Tag Archives: tat trek

Tat Trek Update #5: Meerkat Meal Tray

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Let me start this post with an apology.  The “Tat” section of the blog, where I feature items of questionable taste that I have collected, has been severely neglected of late.  The last Tat article was in May 2015, and that was the only one that year.  It’s about time I made amends for this terrible oversight.

It’s not like I’m lacking in kitsch crap to showcase, there’s plenty.  So let’s start 2017 with a fresh effort to celebrate garbage – after all, it seems that the useless and ridiculous are all the rage right now.

Item: Meerkat Meal Tray

Description: a tray which supports a plate of food, with cushioned area underneath to rest on the users lap whilst eating a TV dinner.  Featuring a delightful picture of a group of meerkats. img_20170129_181552466

Cost: approx £7

Reason for buying: this item was actually bought by Mrs Platinum Al.  But as it’s in the house, I’m claiming it as an entry for Tat Trek.

Yes, not actually an item that I bought, but never the less, part of the scenery chez Platinum Al.  Seven quid is a bit steep for tat, even for me.  And it was from Charlie’s in Shotton, rather than Rhyl.

Even so, this fantastic item features one of the great tat icons of our age: the always popular meerkat.  For that reason, if not the fact that TV dinner trays are a bit naff, this item is proudly part of our Collection de Tat.

Tat Trek Update #4: Eric Bristow Mug

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In a secret underground facility near Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub can be found my Museum de Tat.  Regular readers will be aware of some of the wonders to be found here.  It’s time to visit once again…

This time I have an absolute classic, which has been in my possession for a long time.

Item: Eric Bristow “The Crafty Cockney” Mug

Description: a standard mug (drinking receptacle) bearing the image of darts playing legend, and “geezer” – Eric Bristow.  Emblazoned with Eric’s nom de guerre “The Crafty Cockney” and a dartboard (not shown) on the reverse. IMG_2793

Cost: Free (it was a gift).

Reason for buying: I didn’t buy it, it was a gift.

This fantastic item actually dates back to my time as a student.  Whilst collecting household items for my first student house (way back in the 1990’s), my Granddad donated a few pieces to help out.  All students have wacky novelty mugs, usually cartoon characters and the like.  None matched the sheer randomness of my Eric Bristow mug, however.  This cup became my standard – my symbol – amongst the student kitchen chaos.

An unusual item for someone who doesn’t drink hot beverages, perhaps.  Cool mug though, thanks to my Granddad!

If you own a tacky novelty mug, feel free to let me know about it.

The Ultimate in Tat

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There are many items in my collection of tat.  This particular one, however, is the absolute cream of the crop.  Or the absolute worst, depending on your point of view.  In my opinion, it is the tackiest and most tasteless thing I own.

Item: “Twat” Ash Tray IMG_2073

Description: ceramic ash tray, in white, with the word “TWAT” emblazoned on it.

Cost: £1

Bought at: Rhyl gift shop (are you seeing a pattern yet?)

Reason for buying: it’s in incredibly bad taste.

Yet again, mighty Rhyl stumps up the goods.  This foul mouthed creation – the least subtle item I’ve seen in a gift shop, ever – literally screams tat.  But with an extra “W” in there, too.

It was for sale in a gift shop – who on earth would buy this as a gift for someone whilst on holiday?  What were they thinking in the boardroom when the idea for this ash tray was put forward?

I have to admit, though – it does make me smile…

More Christmas Tat

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It’s Christmas Eve!  And here’s my personal Christmas present to you, loyal readers of the Virtual Hot Tub.  Yes, it’s more pictures of tacky Christmas decorations, this time from my home collection.  As time is now running out till the big day, I’ve combined several tat items into this one post, as a special seasonal treat just for you.

Father Christmas Ornament

No idea where this one came from – I think I rescued from somewhere I worked.  Quite a nice, detailed piece actually.  He’s pretty big.  Like a Christmassy garden gnome, but indoors. IMG_2711

Mini Light-up Santa Head

One pound from Poundstretcher in Mold.  He’s supposed to light up, but it doesn’t work.  Still pretty neat though. IMG_2714

Dancing Santa

This character once belonged to my Gran, if I remember correctly.  He’s been around for a long time, probably early 1980’s.  He looks a little evil – part dancing Santa, part mischievous elf.  Nice stick on beard. IMG_2719

Thanks to everyone for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  Merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas Tat

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Light-up Father Christmas

You can have a nice, colour co-ordinated Christmas tree with matching lights, baubles and tinsel.  You can can have tasteful decorations adorning your lovely home in minimalist style.  Or you can go bonkers and cover the place with tat!

Personally, I like a bit of tat at Christmas.  Probably no surprise there.  Here, for your visual amazement, is one of the coolest, yet cheap, Crimbo ornaments ever.  It was owned by my friend Nicky, and sat on her desk in work.  It’s a wax Father Christmas candle, which also has a light up feature inside.

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Light-up Father Christmas, centre. Desk top tree and Oogey-Boogey along for the ride.

Apparently this was really cheap (£1?), and came from a Christmas bargain shop in Wrexham.  I think it’s awesome.  I would love to own one, for two reasons.  Firstly, it’s quite a well crafted likeness and fairly detailed.  Secondly, it’s tacky as hell.  A candle that lights up from the inside as well?  Beyond pointless.

Light up Santa is a really nice bit of tat, though now he’s apparently been lost in an office move.  If you ever see one of these on your travels, readers, please buy a couple.  One for yourself, and one for me.  I promise I’ll pay you back.

More Christmas tat very soon…

Tat Trek Update #3: Elvis Beach Towel

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It’s been a while since I last updated the Virtual Hot Tub.  And a while longer since we had a Tat Update.  This one’s a stormer.

Item: “Elvisly Yours” Beach Towel

IMG_2374

Elvis beach towel on location

Description: a standard beach towel bearing the image of the King himself, Elvis Presley – in the full on white jumpsuit.

Cost = approx £5.

Bought at: Rhyl, of course.

Reason for buying: I wanted a beach towel, and this one’s got Elvis on it.

In the temple of tat, there are two kings: the big Mr J Christ and our other good buddy, the one and only King of Rock’n’Roll – Elvis Presley.  Any item with the image of Elvis on automatically attains cool status, as far as I’m concerned.

This piece is both fun and functional – I used it on my recent summer holiday to Greece.  And yes, I am a fan of the King (though I prefer Johnny Cash if I had to choose).  I just can’t help believin’ that this is a great item for the Tat collection.

What do you think of this item? Don’t be cruel – leave a comment and let me know!

Tat Trek Update #2

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Time for some more tat from the archives.  Here’s a real gem for you.

IMG_0281Item: Mr T Piggy Bank

Description: Ceramic model of the A-Team misery guts, designed to save your coins.

Cost = can’t remember, but only about £1.

Bought at: Charity shop in Chester many years ago.

Reason for buying: It’s a fairly accurate rendition of B.A Baracus, well made and makes a nice ornament.  And I love The A-Team.

Mr T stands about 16cm tall, and is quite striking with the gold colouring.  This piece has often proved very desirable, with one of my friends making me promise to leave him this item in my will.  I think he was joking.

Sheer tat or 1980’s retro chic?  It’s bad, but it’s so cool too.  And no, I’ve never taken him on a plane.

Yet.