Tat Trek Update #2

Posted on June 6, 2013 by platinumal

Time for some more tat from the archives. Here’s a real gem for you.

Item: Mr T Piggy Bank

Description: Ceramic model of the A-Team misery guts, designed to save your coins.

Cost = can’t remember, but only about £1.

Bought at: Charity shop in Chester many years ago.

Reason for buying: It’s a fairly accurate rendition of B.A Baracus, well made and makes a nice ornament. And I love The A-Team.

Mr T stands about 16cm tall, and is quite striking with the gold colouring. This piece has often proved very desirable, with one of my friends making me promise to leave him this item in my will. I think he was joking.

Sheer tat or 1980’s retro chic? It’s bad, but it’s so cool too. And no, I’ve never taken him on a plane.

Yet.

Questions #2: Full English Breakfast Ingredients

Posted on June 4, 2013 by platinumal

Except it’s not a “full” English breakfast. You only get to pick four items, not everything.

Remember recently we asked what five ingredients would you pick for a roast dinner? This time we asked for colleagues favourite four items for a cooked breakfast. Here are the answers from the team.

Q: What would be your ideal four ingredients for a cooked breakfast?

Woody

Bacon
Sausage
Fried egg
Baked beans

Wolfie

Black pudding
Hash Brown
Baked beans
Bacon (cooked properly!)

Jack

Bacon
Sausage
Toast
Baked Beans

Dan Webster

Black Pudding
Hash brown
Baked beans
Sausage

Mark D

Kippers
Black pudding
Crispy bacon
Poached egg

Joe

Sausage
Bacon
Hash brown
Baked beans

Terry

Egg
Sausage
Bacon
Toast

Ben

Fried egg
Bacon
Hash brown
Black pudding

Jayne

Beans
Hash brown
Sausage
Bacon

Stu

Sausage
Bacon
Fried egg
Baked beans

Ashley

Black pudding
Hash brown
Baked beans
Bacon

Sausage
Black pudding
Baked beans
Hash brown

Does anyone want to collect this data and create a graph?!

Please feel free to add your chosen four items by replying below. Any other suggestions for questions? Let me know.

Random Bike Ride Playlist #3

Posted on May 30, 2013 by platinumal

Monday’s bike ride – a bit late but never mind. Sixteen miles.

Roxy Music – “In Every Dream Home a Heartache”
Syd Dale – “Come One Come All”
Vince Dicola – “Training Montage”
D.R.I. – “Suit and Tie Guy”
Hanna-Barbera – “Yogi Bear (Main Title)”
Oakenfold – “The Way I Feel”
Neil Young – “Tell Me Why”
LL Cool J – “Illegal Search”
N.W.A. – “Cash Money (Insert)”
Luke ft The 2 Live Crew – “In Colour-Men on Records”
Smut Peddlers – “Let’s Get Fucked Up”
The Company Band – “Lethe Waters”
Neil Young – “Revolution Blues”
UK Subs – “Limo Life”
Clutch – “WYSIWYG”
Black Label Society – “Blood is Thicker Than Water”
Duffy – “Stepping Stone”
The Cardigans – “Marvel Hill”
T.S.O.L. – “Waiting For You”
Elton John – “The Bitch is Back”
Roy Orbison – “She’s a Mystery to Me”
Alice Cooper – “Pretty Ballerina”
Flipper – “Sex Bomb”
Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – “Monkberry Moon”
The Stupids – “Sorry, It Blew My Head”
John Zacherle – “Coolest Little Monster”
The Damned – “Sugar and Spite”
Johnny Cash – “White Girl”
Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster – “Man For All Seasons”

Ultimate Banana Milkshake

Posted on May 29, 2013 by platinumal

Back in the Virtual Hot Tub with a new drink recipe. This one’s a non alcoholic concoction that’s quick and easy to put together. I like to have one of these for breakfast. It’s a basic but fun milkshake that only requires a blender to make it happen. No real skill required!

Ultimate Banana Milkshake

700 ml Milk
2 Bananas
Sugar
Chocolate cream (squirty variety)

Peel your two bananas and put them in the blender. Next, add 700ml of the milk and a teaspoon of sugar. Hit the “blend” button and watch as everything gets mushed up (don’t forget to put the lid on!). That’s my favourite part.

When ready, pour out a glass of your milkshake, leaving some room at the top. Take your can of squirty cream and squeeze a large topping of chocolate on top (this last part is optional).

700ml of milk will make a lot of milkshake – you might want to share (or just be greedy like me, and have all of it).

Why the United Kingdom doesn’t win Eurovision

Posted on May 18, 2013 by platinumal

A short opinion piece concerning the UK’s lack of success in the international song contest

The Eurovision song contest – that cacophony of the beautiful, the unusual, and the downright bizarre. Where reactions go from “This is pleasant,” to “What just happened? Did I really hear that?” in the space of a few minutes. Sometimes in the same song. It’s all in the name of entertainment, and often the strange moments are the best.

The United Kingdom has had it’s share of winners over the years, and in contrast to most people’s opinion has been very successful. These days, however, we constantly hear the public decrying the contest and complaining about the mutual voting of sympathetic countries. “That’s why we don’t win anymore,” the voices say, “all those countries voting for each other.”

Other reasons commonly championed as to why the UK hasn’t been successful include “No-one in Europe likes us”; and theories about the change in rules regarding singing in the national language.

So how is it possible that the nation that gave the world The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Bowie, the Clash (and on and on) – don’t win this contest hands down every year?

It’s because we don’t take it seriously.

I don’t mean we don’t take it seriously in a tongue-in-cheek, this is crap but what the hell post modern kind of way. That’s fine. Be ironic, have a laugh at the strange sounds and mangling of English phrases – that’s part of the fun.

No, by not taking it seriously I refer to the artists above. We don’t win Eurovision because every year the rest of Europe wants to see the UK field a superstar. A living legend like Bowie or Sir Paul, to lend their talents to the Greatest Music Competition in the World. They want to see some of the musical geniuses that have sprung from these shores show the rest of Europe what pop music is all about.

We know that’s never going to happen. Great fun as Eurovision is, it doesn’t have the cultural importance to tempt the like of Elton or Mick Jagger. Not going to happen.

But just imagine if we did? Imagine, if you will, a gleaming supergroup with Brian May on guitar, Roger Taylor on drums, Sir Paul on bass. Elt on the old joanna, and vocals from some one like Jessie J, or Adele, or Tom Jones. That’s what Europe want to see, and that’s what we need to win.

There was a rumour a few years ago (and I think it was just a rumour), of Morrissey being the United Kingdom’s entry for Eurovision. Now I’m no Morrissey fan, but maybe that would do the job? In the meantime, we have Bonnie Tyler to represent the country this year. A woman with considerable fame and success across Europe, not to mention her undoubted talent. Let’s see if she can do it.

Whoever wins, ignore the nay sayers and the whingers who complain because the UK doesn’t win. Enjoy the fun and the spectacle, whoever the winner is.

Platinum Al’s Platinum Artists

Posted on May 15, 2013 by platinumal

There are over 23,000 songs in my iTunes library. Hundreds of artists across numerous genres. But which artists have contributed the most to my music collection? I’ve reviewed all of them and compiled a list of which artists I have the most songs by. Some may surprise you.

The list below comprises the twenty artists with the most number of songs in my music collection at the moment. The list grows all the time. I should point out that this isn’t a list of my favourite artists in order, just a list of who’s music I have the most of.

All duplicate tracks (for example, a hit single appearing on an album and a Greatest Hits compilation) have been removed. Also extended versions, remixes and so on are usually not in my library anyway – with a few exceptions. And I generally don’t collect live albums – again with one or two exceptions – so duplicates of this type don’t generally figure in this list, unless there’s a particular reason for them to be here. In many cases, there are more tracks to be added for these Top 20 artists.

Here they are:

Top 20 Bands with the Most Songs in my Collection

20. Clutch – 128 songs

A massive contribution from this fine Maryland band, with only one track duplicated (an alternative, acoustic version of “Motherless Child”). This doesn’t include their great new album “Earth Rocker”, which isn’t added yet.

19. Danzig – 130 songs

The mighty Danzig makes a respectable appearance at number 19, thanks to a complete collection of studio albums and a helping hand from the “Lost Tracks of Danzig” compilation. This figure does not include any Misfits or Samhain tracks either, as I’ve classed them in this case as separate entities. Otherwise Glenn would be even higher up the list.

18. David Bowie – 133 songs

Spanning most of Dave’s career, but still with quite a few albums missing from my collection – so this number could increase.

17. Hawkwind – 148 songs

Admittedly, this figure does include live tracks – but then “Space Ritual” is such an integral part of the bands persona it has to be included. Still many, many more albums to collect though.

16. The Beach Boys – 149 songs

What a band. I’ve loved the Beach Boys for so long. There are so many great album tracks beside the obvious hits, everyone should investigate them further. I still have at least three albums to add here though, so a Top Ten position could be on the way in future updates.

15. AC/DC – 153 songs

All the albums, no live tracks – surprising though that there isn’t more from the mighty AC/DC. Several of their albums also appear in my “Greatest of All Time” list, no doubt coming soon…

14. Red Hot Chili Peppers – 154 songs

One of the best bands ever. Not just one of the best alternative bands, or one of the best funk rock (ugghh) bands – one of THE best bands ever. I’m surprised they don’t come in higher on this list, however, given the massive amount of work they’ve produced. Their best album? A debate for another time. But it’s “Mother’s Milk”. No, “BloodSugarSexMagic”. No, “Mother’s…”, ah, we’ll see.

13. Metallica – 159 songs

Now this number does include the live album “S & M”, though as those tracks are accompanied by an orchestra (and therefore sufficiently different) I decided to include them. Also includes their totally mental collaboration with Lou Reed – which everyone hates except me.

12. The Damned – 163 songs

Ah, The Damned. Probably my most favourite band ever, this number includes all the albums, plus compilations of B-sides etc, from “Damned Damned Damned” to “So Who’s Paranoid”. But remember, no duplicates – so for example “New Rose” only appears once (on the original album) – reappearances on the (many) compilations have been discounted.

11. The Rolling Stones – 165 songs

Only 165 songs? Clearly, I have some work to do here. There must be another 30 or so albums to get. This includes all the greats though. And the debate over their best songs and albums will be tackled in a future post.

And now the Top Ten…

10. Iggy Pop – 177 songs

A fantastic, under rated musician. Not nearly well known or respected enough these days. This number includes all the Stooges albums, as I decided that to exclude them would deprive a historical view of Iggy of some important milestones. Iggy rocks.

9. Beastie Boys – 183 songs

You’re surprised that the Beasties have recorded so much? Don’t be. And the quality is excellent throughout. Includes all of their forays into different musical genres, such as the fantastic “In Sound From Way Out” album.

8. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds – 185 songs

I still have a few albums to collect from Nick Cave. The 185 songs includes the three disc “B-sides and Rarities” album, but no Birthday Party, Grinderman or film soundtracks. Maybe I’ll add those to a future update. Amazing music.

7. Queen – 191 songs

“Greatest Hits I and II” is not enough. You need the studio albums for some of the outstanding lesser known compositions. More on this in a later post. No live tracks included.

6. Ramones – 199 songs

There are just a couple of bonus tracks from “End of the Century” I don’t have. No live tracks included. I’ve loved this band ever since my English teacher played “Go Mental” in class.

5. Alice Cooper – 204 songs

Often maligned as a cock-rock Metal caricature, many miss the impact that Alice has had on rock, punk and alternative music. Pay this man some respect. NOW. Still loads of albums I don’t own, but I’m working on it.

4. The Beatles – 207 songs

I was surprised I had this many tunes by The Beatles, but what a band. Beyond compare, and I’m happy to see them up near the top of the list. This number doesn’t include my Mum’s original 7 inch singles, of course.

3. Motorhead – 221 songs

How many albums have Motorhead made now? Not enough. Recent output has been just as great as the early years. Still got two or three albums I need to get though, unbelievably.

2. Melvins – 282 songs

I love this band. 282 songs, including collaborations with Jello Biafra and others. Doesn’t include the new record “Everybody Loves Sausages” (yet), and still quite a few albums (not just single tracks!) I need to track down.

So which recording artist has the most songs that I own? Who could possibly top that list? Only one man…

1. Johnny Cash – 330 songs

That number doesn’t include the Christmas album or a new three disc set I picked up recently. A duets album with June Carter Cash is in there, however. And the two live albums “At Folsom Prison” and “At San Quentin” – as they’re both indispensable. I am a huge fan of Johnny Cash, and thankfully there’s still loads of his music out there for me to discover.

Johnny Cash is my hero.

Any thoughts? Disagree with any of the above criteria? Leave a comment.

Random Bike Ride Playlist #2

Posted on May 12, 2013 by platinumal

Nine and a half miles, twenty songs.

Love – “Alone Again Or”
Nina Simone – “Nobody Knows You When You’re Down and Out”
Sugar – “Man on the Moon”
Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – “Running Scared”
Ash – “Out of the Blue”
The Besnard Lakes – “Albatross”
Pink Floyd – “Have a Cigar”
Rush – “Tom Sawyer”
Jimi Hendrix Experience – “She’s So Fine”
Roxy Music – “Ain’t That So”
Tad – “Tool Marks”
Rolling Stones – “On With the Show”
The Saturdays – “Vulnerable”
Steppenwolf – “None of Your Doing”
Joe Walsh – “Walk Away”
Curtis Mayfield – “Freddie’s Dead”
Richard Cheese – “Guerilla Radio”
Iggy Pop – “It’s All Shit”
Led Zeppelin – “Living Loving Maid”
The Donnas – “5 O’Clock in the Morning”

Tat Trek Update #1

Posted on May 10, 2013 by platinumal

The gauntlet of the Tat Trek Challenge has been well and truly thrown. Here’s a quick update from my friend Nicky Carr who found the monstrosity below:

Item: Libra Star Sign Seashell
Description: A shell that looks leopard print with Libra painted on with the star sign that resembles a woman’s vagina haha.
Cost = 1 quid.
Bought at: Can’t remember name of shop but it was in Conwy and was full of pure tat such as bottled sand, kids tacky toys, magnets, key-rings, 3d bookmarks and Welsh dolls (One of the welsh dolls looked freaky wish I had bought but it was 5.99 and I couldn’t justify it. Unfortunately battery was dead so couldn’t get a pic. Bought the shell as was within the 1 quid budget and was worthy of tat trek challenge
Reason for buying: Tat trek challenge.

Have you acquired any tat lately? If you have a piece of tat lying around your house, get a photo and description (as above) to me as soon as you can!

Tat Trek

Posted on April 28, 2013 by platinumal

I love Rhyl. Great place. The amount of stuff I’ve collected there over the years is amazing. CDs, DVDs, skateboards, Star Wars figures, comics, books, t-shirts – the list goes on and on. There is, however, one thing about Rhyl that is truly beyond compare. And that is the phenomenal amount of tat that you can find.

From traditional seaside nik naks to whatever junk is “on trend” at the time, Rhyl is the place to find it. So back in 2010, me and my buddies Adam, Greeny and (Greeny’s son) Kurt set out on a challenge:

With a budget of just £3, buy the worst tat you can find. Anything, the choice is yours – but make sure it’s tasteless, useless and practically worthless. This is what we found. Most items were a pound each.

Ricki Boy doll

What is this? Some kind of fashion doll, apparently. Whatever that is. Nice shirt and pants combo. This was found in one of the many glorious pound shop type places.

Little Wizard

Quite often you will find pirate versions of popular toys, cashing in on whatever is popular. Here we have an example of a Harry Potter cash-in, with a ginger Potter-a-like “lovingly” executed in plastic.

Meerkat mug

See what I mean about cashing in on popularity? Ages before that financial comparison site figured out it could shift tons of units by flogging meerkats thanks to the popularity of its adverts, Rhyl was already churning out meerkat themed memorabilia of a thousand different varieties. Here we have a meerkat mug, though we could’ve chosen meerkat figurines, dolls, badges, garden ornaments, pencil tops and any number of other items. I also love that this says “I love meerkat” and not “meerkats”. Is that a reference to the advert characters accent or just bad grammar? You decide.

Poodle Tax Disc holder

Indeed.

Rhyl fridge magnet

I actually like this. I honestly do love Rhyl. An ideal souvenir of a trip to the seaside.

Doll

A mini ornamental doll. Again, just a pound. Apologies to any of my relatives who get this stuff from me for Christmas.

Light-up Crucifix

Pseudo religious stuff is a constant seller in the seaside tat shop. This is a plastic cross that lights up. Quite pretty actually. I also have a Jesus fridge magnet somewhere.

…And the winner is:

“Funny Clowns” doll

This monstrosity was found in the back of an old shop, covered in dust. Probably been there since 1985. It’s frightening whether you have a fear of clowns or not. The price? Just £1. We decided that this was the worst piece of tat found on the day. Let me know if you agree.

It’s been too long since we did our Tat Trek. Hopefully a return mission will be on the cards very soon. Either way, I’m sure I’ll be back bargain hunting in Rhyl before long.

Hope you like these items. There are loads more and I’ll post them in later blogs. Please leave a comment if you like. And I apologise if you have nightmares.

Questions #1: Roast Dinner Ingredients

Posted on April 21, 2013 by platinumal

Occasionally, in work, we have Questions. A question will be posed by one member of the group, the rest of the group take their turn to provide an answer. This often encourages stimulating conversation as each individual’s opinion is thrown into the mix, enlightening their colleagues and giving an insight into their mind. It also distracts people from fiddling about with their phones for five minutes and enables some social interaction.

I won’t pretend that we debate the deepest philosophical topics, but asking a question does give some food for thought. In this case, literally. Here’s a question from this week:

Q: What would be your ideal five ingredients for a roast dinner?

You can pick five items, no more.

Now I hate roast dinners with a passion. A roast dinner (or Sunday Roast, if you will) is bland, boring food for a dull, miserable rainy day. Tasteless and uninspiring. Why bother when you could have Mexican, Indian, or Thai food? There’s just no need in the 21st Century to eat this stuff.

I will return to how much I detest roast dinners in another post. For now though, I entered into the spirit of things and gave my answer. It wasn’t easy. Here are the items picked by my friends for their ideal, yet limited, roast dinner.