Wizard Rifle – Album Review

Time for another review I wrote for Ever Metal, which you can now read at the Virtual Hot Tub:

Wizard Rifle – Wizard Rifle

Svart Records

Release date: 30/08/2019

Running Time: 45 mins

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

 

Right, about time I got back to business with these album reviews for my pals at Ever Metal.  But how do you define the indefinable?  ‘Cos that’s basically the issue I’ve had with this review (not writer’s block, honest).  Comparing Wizard Rifle to other bands in myopic, lazy journo style just doesn’t seem to cut it with these guys.

There’s too much going on with Wizard Rifle’s self-titled album to accurately pin down a clumsy similarity to someone else.  It’s a mixture of loud, obnoxious metal, post rock, screamy hardcore punk and grungy sludge; with waves of psychedelic beauty tying it together.

Despite the unholy wall of noise that the band produce there are just two of them – guitarist/vocalist Max Dameron and drummer/vocalist Sam Ford.  That’s a hell of a racket for just two people.  They’re not short of ideas either, as the genre blending demonstrates.  Maybe that’s an advantage of just two minds, rather than several – Dameron and Ford display some ingenious telepathy weaving their creations together.

Loads of energy too – “Rocket to Hell” (great title) is a glorious, shouty opener, and “Caveman Waltz” is a possible contender for Riff of the Year.  It chugs like a drug fuelled locomotive trying to jump the Grand Canyon.

There are only five songs on this record, but as none of them are under seven minutes in length, there’s plenty of value for money.  The guys have learnt to expand a song and explore its possibilities in a way that keeps the ear engaged.  Like on the 12 minute epic “Funeral of the Sun”, which stretches out hypnotically but loses none of its heavy intensity.

Wizard Rifle are from the Portland, Oregon area – which as it’s the Pacific North West, must surely be Big Foot country.  So, I’m gonna coin a lazy journo phrase and label this sound Big Foot Rock.  Remember, you read it here first.  And yes, when this band are huge and Big Foot Rock takes over Western Civilization, I’ll be claiming the royalties for inventing that label.

Big Foot Rock T-shirt, sir?  That’ll be £19.99.  “Now That’s What I Call Bigfoot Rock, Vol 1” vinyl compilation?  Just £27.99.  Can I change a fifty?  Oh, keep the change?  Thank you very much.

The Wizard Rifle Facebook page is here.

You can find Wizard Rifle on Bandcamp here.

The Ever Metal website is here.

The Legend of Halloween Horror Fest 2019

The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

Prepare yourself, loyal reader – for one of the scariest, most horrifying films ever made.  A movie that can incite such fear that you will never stay in a log cabin – or trailer home – ever again.  What is this master piece of horror, you ask?  Why, it’s the classic known as The Legend of Boggy Creek!

Filmed in a semi-documentary style, The Legend of Boggy Creek investigates the strange case of a sasquatch type creature in Fouke, Arkansas.  Some local residents actually appear, recounting some of the creepy first hand experiences that they’ve had or heard about the Fouke Monster.

Contrasting visuals of the idyllic southern swampland with the threat of the unknown, waiting in the secluded creek – creates an unusual and gripping story.  Watching it, I felt the small town atmosphere and could imagine the loneliness of the locals – threatened by this mysterious creature.

I first saw The Legend of Boggy Creek when I was around nine years old, during a season of BBC2 “monster movies” that also featured King Kong and Mighty Joe Young.  Such was my fear that I had to change channel and watch something else.  I never saw the film all the way through till I tracked down a DVD copy some twenty years ago.

This movie still frightens the life out of me, even now.  There’s something about the isolated homes and strange, dark woods that still chills me to this day.

The final sequence of the creature menacing a local family in their remote house at night, is one of the most frightening things I’ve ever seen.

Of course, other viewers haven’t been so impressed.  Mrs Platinum Al considers this movie a load of old nonsense and not scary in the slightest.  Maybe I’m just reminded of being a terrified child when I watch The Legend of Boggy Creek now.

Whatever the cause, I know that this mysterious monster tale still has the power to absolutely chill me to the bone.  I wouldn’t watch it on my own at night, ever.  Not for any money.  Check out The Legend of Boggy Creek for yourself.  You’ll probably think it’s a hilariously cheap B-movie with no scares, too.

Or you might witness one of the most awesomely eerie, cult cinematic terrors ever.

10/10 for me

1/10 for Mrs Platinum Al

Halloween Horror Fest Hollow

Halloween is over, but as ever, I’m behind with reviewing the films I’ve watched this October.  So here we go…

Bigfoot Wars (2014)

Now I’m a big fan of Bigfoot movies.  The Legend of Boggy Creek is, in my book, a total classic.  So I was intrigued by Bigfoot Wars and definitely wasn’t put off by the obvious low budget, straight to video fest that I was letting myself in for. bigfoot

The story, in a nutshell, is this: a small town (named Boggy Creek, interestingly enough) has a problem with marauding Bigfoot abducting the local females.

Unfortunately it is all a bit cheap, at least as far as the script goes.  The sasquatch look pretty scary and manage to introduce a good dose of tension to the proceedings.  However the story is fairly lame and obvious, with rather poor acting and dialogue.  Some guy called C Thomas Howell is the token ex-big name slumming it; but his performance is unintelligible.

As a fan of Bigfoot movies, there was enough here for me to enjoy.  However I couldn’t really recommend Bigfoot Wars to anyone else.

5/10

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Tim Burton directed this version of the Washington Irving story, and it really is superb.  The design and cinematography are spell binding; the story rattles along at a great pace, and the cast is rammed with an unbelievable level of talent. Sleepy

Our old mate Johnny Depp plays Ichabod Crane, who in this version is a detective, sent to the remote town of Sleepy Hollow to investigate some hideous murders.  It appears that the locals are being decapitated by a  Headless Horseman, though why is a mystery.  Crane must use his rational, scientific sensibilities to put a stop to the carnage – though it appears that the events may be of supernatural origin after all…

Apparently this film is Tim Burton’s tribute to Hammer horror; it’s easy to see why with the scenes of stage coaches rolling through gloomy forests.  A cameo from the late, great Christopher Lee further exaggerates the point.  Lashings of blood also help to underscore the tribute to sixties horror.

Sleep Hollow is exceptionally well made – it looks incredible and the story is riveting.  Whilst the motivations are a little convoluted, it all comes together in the end.  Highly recommended for some blood thirsty thrills, and worthy of repeated viewings.

9/10