Tag Archives: tat

Tat Trek Update #5: Meerkat Meal Tray

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Let me start this post with an apology.  The “Tat” section of the blog, where I feature items of questionable taste that I have collected, has been severely neglected of late.  The last Tat article was in May 2015, and that was the only one that year.  It’s about time I made amends for this terrible oversight.

It’s not like I’m lacking in kitsch crap to showcase, there’s plenty.  So let’s start 2017 with a fresh effort to celebrate garbage – after all, it seems that the useless and ridiculous are all the rage right now.

Item: Meerkat Meal Tray

Description: a tray which supports a plate of food, with cushioned area underneath to rest on the users lap whilst eating a TV dinner.  Featuring a delightful picture of a group of meerkats. img_20170129_181552466

Cost: approx £7

Reason for buying: this item was actually bought by Mrs Platinum Al.  But as it’s in the house, I’m claiming it as an entry for Tat Trek.

Yes, not actually an item that I bought, but never the less, part of the scenery chez Platinum Al.  Seven quid is a bit steep for tat, even for me.  And it was from Charlie’s in Shotton, rather than Rhyl.

Even so, this fantastic item features one of the great tat icons of our age: the always popular meerkat.  For that reason, if not the fact that TV dinner trays are a bit naff, this item is proudly part of our Collection de Tat.

Tat Trek Update #4: Eric Bristow Mug

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In a secret underground facility near Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub can be found my Museum de Tat.  Regular readers will be aware of some of the wonders to be found here.  It’s time to visit once again…

This time I have an absolute classic, which has been in my possession for a long time.

Item: Eric Bristow “The Crafty Cockney” Mug

Description: a standard mug (drinking receptacle) bearing the image of darts playing legend, and “geezer” – Eric Bristow.  Emblazoned with Eric’s nom de guerre “The Crafty Cockney” and a dartboard (not shown) on the reverse. IMG_2793

Cost: Free (it was a gift).

Reason for buying: I didn’t buy it, it was a gift.

This fantastic item actually dates back to my time as a student.  Whilst collecting household items for my first student house (way back in the 1990’s), my Granddad donated a few pieces to help out.  All students have wacky novelty mugs, usually cartoon characters and the like.  None matched the sheer randomness of my Eric Bristow mug, however.  This cup became my standard – my symbol – amongst the student kitchen chaos.

An unusual item for someone who doesn’t drink hot beverages, perhaps.  Cool mug though, thanks to my Granddad!

If you own a tacky novelty mug, feel free to let me know about it.

Christmas Tat 2014

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The tree is up, the lights are on and the smell of mulled wine wafts through from the kitchen.  Yes, it’s that time of year again, the most tatty time of the year – Christmas!

No offence meant by that comment, kids – I love Christmas.  And I do take immense joy from the gaudy glitter and paraphernalia that we readily decorate our homes with.  No other time of year sees as much tacky nonsense around the house, and I think it’s great.

Here are a couple of items that have been picked up to add to our collection of Yuletide tat.

Santa

First up, a small ceramic light up Santa.  I picked this up from a local pound shop (my new favourite place!) for just £1.  Unbelievable value.  A flick of the switch underneath sets off the multi coloured lights within.  He’s a jolly little fellow and no mistake, a great little item.

xmas2

Next we have a Nativity scene, which I bought from B&M for £3.99.  Now again, I’ll reiterate that no offence is meant by this piece being in the “tat” section.  I happen to think this is a really nice festive decoration.  It was only cheap, which is reflected in the lacklustre paint job.  But if displayed well this scene looks great.

Hope you like these Crimbo decorations.  Have a great Christmas, and thanks for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.

Stay tuned for more cool stuff in the New Year!

The Ultimate in Tat

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There are many items in my collection of tat.  This particular one, however, is the absolute cream of the crop.  Or the absolute worst, depending on your point of view.  In my opinion, it is the tackiest and most tasteless thing I own.

Item: “Twat” Ash Tray IMG_2073

Description: ceramic ash tray, in white, with the word “TWAT” emblazoned on it.

Cost: £1

Bought at: Rhyl gift shop (are you seeing a pattern yet?)

Reason for buying: it’s in incredibly bad taste.

Yet again, mighty Rhyl stumps up the goods.  This foul mouthed creation – the least subtle item I’ve seen in a gift shop, ever – literally screams tat.  But with an extra “W” in there, too.

It was for sale in a gift shop – who on earth would buy this as a gift for someone whilst on holiday?  What were they thinking in the boardroom when the idea for this ash tray was put forward?

I have to admit, though – it does make me smile…

More Christmas Tat

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It’s Christmas Eve!  And here’s my personal Christmas present to you, loyal readers of the Virtual Hot Tub.  Yes, it’s more pictures of tacky Christmas decorations, this time from my home collection.  As time is now running out till the big day, I’ve combined several tat items into this one post, as a special seasonal treat just for you.

Father Christmas Ornament

No idea where this one came from – I think I rescued from somewhere I worked.  Quite a nice, detailed piece actually.  He’s pretty big.  Like a Christmassy garden gnome, but indoors. IMG_2711

Mini Light-up Santa Head

One pound from Poundstretcher in Mold.  He’s supposed to light up, but it doesn’t work.  Still pretty neat though. IMG_2714

Dancing Santa

This character once belonged to my Gran, if I remember correctly.  He’s been around for a long time, probably early 1980’s.  He looks a little evil – part dancing Santa, part mischievous elf.  Nice stick on beard. IMG_2719

Thanks to everyone for reading Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  Merry Christmas to you all!

Christmas Tat

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Light-up Father Christmas

You can have a nice, colour co-ordinated Christmas tree with matching lights, baubles and tinsel.  You can can have tasteful decorations adorning your lovely home in minimalist style.  Or you can go bonkers and cover the place with tat!

Personally, I like a bit of tat at Christmas.  Probably no surprise there.  Here, for your visual amazement, is one of the coolest, yet cheap, Crimbo ornaments ever.  It was owned by my friend Nicky, and sat on her desk in work.  It’s a wax Father Christmas candle, which also has a light up feature inside.

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Light-up Father Christmas, centre. Desk top tree and Oogey-Boogey along for the ride.

Apparently this was really cheap (£1?), and came from a Christmas bargain shop in Wrexham.  I think it’s awesome.  I would love to own one, for two reasons.  Firstly, it’s quite a well crafted likeness and fairly detailed.  Secondly, it’s tacky as hell.  A candle that lights up from the inside as well?  Beyond pointless.

Light up Santa is a really nice bit of tat, though now he’s apparently been lost in an office move.  If you ever see one of these on your travels, readers, please buy a couple.  One for yourself, and one for me.  I promise I’ll pay you back.

More Christmas tat very soon…

Tat Trek Update #3: Elvis Beach Towel

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It’s been a while since I last updated the Virtual Hot Tub.  And a while longer since we had a Tat Update.  This one’s a stormer.

Item: “Elvisly Yours” Beach Towel

IMG_2374

Elvis beach towel on location

Description: a standard beach towel bearing the image of the King himself, Elvis Presley – in the full on white jumpsuit.

Cost = approx £5.

Bought at: Rhyl, of course.

Reason for buying: I wanted a beach towel, and this one’s got Elvis on it.

In the temple of tat, there are two kings: the big Mr J Christ and our other good buddy, the one and only King of Rock’n’Roll – Elvis Presley.  Any item with the image of Elvis on automatically attains cool status, as far as I’m concerned.

This piece is both fun and functional – I used it on my recent summer holiday to Greece.  And yes, I am a fan of the King (though I prefer Johnny Cash if I had to choose).  I just can’t help believin’ that this is a great item for the Tat collection.

What do you think of this item? Don’t be cruel – leave a comment and let me know!

Tat Trek Update #2

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Time for some more tat from the archives.  Here’s a real gem for you.

IMG_0281Item: Mr T Piggy Bank

Description: Ceramic model of the A-Team misery guts, designed to save your coins.

Cost = can’t remember, but only about £1.

Bought at: Charity shop in Chester many years ago.

Reason for buying: It’s a fairly accurate rendition of B.A Baracus, well made and makes a nice ornament.  And I love The A-Team.

Mr T stands about 16cm tall, and is quite striking with the gold colouring.  This piece has often proved very desirable, with one of my friends making me promise to leave him this item in my will.  I think he was joking.

Sheer tat or 1980’s retro chic?  It’s bad, but it’s so cool too.  And no, I’ve never taken him on a plane.

Yet.

 

Tat Trek Update #1

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The gauntlet of the Tat Trek Challenge has been well and truly thrown.  Here’s a quick update from my friend Nicky Carr who found the monstrosity below:

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Item: Libra Star Sign Seashell
Description: A shell that looks leopard print with Libra painted on with the star sign that resembles a woman’s vagina haha.
Cost = 1 quid.
Bought at: Can’t remember name of shop but it was in Conwy and was full of pure tat such as bottled sand, kids tacky toys, magnets, key-rings, 3d bookmarks and Welsh dolls (One of the welsh dolls looked freaky wish I had bought but it was 5.99 and I couldn’t justify it. Unfortunately battery was dead so couldn’t get a pic. Bought the shell as was within the 1 quid budget and was worthy of tat trek challenge
Reason for buying: Tat trek challenge.

Have you acquired any tat lately?  If you have a piece of tat lying around your house, get a photo and description (as above) to me as soon as you can!

Tat Trek

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I love Rhyl.  Great place.  The amount of stuff I’ve collected there over the years is amazing.  CDs, DVDs, skateboards, Star Wars figures, comics, books, t-shirts – the list goes on and on.  There is, however, one thing about Rhyl that is truly beyond compare.  And that is the phenomenal amount of tat that you can find.

From traditional seaside nik naks to whatever junk is “on trend” at the time, Rhyl is the place to find it.  So back in 2010, me and my buddies Adam, Greeny and (Greeny’s son) Kurt set out on a challenge:

With a budget of just £3, buy the worst tat you can find.  Anything, the choice is yours – but make sure it’s tasteless, useless and practically worthless.  This is what we found.  Most items were a pound each.

Ricki Boy doll

IMG_0258What is this?  Some kind of fashion doll, apparently.  Whatever that is.  Nice shirt and pants combo.  This was found in one of the many glorious pound shop type places.

Little Wizard

IMG_0262Quite often you will find pirate versions of popular toys, cashing in on whatever is popular.  Here we have an example of a Harry Potter cash-in, with a ginger Potter-a-like “lovingly” executed in plastic.

Meerkat mug

IMG_0265See what I mean about cashing in on popularity?  Ages before that financial comparison site figured out it could shift tons of units by flogging meerkats thanks to the popularity of its adverts, Rhyl was already churning out meerkat themed memorabilia of a thousand different varieties.  Here we have a meerkat mug, though we could’ve chosen meerkat figurines, dolls, badges, garden ornaments, pencil tops and any number of other items.  I also love that this says “I love meerkat” and not “meerkats”.  Is that a reference to the advert characters accent or just bad grammar?  You decide.

Poodle Tax Disc holder

Indeed.IMG_0270

Rhyl fridge magnet

IMG_0275I actually like this.  I honestly do love Rhyl.  An ideal souvenir of a trip to the seaside.

Doll 

IMG_0260A mini ornamental doll.  Again, just a pound.  Apologies to any of my relatives who get this stuff from me for Christmas.

Light-up Crucifix

IMG_0268Pseudo religious stuff is a constant seller in the seaside tat shop.  This is a plastic cross that lights up.  Quite pretty actually.  I also have a Jesus fridge magnet somewhere.

…And the winner is:

“Funny Clowns” doll

IMG_0276This monstrosity was found in the back of an old shop, covered in dust.  Probably been there since 1985.  It’s frightening whether you have a fear of clowns or not.  The price?  Just £1.  We decided that this was the worst piece of tat found on the day.  Let me know if you agree.

It’s been too long since we did our Tat Trek.  Hopefully a return mission will be on the cards very soon.  Either way, I’m sure I’ll be back bargain hunting in Rhyl before long.

Hope you like these items.  There are loads more and I’ll post them in later blogs.  Please leave a comment if you like.  And I apologise if you have nightmares.