Hallowe’en Horror Fest Strippers

Zombie Strippers (2008)

A covert group of military commandos are summoned to deal with a chemical outbreak that is turning people into zombies.  It’s a tough job, and one zombie manages to escape.  To hide out in a nearby illegal, underground strip club, in case you didn’t guess.

In the strip club, the expected bitchiness escalates to new levels when one of the dancers is attacked, and becomes a zombie herself.  The insane appreciation of the customers persuades more girls to succumb to the undead, until eventually the inevitable surge of zombies threatens to destroy all… Zombie_strippers

This sounds ridiculous, right?  I mean, the title says it all: Zombie Strippers.

And yet this film is very entertaining, although not particularly ground breaking.  There are quite a few laughs, and tons of gore.  Zombie Strippers is totally over the top, and decides to deliver as many thrills as possible.  Having said that, there are enough wry winks at the camera (and pseudo philosophy) to show that the film makers at least tried to give this movie some substance.

On the whole the performances are excellent.  Robert Englund (yes, him) is great as the utter scum bag club owner, and seems to be having lots of fun with tongue wedged in cheek.  Jenna Jameson also does a commendable job, showing her glamorous skills  and really getting her teeth into her part.  You can tell that Jenna also knows this film is mental, but damn it she puts on a great show.

And let’s face it, the titillation is always going to be a big draw for this movie.  The girls are gorgeous indeed, but not for long.  Soon all hell breaks loose and any sexiness is right out the window.

So keep your mind open and you might be pleasantly surprised by Zombie Strippers.  It’s far better than you might fear.  But if it’s cheesy, over the top blood and gore you’re after, you’re gonna love it.

8/10

Platinum Lounge Rocks!

On Friday 6th September 2013, I was at the Platinum Lounge as part of a leaving do for my great friend and colleague, Ben the Swede.  He was going off to be a hobo on the streets of London, begging for loose change off commuters.  No doubt he would hitch down there, then spend his nights sleeping in a cardboard box with only a stray dog for company.

To celebrate Ben’s move to pastures new, we were all out and about painting the town red as only us filthy tramps know how.  There was a rumour that the Platinum Lounge was having a rock weekend.  The rumours were true.

Rock night at the Platinum Lounge featured the best music I have ever heard in any establishment in Chester.  It left other venues in the dust as the Lounge dared to play the tunes that would rock other clubs to their foundations.

It was a truly legendary night.  Here’s the playlist – or at least, what my compadres and I remember.

  1. Run DMC & Aerosmith – “Walk This Way”
  2. Ugly Kid Joe – “I Hate Everything About You”
  3. Soundgarden – “Black Hole Sun”
  4. Fleetwood Mac – “Go Your Own Way”
  5. ZZ Top – “Legs”
  6. Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
  7. Motley Crue – “Girls Girls Girls”
  8. Metallica – “Enter Sandman”
  9. Black Sabbath – “Paranoid”
  10. AC/DC – “Whole Lotta Rosie”
  11. Aerosmith – “Janie’s Got a Gun”
  12. The Cult – “She Sells Sanctuary”
  13. Rainbow – “Since You Been Gone”
  14. Alice Cooper – “Poison”
  15. Def Leppard – “Animal”
  16. Guns’n’Roses – “Sweet Child O’ Mine”
  17. AC/DC – “Back in Black”
  18. Jimi Hendrix Experience – “Foxy Lady”
  19. Fleetwood Mac – “The Chain”
  20. Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On a Prayer”
  21. Skid Row – “Youth Gone Wild”
  22. Dire Straits – “Money For Nothing”
  23. U2 – “Pride (In the Name of Love)”
  24. Bryan Adams – “Run to You”
  25. Billy Idol – “White Wedding”
  26. Pink Floyd – “Another Brick in the Wall”
  27. Rolling Stones – “Paint It Black”
  28. Santana – “Smooth”
  29. Whitesnake – “Here I Go Again”
  30. George Thorogood & the Destroyers – “Bad to the Bone”

OK, so I know the Ugly Kid Joe song sucks, but how many top tunes are there on that playlist?  I mean Soundgarden – you never hear Soundgarden played anywhere!  Especially not in Chester, where that sort of thing is punishable by whipping with a designer handbag.

Thanks to all at the Platinum Lounge for a great night.

Platinum Lounge Playlist

Excellent news – the legendary Platinum Lounge is open again this weekend.  This is whilst the recent licence issues are “pending”.  Hopefully we’ll see the Lounge resurrected to its former glory and status as a beacon of light in glum old Chester.

To celebrate, here’s a playlist I’ve collated on my visits to the establishment.  Obviously, this list isn’t exhaustive – I don’t know or own every song played in Platinum Lounge.  These are just the ones I have a copy of, and can remember.  After all, I usually have a couple of polite drinkies when I’m there.

This is a soundtrack for some great nights, great music and great company.  Maybe it will help convince people that Platinum Lounge is nothing to be afraid of.

  1. Kylie Minogue – “Confide in Me”
  2. Green Day – “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”
  3. Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
  4. Amy Winehouse – “Rehab”
  5. AC/DC – “Girl’s Got Rhythm”
  6. Alex Gaudino – “Destination Calabria”
  7. Beyonce – “Irreplaceable”
  8. Rhianna – “Umbrella”
  9. Audio Bullys ft. Nancy Sinatra – “Shot You Down”
  10. Destiny’s Child – “Independent Women”
  11. Beyonce – “Crazy in Love”
  12. Beyonce – “Green Light”
  13. Christina Aguilera – “Dirrty”
  14. Massive Attack – “Teardrop”
  15. Nickleback – “Rockstar”
  16. Ida Corr vs. Fedde Le Grand – “Let Me Think About It”
  17. ZZ Top – “Gimme All Your Lovin'”
  18. Poison – “Unskinny Bop”
  19. Motley Crue – “Girls, Girls, Girls”
  20. T-Rex – “Get It On”
  21. AC/DC – “Rock’n’Roll Train”
  22. ZZ Top – “Legs”
  23. AC/DC – “Back in Black”
  24. Alice Cooper – “Poison”
  25. Starship – “We Built This City”
  26. Metallica – “Enter Sandman”
  27. The Cult – “She Sells Sanctuary”
  28. AC/DC – “Shoot to Thrill”
  29. Steppenwolf – “Born to be Wild”
  30. Metallica – “Nothing Else Matters”
  31. Bon Jovi – “Wanted Dead or Alive”
  32. Tenacious D – “Tribute”

Recently Platinum Lounge held a Rock Night.  It was one of the best collection of tunes I’ve ever heard on a night out in Chester.  The above list doesn’t include songs from that night, I’ll post that as a separate list another time!

Enemies of Freedom

Very sad news recently with the announcement that Chester’s only lap dancing club, the Platinum Lounge, has lost it’s “sex establishment” licence.  This possibly means no more Platinum Lounge, and certainly no more lap or pole dancing.  It also means job losses for girls and bar staff working there.

The reason given by Chester City Council is that the club is in a residential area, and thus disruptive for local residents.  Which is clearly nonsense.  The real reason is that the busy bodies in the City have decided that a lap dancing club is “just not cricket” and would tarnish the reputation of the historic City of Chester.

However, I note that Chester Races is obviously a feature that the residents, business leaders and council whole heartedly approve of.  Chester races, which encourages binge drinking and violence on an unprecedented scale, not to mention traffic and disruption for all those who live or work in the area.  Chester races, the one day when male race goers wear a suit other than when they’re in court.  And the “ladies”, shoe-horned into tiny dresses to reveal their orange tanned cellulite ridden bodies.  Seen later with their knickers round their ankles, pissing in the gutter and being sick on their chips.

I’ve been to Platinum Lounge may times and found that the club was friendly and professional with no sign of trouble or drug use.  Unlike most other Chester venues (and I’m talking about some of the popular places here, not the tiny ones).  Not to mention that the drinks were affordable (unusual) and the music often excellent (very unusual for sad, small minded Chester).  I seriously doubt that I will be spending many evenings in the City from now on, as the alternatives for a good night out are scarce.

The hypocrisy and stupidity of this decision infuriates me.  It is blatant snobbery which will only serve to drive out any diversity in the City and further intensify the antisocial behaviour witnessed every weekend.  

For this reason, I name Chester City Council as my first ENEMIES OF FREEDOM.

Read more here.