Revival – “Up Around the Bend” / “Run Through the Jungle”
  6. Nazareth – “Shanghai’d in Shanghai” / “Love, Now You’re Gone”
  7. Nazareth – “This Flight Tonight” / “Called Her Name”
  8. Tiffany – “Could’ve Been” / “The Heart of Love”
  9. The Beach Boys – “Do It Again” / “Wake the World”
  10. The Hollies – “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” / “‘Cos You Like to Love Me”
  11. Madonna – “Hanky Panky” / “More”
  12. The Beatmasters ft. The Cookie Crew – “”Rok Da House (Remix)” / “Rok Da House”
  13. Fuzzbox – “International Rescue” / “Raining Champagne”
  14. Thin Lizzy – “Rosalie (Cowgirl’s Song)” / “Me and the Boys”
  15. Thin Lizzy – “Whisky in the Jar” / “Black Boys on the Corner”
  16. Diana Ross – “Touch me in the Morning” / “Baby it’s Love”
  17. Diana Ross – “All of My Life” / “A Simple Thing Like Cry”
  18. Dian Ross & Marvin Gaye – “You Are Everything” / “Include Me in Your Life”
  19. Stevie Wonder – “Saturn” / “Ebony Eyes” / “All Day Sucker” / Easy Goin’ Evening (My Mama’s Call)”
  20. Stevie Nicks – “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” / “Kind of Woman”

A few notes on the records listed above: firstly, the Fat Boys A side is listed as “featuring The Beach Boys”, so that group have ended up with two mentions in this list, technically.

The Stevie Wonder single is the 7″ EP that originally came with the “Songs in the Key of Life” album. I already owned the album, but not the single, so that’s a great addition to my collection.

Also, the Stevie Nicks single features Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

A fine evening’s entertainment with that playlist. From the most obscene song in my entire record collection (ANL’s “So What”), covering some punk/new wave classics, hard rock and pop gems – it was a ton of fun. More soon.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot tub #27

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I promised we’d revisit Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for another Singles Night, so here we go! Another evening of playing 7 inch singles and having a few cocktails (or beers, or whatever you thirst for). There’s a massive pile of these 45 rpm records to get through, so prepare yourself!

As a quick recap for the uninitiated, I have a stack (or several) of singles that I haven’t played yet. Some have been gifts, some have been picked up – usually very cheaply – from record shops, record fairs, charity shops and carboot sales. The idea is to play through the stack of vinyl one at a time, A side the B side, and enjoy the tunes.

Now I present to you my latest playlist:

  1. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Taste the Pain” / “Show Me Your Soul”
  2. The Stranglers – “European Female” / “Savage Breast”
  3. The Wee Papa Girl Rappers – “We Rule” / “Rebel Rap”
  4. Salt-n-Pepa – “Shake Your Thang” / “Spinderella’s Not a Fella”
  5. Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice Baby” / “It’s a Party”
  6. Motley Crue – “Girls, Girls, Girls” / “Sumthin’ for Nothin'”
  7. Neil Pepper (Elvis) – “Stairway to Heaven” / “The Beatnix – “Stairway to Heaven”
  8. Sham 69 – “Hurry Up, Harry” / “No Entry”
  9. Kenny Everett – “Snot Rap” / “Snot Rap (Part 2)”
  10. The Turtles – “Happy Together” / “Like the Seasons”
  11. Aerosmith – “Janie’s Got a Gun” / “Voodoo Medicine Man”
  12. Don Fardon – “Indian Reservation” / “Hudson Bay”
  13. Cerrone – “Je Suis Music” / “Rocket in the Pocket”
  14. Marty Wilde – “It’s Been Nice” / “Bad Boy”
  15. Taja Seville – “Love is Contagious” / “Mama”
  16. B.A. Robertson & Maggie Bell – “Hold Me” / “Spring Greens”
  17. Fiddler’s Dram – “Daytrip to Bangor” / “The Flash Lad”
  18. Bob Geldof – “The Great Song of Indifference” / “Hotel 75”
  19. Gary Shearston – “I Get a Kick Out of You” / “Witnessing”
  20. Mr. Mister – “Kyrie” / “Kyrie (Extended)”

A note on disc number 7 above: Neil Pepper is an Elvis impersonator, and The Beatnix are a Beatles tribute band. On this record, both have covered the Led Zeppelin classic in the style of their inspirations.

The latter half of this playlist started to wander in to some strange, unknown territory – along with featuring some decidedly dodgy songs. A while back, I purchased a box of about 100 singles at a carboot sale for a fiver, quite a lot of which was quality music. Here though, some of the dregs have started to float to the surface.

It’s not all bad though, and there’s a fair spread of awesome tracks scattered through out the list to make it a fun listen. Plus a lot of variety too, from The Crue’s dumb party metal, to classic 60’s pop from the Turtles, 80’s pop with Mr. Mister and some great old school hip hop.

I’m favouring Sham 69 and The Stranglers as particularly fine songs. And of course the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which I bought because although the A side I have on an album, I wanted the B side to add to my collection.

Singles Nights are always a cool way to spend an evening. I’ll update you with another killer playlist soon.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #26

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Welcome, music lovers! Yes, we’re back at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for another leisurely evening of spinning 45 rpm records and drinking a hell of a load of cocktails. It is on, brothers and sisters!

So what’s going down? It’s pretty simple. I have a stack of vinyl singles (hence “Singles Night”) and I’m playin’ ’em in order, side A then B, just for the heck of it. Because it’s fun. And you might just hear some great tunes. No cheating: play each single in the pile, with no skipping (even if it’s a dud).

Here’s the latest playlist. Grab a drink, this is gonna be fun…

  1. Dread Zeppelin – “Stairway to Heaven” / “Jailhouse Rock”
  2. INXS – “Suicide Blonde” / “Everybody Wants U Tonight”
  3. Creedence Clearwater Revival – “Bad Moon Rising” / “Lodi”
  4. Rainbow – “All Night Long” / “Weiss Heim”
  5. AC/DC – “Heatseeker” / “Go Zone”
  6. INXS – “New Sensation” / “Do Wot You Do”
  7. Budgie – “Keeping a Rendezvous” / “Apparatus”
  8. Eagles – “New Kid in Town” / “Victim of Love”
  9. Free – “My Brother Jake” / Only My Soul”
  10. Village People – “In the Navy” / “Manhattan Woman”
  11. Mike Post ft. Larry Carlton – “The Theme from Hill Street Blues” / “Aaron’s Tune”
  12. Sammy Davis Jnr – “What Kind of Fool Am I” / “Gonna Build a Mountain” / “Someone Nice Like You” / “Once in a Lifetime”
  13. Giorgio Moroder w/ Philip Oakey – “Together in Electric Dreams” / “Together in Electric Dreams (Instrumental)”
  14. S’Express – “Superfly Guy” / “Funky Killer”
  15. Sting – “Demolition Man (Soulpower Radio Mix)” / “Demolition Man (Film Version”
  16. Slade – “Far Far Away” / “OK Yesterday Was Yesterday”
  17. Shakatak – “Feels Like the Right Time” / “Corina”
  18. Roy Orbison – “Only the Lonely” / “Here Comes That Song Again”
  19. Earth Wind & Fire – “In the Stone” / “Africano”
  20. Little Eva – “The Loco-Motion” / “He is the Boy”

And were there any duds in this selection? Well, nothing disastrous, though “Hill Street Blues” was a bit of a mood changer.

But just look at the strength of the list over all: some absolute beauties from AC/DC, Free, Rainbow, CCR and double INXS. Plus that Budgie single (which is a really nice 7 inch picture disc, by the way) is totally cool.

Some great pop classics in there, too. Village People and Giorgio Moroder? Floor fillers!

Thanks for joining me for another Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub. Let’s do it again soon. In the meantime, keep your media physical and your drinks cool.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot tub #25

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Yes, that’s right: it’s time for another Singles Night! This is no crappy Channel 4 dating show featuring halfwit Instagram influencers, no sir. The type of single we’re talking about here is the vinyl kind – 45 rpm records, beautiful black plastic discs. Seven inches of pure joy!

For the newcomers, I have a pile of unplayed vinyl singles, which I listen to consecutively (A side, then B side). Accompanied by a few drinkies, it’s a most excellent evening of entertainment.

Here’s the latest playlist, featuring some total bangers:

  1. AC/DC – “Touch Too Much” / “Live Wire” / “Shot Down in Flames”
  2. The Piranhas – “Tom Hark” / “Getting Beaten Up” / “Boyfriend”
  3. Judas Priest – “Evening Star” / “Beyond the Realms of Death”
  4. Hollywood Beyond – “South Africa” / “The Cocteau Twins – “Orange Appled” / The Fall – “Lucifer Over Lancashire” / Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction – “High Priest of Love”
  5. Pretenders – “Brass in Pocket” / “Swinging London” / “Nervous But Shy”
  6. Billy Idol – “Rebel Yell” / “(Do Not) Stand in the Shadows”
  7. Television – “Prove It” / “Venus”
  8. Def Leppard – “Rocket” / “Release Me”
  9. U2 – “The Unforgettable Fire” / “A Sort of Homecoming”
  10. Pet Shop Boys – “Always On My Mind” / “Do I Have to?”
  11. A Flock of Seagulls – “Wishing (I Had a Photograph of You)” / “Committed”
  12. Frankie Goes to Hollywood – “Relax” / “One September Monday”
  13. Big Country – “Chance” / “The Tracks of My Tears”
  14. Duran Duran – “Wild Boys” / “(I’m Looking for) Cracks in the Pavement (1984)”
  15. GB Band – “Smasheroo” / “Long Distance Calling”
  16. Petula Clark – “Downtown” / “You’d Better Love Me”
  17. Paula Abdul – “Straight Up” / “Straight Up Power Mix”
  18. Slade – “All Join Hands” / “Here’s to…”
  19. Foreigner – “Say You Will” / “A Night to Remeber”
  20. Chuck Berry – “Reelin’ and Rockin'” / “I Will Not Let You Go”

Whoa, a lot of EPs and mulitple B sides, there!

There you go: another twenty top quality tunes that I enjoyed rocking out to in the Virtual Hot Tub. Well, except maybe Foreigner. But at least Chuck Berry saved the day!

That playlist spans the years and the genres, with some of my favourite artists like AC/DC, Billy Idol and Zodiac Mindwarp rubbing shoulders with pop legends and underground classics. Which ones are you a fan of?

See you soon for another Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub!

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #24

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One of my favourite types of night in: a random stack of 7 inch vinyl, and a big old crate of booze. I’ve not held a Singles Night at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for a little while, so allow me to put that right.

You see, I’ve got a load of 7″ singles that I haven’t listened to yet. They come from various sources, though most are second hand. So I play ’em through, A side then B side, and enjoy the sonic delights. Accompanied with a tipple of two.

Here’s the latest batch:

  1. Mudhoney – “Warning” / Meat Puppets – “One of These Days”
  2. Cockney Rejects – “The Greatest Cockney Rip Off” / “Hate of the City”
  3. Metallica – “The Unforgiven” / “Killing Time”
  4. The Shipbuilders – “Silk Road” / “La Fee Verte”
  5. Huey Lewis & The News – “Stuck With You” / “Don’t Ever Tell Me That You Love Me”
  6. The Archies – “Sugar, Sugar” / “Melody Hill”
  7. Boney M – “Painter Man” / “He Was a Steppenwolf”
  8. Twiggy – “Falling Angel” / “Virginia (And the Circus Side Show)”
  9. Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe – “Barcelona” / “Exercises in Free Love”
  10. Yes – “Going for the One” / “Awaken Pt. 1”
  11. Bad Manners – “Special Brew” / “Ivor the Engine”
  12. Kylie Minogue – “Better the Devil You Know” / “I’m Over Dreaming (Over You)”
  13. The Jam – “Going Underground” / “The Dreams of Children”
  14. Siouxsie & The Banshees – “Cities in Dust” / “An Execution”
  15. Gary Numan – The Live E.P.: “Are “Friends” Electric?” / “Berserker” / “Cars” / “We Are Glass”
  16. Del Shannon – “Runaway” / “Jody”
  17. The Smurfs – “Silly Little Song” / “Little Smurf Boat”
  18. The Proclaimers – “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” / “Better Days”
  19. Stray Cats – “Stray Cat Strut” / “Drink That Bottle Down”
  20. Eurythmics – “Sexcrime (Nineteen Eighty Four)” / “I Did it Just the Same”

From Metallica to the Smurfs, there’s a right old mixture in that playlist. A nice wide coverage of genres from pop, disco, ska, prog rock, punk and – wonder of wonders – even some opera. Not to mention all the various subgenres on the list (Goth? Post punk? New Wave? Make your own conclusions).

Another fine evening of music, I can recommend a Singles Night for the variety and fun. Dig out your old singles collection and have a knees up!

Fields of the Nephilim – Gig Review

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Fields of the Nephilim + The Faces of Sarah

Friday 10th September 2021

Buckley Tivoli

It had been a good 18 months since I last attended a gig, and leaving the house to join a throng of fans enjoying live music seemed like a very strange proposition. I’d actually forgotten all about the concert, as tickets had been booked long before lockdown. Heading up to the Tiv was both exciting and, if I’m honest, a little unnerving.

On entering the venue, it was just like old times: a great vibe as the crowd drank and awaited the bands. As life was getting back to normal, the Goths had crept from the shadows near and far, ready to witness Fields of the Nephilim.

The support band, The Faces of Sarah, were already attempting to breathe life into the evening. Unfortunately, and unusually for the Tiv, they could hardly be heard. I wasn’t too far away, but could barely make out the sound of the instruments. The guitarist looked to be going for it, throwing shapes like a crazed gibbon, but to no avail. The dual lead vocals were extremely impressive, however the poor sound made them come across like an AOR outfit.

Had my old copy of the Usborne Book of Goths been on my person, I could’ve ticked off several obvious dark rock tropes from the moment Fields of the Nephilim took the stage. There was so much dry ice the band could barely be seen, just a group of grey silhouettes in dusty cowboy hats. They begin in true over the top, cinematic style with “The Harmonica Man”. Atmosphere is poured on with no restraint.

And that’s exactly what I paid my money for: I wanted the full experience without any subtlety, and by God, that’s what the audience got.

FOTN erupted into “Preacher Man” and we all loved it. There’s no onstage frontman/audience banter (till the very end) and that, again, is just how I expected it. The songs bounce along like little Goth demons knowing Halloween isn’t far away.

“Moonchild” was an obvious highlight, with its slow, moody intro leading into the searing guitar and rumbling bass. The whole set is all treat, no tricks – I got the feeling that this is exactly how FOTN would’ve performed 30 years ago. The whole set is absolutely note perfect and full of every excess that the audience could devour.

I’d also forgotten how much I enjoy live music. This evening was a fantastic reminder of what we’ve been missing – can’t wait for more.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #23

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What could be better, I ask you: playing through a pile of classic 7 inch vinyl singles, whilst having a few alcoholic beverages, basking in the glory of music? Not much. The only catch here, is that some of these records are less “classic” than others…

Never the less, my mission to listen to my stack of unplayed vinyl singles continues regardless. A side then B side, no skipping, playing the lot – whether hard sought after treasure; charity shop find or gift.

Pour yourself a drink and join me on my latest musical odyssey…

  1. Iggy Pop – “Real Wild Child (Wild One)” / “Little Miss Emperor”
  2. Garbage – “Queer” / “The Very Queer Dub-Bin Version”
  3. Garbage – “When I Grow Up” / “Can’t Seem to Make You Mine”
  4. The Gap Band – “Oops Upside Your Head” / “The Boys Are Back in Town”
  5. Glen Campbell – “Rhinestone Cowboy” / “Lovelight”
  6. Kim Wilde – “The Second Time” / “Lovers on a Beach”
  7. Kim Wilde – “Dancing in the Dark” / “Back Street Driver”
  8. Styx – “Boat on the River” / “Come Sail Away”
  9. The Mama’s and the Papa’s – “Monday Monday” / Got a Feelin'”
  10. Dave Davies – “Death of a Clown” / “Love Me Till the Sun Shines”
  11. Duane Eddy – “Rebel Rouser” / Bobby Day – “Rockin’ Robin” / Chubby Checker – “Pony Time”
  12. Trio – Da Da Da (English Version) / Da Da Da (German Version)
  13. Billy Fury – “Halfway to Paradise” / “Cross My Heart”
  14. The Zombies – “She’s Not There” / “You Make Me Feel Good”
  15. Stevie Wonder – “Yester-me, Yester-you, Yesterday” / “I’d Be a Fool Right Now”
  16. Roy Orbison – “It’s Over” / “Indian Wedding”
  17. Gene Vincent – “She She Little Sheila” / “Hot Dollar”
  18. The Motors – “Forget About You” / “Picturama”
  19. Blondie – “Island of Lost Souls” / “Dragonfly”
  20. T-Rex – “20th Century Boy” / “Free Angel”

Another 20 awesome singles! Great stuff there from Iggy, Blondie, T-Rex, Roy Orbison – plus double Garbage and double Kim Wilde. Crossing the genres and spanning the years, it was another fine night of music.

More Singles Night vinyl soon!

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #22

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Time for another twenty slices of 7 inch vinyl goodness, with Singles Night at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub!

You know what that means: an evening of me playing through a stack of vinyl singles, one after the other, whilst imbibing the booze. It’s more fun than it sounds, honest! There are untold treasures in my pile of records waiting to be rediscovered – plus a few duds that should be consigned to the pop junk pile.

Join me now, on yet another daring voyage into my vinyl collection…

  1. Paul Simon – “You Can Call Me Al” / “Gumboots”
  2. Steppenwolf – “Hey Lawdy Mama” / “Twisted”
  3. Steppenwolf – “Born to be Wild” / “The Pusher”
  4. Iggy Pop – “Livin’ on the Edge of the Night” / “The Passenger”
  5. C.W. McCall – “Convoy” / “Long Lonesome Road”
  6. Belinda Carlisle – “Do You Feel Like I Feel?” / “Do You Feel Like I Feel? (Dance Mix)”
  7. The Dave Clark Five – “Glad All Over” / “I Know You”
  8. Chris Montez – “Let’s Dance” / Lonnie Mack – “Memphis”
  9. Dion & The Belmonts – “A Teenager in Love” / “I Can’t Go On (Rosalie)”
  10. Hank Williams – “Honky Tonk Blues” / “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive” / “My Bucket’s Got a Hole in it” / “Baby, We’re Really in Love”
  11. Slade – “Skweeze Me, Pleeze Me” / “Kill ‘Em at the Hot Club Tonite”
  12. M – “Pop Muzik” / “M Factor”
  13. Nancy Sinatra & Frank Sinatra – “Somethin’ Stupid” / Frank Sinatra – “Call Me”
  14. Kylie Minogue – “What Do I Have to do” / “What Do I Have to do (Instrumental)”
  15. Queen – “You’re My Best Friend” / “’39”
  16. 10cc – “I’m not in Love” / “Good News”
  17. Rod Stewart – “Ain’t Love a Bitch” / “Scarred and Scared”
  18. David Bowie – “Sound and Vision” / “A New Career in a New Town”
  19. Eagles – “Witchy Woman” / “Earlybird”
  20. The Sweet – “Hell Raiser” / “Burning”

Well, I had to own a copy of that Paul Simon classic, right? And the Slade B-side is tantalisingly close to hot tub, though I wouldn’t want Noddy and pals murdering anyone in my Virtual Hot Tub.

A couple of Steppenwolf killers there: look at that Easy Rider style double A side! One of the most underrated bands ever. I was lacking an Iggy single in my collection, hence that purchase – but didn’t realise that “The Passenger” was on the B-side. That’s definitely going in my jukebox, when I get one.

Regular readers will know how much I adore the lovely Belinda Carlisle. That single is a picture disc, with a bonus photo and frame (see pic) – not bad for a 50p charity shop purchase. On the other hand, I’ve never rated Kylie (I much prefer her sister, phwooar!) – but that tune’s not bad.

With some legendary country and pop – not to mention awesome tunes from Queen, Bowie and Sweet – that’s a pretty damn fine playlist. “Convoy” was one of my earliest favourite songs, by the way.

I’ll be back soon with another Singles Night – stay tuned!

Endoscopy Playlist

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Last year was a nightmare. The worst part for me, beyond the pandemic, was my Farmer Giles playing up. I was in absolute agony, for months. The previously pleasant experience of seeing a friend to the coast became torture.

Over the years I’ve had several tattoos; fallen off a ramp whilst skateboarding and landed forehead first; fallen through a neighbours loft, shredding my foot in the process – plus many more ridiculous episodes of pain. None of them have ever hurt like the Emma Freuds giving you trouble, I can tell you. God bless all the mothers out there, because I have no doubt child birth is worse than a cat-arse-trophy like mine and I respect you all the more for going through with it.

After several weeks and months of treatment and examination by wonderful NHS staff, my ailment had been diagnosed as an anal fissure and I was mostly cured. I still pray every night that I have beaten this terrible affliction.

Part of the healing process was a visit to hospital for an endoscopy examination, i.e: a camera up the bum. The problem was determined, and thus, this was purely a precautionary measure.

My examination was held at the Nuffield hospital in Chester, who were helping the local NHS heroes in a dire time. I was somewhat apprehensive, but was very well looked after by the nurses and doctors there. I had fasted for hours. Then, I had to wait in a rather grand, clean white room, wearing my surgical gown.

Whilst waiting for the exam, I was entertained by music playing around the hospital ward. It was a mixture of classic pop, rock and disco, mostly from the Seventies, and I enjoyed every second. Tapping my fingers and singing along, I was relaxed and optimistic for the procedure. I was so happy, I made a mental note of as many songs as I could remember and created this playlist.

Here is the playlist, which I recommend to lighten your spirits in adverse moments!

  • ABBA – “Take a Chance on Me”
  • Rainbow – “Since You’ve Been Gone”
  • Toto – “Hold the Line”
  • Blondie – “One Way or Another”
  • Buggles – “Video Killed the Radio Star”
  • Rod Stewart – “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”
  • Yvonne Elliman – “If I Can’t Have You”
  • Bee Gees – “Jive Talkin'”
  • Stevie Wonder – “Superstition”
  • Wild Cherry – “Play That Funky Music”
  • Boston – “More Than a Feeling”
  • Kiss – “I Was Made for Loving You”
  • T-Rex – “Get It On”
  • The O’Jays – “Love Train”
  • Hues Corporation – “Rock the Boat”
  • Genesis – “Follow You, Follow Me”
  • Boney M – “Daddy Cool”
  • The Nolans – “I’m in the Mood for Dancing”

Those are all the songs I could remember (the gas they gave me may have blurred some of my memory). But what a great selection of songs! I’ll bet anyone would feel ecstatic with tunes like those to cheer you up.

One thing that made me laugh, was waiting for the doctor to visit me with a camera to go up the nether eye whilst “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” was blaring out. That song was so inappropriate I couldn’t help but chortle.

This blog was brought to you in association with the Viz Profanisaurus, a modern work of literary genius.