Tag Archives: Christmas

Christmas Tat 2022

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This year has been sadly tat free, I’m afraid. The tat reserves appear to have run dry. Never mind, I pledge to you all now, that I’ll try harder to showcase more items of dubious quality in 2023.

For the moment, a couple of last minute additions to the Christmas bauble (or “ball ball”) collection. I wanted to get the hippo in a tutu from Asda, but it sold out. So instead, I present to you: a Christmas Barbecue and some Sushi.

BBQ
Sushi

I’ve pondered the joys of these kind of strange “festive” decorations in the past. This year, I’ll leave it you you, readers, to consider the relevance of these wondrous items to the season. I just hope you enjoy.

Finally, I’d like to wish all of the readers of Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub a very Merry Christmas, and a happy and prosperous New Year. Thank you for reading and keeping the dream alive.

Christmas Tat 2021

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In the continuing tradition of sharing some tacky Christmas baubles, here’s the single addition for 2021. Yes, just one new acquisition for the tree this year – I’ve really not seen as much silly, tacky nonsense on my limited travels recently. But fret not, this one’s a beauty!

Here we have a Christmas dinosaur: a bright blue triceratops adorned with sequins and jewels. What could be more festive than a dinosaur? Unless you’re an evolution denier, of course.

Whatever, I hope you like this latest addition to the Virtual Hot Tub Christmas tree.

Christmas dinosaur ball ball

And I’d also like to thank all the readers of my blog, the legendary Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for your continued support. Please keep reading and let me know what you want to see in the year ahead.

Merry Christmas to all, and a wonderful New Year!

Christmas Tat 2020

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More bad taste baubles for your entertainment! Last year I displayed some of the wonderfully strange and tacky Christmas tree baubles that I’ve acquired. They can be found hanging from the branches of our festive tree. As I’ve added a couple more to the collection, I thought I’d share them here. for your enjoyment.

Now, something that has distressed me this year, whilst perusing the delights of Twitter, is people referring to these decorations as “ball balls” or even “baule baules”. I know, disgraceful isn’t it? No wonder we’re in the mess we’re in.

Anyway, I hope you like these ball balls, may they bring some yuletide cheer to what is a tough situation for us all.

Below you will see:

  1. A gherkin wearing a Christmas hat (or a pickle wearing a Christmas hat, if you prefer)
  2. A robot (note the clear plastic space helmet he’s wearing, just about visible)

And with that, all I can say is Merry Christmas to all of my readers. Enjoy this festive tat, and keep coming back to Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for more fun next year!

Christmas Tat 2019

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And now for a visual feast of festive tat.  A collection of the odd and the bizarre, rendered in cheap plastic (or glass if you’re lucky).

You may have noticed that certain stores sell “wacky” Christmas baubles, gloriously garish and ridiculously random.  Not the traditional seasonal balls here – we’ve wandered into distinctly abstract territory.

Whilst the groovy shops sell the strange tree trinkets for a tenner, other, less glamorous emporiums are knocking them out for a couple of quid.  And bless ’em, these cheapo ones are usually even more ugly and weird.

Which is where I come in.  As a genuine aficionado of the kitsch Christmas, I have collected some of these decorations from various sources.  They are proudly displayed on our Christmas tree, and here I present them to you for your entertainment.

Enjoy these bad taste baubles, dear reader, and be inspired by the wondrous world of tat.

In the photos below you will see:

  • A taco
  • A guitar
  • A cupcake
  • Santa with a surfboard
  • A pizza slice
  • Some beer
  • Peppers and an ice cream
  • Another taco
  • A VW Beetle
  • A crown and a strawberry
  • A VW camper van with a Christmas tree
  • A crocodile in a UFO (my personal favourite)

 

I want a tattoo of the crocodile in a UFO – spectacular.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed that trip into the low quality and down right strange.

I would like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas!  Thank you for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, your support is always appreciated.

Christmas Playlist

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Nothing gets me in the festive spirit like a few classic Christmas songs, or indeed, a bit of seasonal strangeness – as in this playlist.  A bit of alcohol helps too, mind.

I’ve already covered my Top Ten Christmas songs, and this playlist isn’t just run down of all the usual Crimbo staples.  This list is more complicated, idiosyncratic, and pointless than that.

Within my music collection are several Christmas songs, of varying fame, often collected together on themed compilations.

This list pulls together the songs that aren’t on those compilations, as well as some of the standards that do, but for one reason or another have found themselves bundled in with this bunch of misfits.

For example, there are several tunes that are always part of any respectable Christmas collection, but can also be found bunged onto Greatest Hits albums.  Songs like the wonderful Slade song “Merry Xmas Everybody”: it’s on all the comps, but I selected my copy from the Slade Best Of to group together with similar songs.  Shaky, The Pogues and John Lennon are other examples of this type.

Then there are the album Crimbo album tracks that are hidden away on band’s regular studio albums, such as the Ramones track (see also: AC/DC, Joan Jett).  They’re not going to crop up on a Now Christmas comp, so I added them here.

Plus, there are various songs from singles (the Darkness track) and a few of dubious seasonal pedigree…

Here’s my Christmas Odds and Sods playlist.  Enjoy!

  1. Slade – “Merry Xmas Everybody”
  2. Shakin’ Stevens – “Merry Christmas Everyone”
  3. The Pogues (with Kirsty MacColl – “Fairytale of New York”
  4. John Lennon – “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”
  5. Queen – “Thank God it’s Christmas”
  6. Ramones – “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)”
  7. AC/DC – “Mistress for Christmas”
  8. The Beatles – “Christmas Time (Is Here Again)
  9. The Darkness – “Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)
  10. Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews – “Baby It’s Cold Outside”
  11. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts – “Little Drummer Boy”
  12. Boney M – “Mary’s Boy Child”
  13. Christopher Lee – “Silent Night”
  14. Bad News – “Cashing in on Christmas”
  15. Roy Orbison – “Pretty Paper”
  16. The Sensational Alex Harvey Band – “There’s No Light on the Christmas Tree Mama They’re Burning Big Louie Tonight”
  17. The Damned – “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause”
  18. Emmy the Great & Tim Wheeler – “Home for the Holidays”
  19. Monster Magnet – “Dead Christmas”
  20. UK Subs – “Hey Santa”
  21. Black Stone Cherry – “Santa Claus is Back in Town”
  22. Christopher Lee – “Little Drummer Boy”
  23. Queen – “A Winter’s Tale”

Merry Christmas all!

My Top 10 Christmas Songs

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I’ve chickened out of writing this list for a long time.  That’s because there are so many great Christmas songs, that it’s a real struggle to narrow it down to just 10.  There are a few songs that simply have to be on the list, but I cringe thinking about those that didn’t make the it.

But I’ve been really ruthless, and narrowed it down to ten classic Christmas tunes that I love:

10. The Waitresses – “Christmas Wrapping”

A great, funky little pop number that always gets me dancing in the aisles doing my Christmas shopping.  I know nothing about this group other than this song, but this is sheer class.

9. Ramones – “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)”

The Ramones hark back to their 70’s glam rock influences with this festive banger.  It’s great to have a really influential, cool band in the top 10 (much better than Wham! for example).

8. Showaddywaddy – “Hey Mr Christmas”

This Showaddywaddy song is criminally unknown these days.  It really is a classic bit of 70’s stomping/clapping/singalong fun.  Do yourself a favour and rediscover this gem now!

7. Dean Martin – “”I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”

There are loads of awesome Christmas tunes from the master, Dean Martin (Baby It’s Cold Outside, Let It Snow!…, etc).  But this track is my top pick from Deano, if only for the wonderfully uplifting instrumental introduction.  You can argue if this tune is actually a Christmas song or not, but it’s on the indispensable “Ultra Lounge Christmas Cocktails” album, so I’m claiming it.

6. Wizzard –  “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”

Another glam rock 70’s nugget.  Absolutely essential.  It seems like I’ve heard this song all my life – I probably have – and it never gets boring.  Christmas magic!

5. The Crystals – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Timeless stuff from the wonderful “A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector” album.  You’ve heard this song on film soundtracks, everywhere – it instantly conjures up a vivid feeling of Christmas nostalgia.  Superb.

4. Darlene Love – “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

Another track from the Phil Spector record (if you don’t own it, get it.  You need it).  The fantastic intro and Wall of Sound production are just perfect.  Sends a Christmassy shiver down your spine every time.

3. The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – “Fairytale of New York”

Nowadays it’s as traditional as Christmas pud.  “Fairytale of New York” has grown on me massively over the years – it’s now an essential part of the festivities.

2. Shakin’ Stevens – “Merry Christmas Everyone”

Instantly recognisable, the Welsh Elvis rocks out a total seasonal masterpiece.  Newsflash: Shaky is, was, and always will be COOL.  This song is crucial for any Crimbo fun.

So what’s number one in my festive all time top ten?  It can only be…

1. Slade – “Merry Christmas Everybody”

Forget the Coca Cola truck, the official start of the Christmas (not “holiday”) season is when you first hear Noddy bellow “It’s Chriiisstmaaaaasss!”  In the 1970’s, Christmas was great.  This is the sound of every family get together from then and ever since.  Unbeatable.

There you go – my Top 10 Christmas songs.  I may need to re-visit this next year, maybe do a top 20 – just to cover off a few of the great songs that didn’t make this list.

Though there’s no way that East fucking 17 will ever get in here.

Merry Christmas to all my readers! 

New Year Resolutions

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Another year, another chill sesh in the Virtual Hot Tub!

It’s customary at this time of year to make resolutions, usually as we regret the binging over Christmas and promise not to be so greedy in future.  Fair enough, I feel that pain.  And I applaud anyone who wants to make a change for the better.

I do have a small problem with resolutions being so very negative, however.  It’s all “I must not do this” and “no to that”, and so on.  I think it’s much better to have a positive outlook on these things.  So instead of “I’m not eating junk food”, try “I’m going to eat healthier”.  Or “I’m going to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink”, rather than “I’m not drinking at all”.  Make your resolutions a goal, rather than a restriction.

This way, any minor relapses can be balanced out, rather than becoming a failure and evolving into an excuse to fall back into old, unhealthy ways.

But then, don’t take too much notice of Platinum Al – I’m not giving up anything!  Why would you, with your own Virtual Hot Tub and Tiki Bar??!

I am, however, intending to do the following this year:

  1. Play music.  I listen to music all the time, constantly doing my music homework.  I think it’s about time I actually played some music though.  There’s a guitar and bass in the garage that haven’t been touched for years.  Maybe it’s time to start playing a little.  Practice a few tunes.  I might even start a band!!!
  2. Skateboard more.  In 2014 I was rolling a hell of a lot more than the past few years.  But let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger.  I need to skate as much as I can while I can.  So whether I’m doing tricks or just cruising on the longboard, I intend to get out and skate.  Weather permitting.
  3. Buy some more hats.  Top of the list are a bowler hat; a sea captain’s hat and a Native American head dress.  I like hats.

So there you go – let’s see how those little goals I’ve set develop over the coming months.

Thanks again to all who read, follow and contribute to Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  I really do appreciate it!  Your comments and feedback make it all worthwhile.  So stick with me, there’s lots to come in 2015.  All the usual garbage you’d expect, plus possibly a few new areas too…

Here’s to a happy and prosperous 2015 – have a blast, everyone!

Christmas Tat 2014

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The tree is up, the lights are on and the smell of mulled wine wafts through from the kitchen.  Yes, it’s that time of year again, the most tatty time of the year – Christmas!

No offence meant by that comment, kids – I love Christmas.  And I do take immense joy from the gaudy glitter and paraphernalia that we readily decorate our homes with.  No other time of year sees as much tacky nonsense around the house, and I think it’s great.

Here are a couple of items that have been picked up to add to our collection of Yuletide tat.

Santa

First up, a small ceramic light up Santa.  I picked this up from a local pound shop (my new favourite place!) for just £1.  Unbelievable value.  A flick of the switch underneath sets off the multi coloured lights within.  He’s a jolly little fellow and no mistake, a great little item.

xmas2

Next we have a Nativity scene, which I bought from B&M for £3.99.  Now again, I’ll reiterate that no offence is meant by this piece being in the “tat” section.  I happen to think this is a really nice festive decoration.  It was only cheap, which is reflected in the lacklustre paint job.  But if displayed well this scene looks great.

Hope you like these Crimbo decorations.  Have a great Christmas, and thanks for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.

Stay tuned for more cool stuff in the New Year!

More Christmas Tat

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It’s Christmas Eve!  And here’s my personal Christmas present to you, loyal readers of the Virtual Hot Tub.  Yes, it’s more pictures of tacky Christmas decorations, this time from my home collection.  As time is now running out till the big day, I’ve combined several tat items into this one post, as a special seasonal treat just for you.

Father Christmas Ornament

No idea where this one came from – I think I rescued from somewhere I worked.  Quite a nice, detailed piece actually.  He’s pretty big.  Like a Christmassy garden gnome, but indoors. IMG_2711

Mini Light-up Santa Head

One pound from Poundstretcher in Mold.  He’s supposed to light up, but it doesn’t work.  Still pretty neat though. IMG_2714

Dancing Santa

This character once belonged to my Gran, if I remember correctly.  He’s been around for a long time, probably early 1980’s.  He looks a little evil – part dancing Santa, part mischievous elf.  Nice stick on beard. IMG_2719

Thanks to everyone for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  Merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas Drink of the Week

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Chocolate Smarties

Also known as “Chocolate Orange” or “Christmas Smarties”, for some reason this great drink has become linked to the festive season for me.  I can’t remember now how I was first introduced to this tipple (if it was you, and you’re reading this, please remind me); but I’m sure you’ll love it if you try it.

Basically, what we have here is an alcoholic drink that tastes like chocolate orange.  If for some reason that doesn’t entice you, give this a go anyway – you may be pleasantly surprised. IMG_2721

Chocolate Smarties

  • Tia Maria
  • Orange juice
  • Ice

Take a standard tumbler (the glass in the picture is a typical pub half pint glass).  Pour in two measures of Tia Maria.  Add a few ice cubes, then top up with fresh orange juice (the carton type or some good old Britvic).  Enjoy!

Play around with the measure to get a taste you prefer.  You may like a single measure of Tia Maria, you may want more or less orange juice.  Feel free to experiment till you get the desired flavour.

Soundtrack: “Merry Christmas Everybody” – Slade.