Whitby Road Trip – On the Trail of Dracula

Whitby Abbey

A family road trip to Whitby, England

Whitby is a beautiful seaside town in North Yorkshire, England. Facing the North Sea, the port is surrounded by streets of old buildings and framed by the church of St. Mary and the ancient, ruined abbey, over looking all that sits below. It’s a lively and welcoming town that offers a wealth of history and a vibrant atmosphere.

One of several claims to fame that Whitby can boast is it’s enduring connection to the story of Dracula. The book’s writer, Bram Stoker, visited Whitby and was inspired by the local scenery and folklore in creating his novel and the infamous character. With the Count now deeply entrenched in popular culture, it’s often a surprise that his original site of landing in England was this Yorkshire fishing port.

Whitby Harbour

Of course, the Whitby Goth Weekends – which take place twice a year – celebrate the connection to the Lord of Vampires, but our trip wasn’t timed to coincide with those events. It was Mrs Platinum Al’s birthday trip to a place she’d wanted to visit for years, with or without Goths.

I’d been once before on a school trip in the early 1980s. Back then, the Dracula association wasn’t clear to me, though the memorial to explorer Captain James Cook was. Stoker’s Dracula is my favourite book, so that was the primary inspiration for both of us on this trip.

The town is full of old pubs, new yet stylish bars, cafes and bistros. We ate very well on our trip, particularly the fish & chips. The tantalising smell of fish & chips whilst exploring the streets was incredible – highly recommended to enjoy some on your visit. We ate in The Magpie, right on the harbour front, and the food was excellent.

There didn’t seem to be many big brand, typical high street shops. Instead, we found many small independent establishments, with lots of antique and curiosity shops that provided plenty of wonder. There were a handful of the usual seaside souvenir shops, plus several shops selling alternative/goth/rock gear of every imaginable variety. The Child was very impressed and spent a small fortune.

Graveyard

The highlight of our Whitby trip was appreciating some of the local features that famously appear in Dracula. We walked up the 199 steps to the graveyard – not easy, but less exhausting than it sounds. Naturally (for any Dracula fan, at least) we had a look round the graveyard, and St. Mary’s church as well.

Although in ruins, the Abbey at the very top of the headland is an ominous sight: it’s easy to imagine Stoker being inspired by the view. It was dark and foreboding on the day we visited – which was entirely appropriate – but fascinating never the less. We were also able to pick up some brilliant merch in the giftshop!

One final attraction I’ll mention was the Dracula Experience, which has a kind of Haunted House/Ghost Train at the funfair feel. It was there I saw a cape once worn by the legendary Christopher Lee when he played the Vampire Count. Other than that, we practically ran through the entire attraction, driven by the fear of whatever lurked in the dark and may jump out at us. Great fun!

Our Whitby roadtrip was pretty much perfect, with something for everyone. From the quaint and historic views, to the great food and warm welcome, we all thoroughly enjoyed our visit and will definitely return. Goth weekend next, maybe?

Visitwhitby.com

Whitby Abbey

Tat Trek Update #8: Jo Guest Strip Pen

It’s been far too long since we last took a peep into the collection de tat at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  So lets examine another fine piece from the assembled items of dubious taste and quality which I humbly possess.  And this one is a beauty, make no mistake.

ITEM: Jo Guest Strip Pen

Description: one of those ink pens that feature a picture of a woman on the side, wearing a bikini.  The clothing “disappears” when tilted so that the lady is naked

Cost: Free with copy of Men’s World magazine

Bought: location n/a

Reason for buying: n/a

When I was about twelve, a friend of mine (who was a few years older) went to the seaside and was allowed to buy one of these “tip and strip” novelty pens.  I was thoroughly shocked by this.

Years later, a similar pen came into my possession.  This is the one featured here, which features images of lovely 90’s pin up/page three girl/nudey mag legend, Joanne Guest.

Jo was a popular glamour model in the mid 1990s, and regularly appeared in top-shelf magazine Men’s World.  This pen was a cover mounted free gift with a particular issue.  Of course, I didn’t buy the magazine (or any other, similar publications) – this item was given to me as a gift, honest.

It’s quite a neat little item to own.  Guesty looks very cute on the pen, even though the image is tiny.  The tip and strip action is still working well and the pen even writes.  Owning one of these pens would be an envious item in any stationery stockpile, the fact it’s glam queen Jo Guest emblazoned in all her (naked) glory makes it even more desirable.

I’ve censored Jo’s rudey bits in the above pic, as you can tell.

For anyone who has trouble remembering the 90s, on the right is a pic of Jo from back in the day to refresh your memory:

To see more from my tat collection, go to the right hand side menu and click on “Tat”.  Scroll through for the goodies.

Disclaimer: in no way does Platinum Als Virtual Hot Tub admit to owning, viewing or buying any gentlemen’s periodical/jazz mag.

Madness at the Seaside

GRANDSLAM

Madness + Chainska Brassika + By The Rivers

Saturday 11th July 2015

Rhyl Events Arena

You know I love Rhyl, right?  Great place.  Under rated.  But that’s ‘cos most people don’t know where to find the cool stuff (Star Wars figures, comic books, skateboards, music, general paraphernalia).  On Saturday 11th July, however, you couldn’t miss the cool stuff.  It was right on the promenade, in front of the beach, at the Rhyl Events Arena.

And the cool stuff was legendary ska/80’s pop maestros Madness.

There have been a lot of rock and punk bands reviewed at the Virtual Hot Tub lately, so it’s about time for something a little different.  Madness were probably the first band I was ever a fan of, back when I was just Bronze Al.  They were the soundtrack of every school yard and summer holiday when I was a nipper.  I’ve listened to them ever since.

A surprise visit for the band to Rhyl was a great opportunity to catch the band live.

After a few hours in a local Tiki bar, my compadres and me made our way to the Rhyl Events Arena.  The venue was outdoor on the prom, with a stage set up right across form the town. Madness Rhyl

Support bands By The Rivers and Chainska Brassika offered a warm welcome.  Both bands were in a party mood playing variations on the ska/pop/reggae theme.  Good musicianship and enthusiasm helped both bands reach out to the ever growing audience.

The rain held off for the evening and there was definitely a party atmosphere in the arena.  By the time Madness arrived on stage, the good times were in full swing.  The audience had obviously travelled from far and wide for this gig, and were keen to see the Nutty Boys in full force.

The first part of the set was a relaxed affair, with a few new numbers and lesser known tracks alternating the big hits.  Step forward “Bed and Breakfast Man”, a lesser known song which should’ve been a single in the first place.

Rhyl lights up like in days gone by for the hit songs.  We get “House of Fun”, “Baggy Trousers”, “Embarrassment”, “My Girl” – sparkling gems every one.  It’s genuine pop classic after pop classic for the large part of the set.  If only the funfair was still open, it would’ve been perfect.  A fine way to reminisce of summer holidays past!

Madness give a great performance, punctuated with some banter and fun along the way.  My personal highlight is hearing “Our House” – my absolute favourite Madness track.  An obvious choice, I know – but I don’t care. Mad Al

The concert ends far too soon.  A great night, thank you Madness for paying a trip to sunny Wales and gracing us with your eccentric pop genius.

And well done Rhyl.  Let’s have more of it, shall we?

The Madness website is here.

The Rhyl Pavillion website is here.

My thanks to the Blazing Minds website, which I used to check some facts!

Rancid Rock

In which our intrepid adventurers explore a world of oddly flavoured confectionery…

For our recent trip to Sci Fi Weekender in north Wales, my compadres and I were well stocked with food and drink.  Along with the usual savoury food stuffs, there was plenty of sweet: chocolate, cakes, Twinkies.  All the good stuff.

And yet, with the reckless abandon of enthusiasm and the bravado of beer, we were destined for far murkier waters.

Some time previously, I had purchased some novelty rock on a trip to Rhyl.  You know what rock is – long cylindrical sticks; usually peppermint flavoured; either chewy or (as the name suggests) hard and brittle.  Brightly coloured sticks of sugar, the quintessential seaside souvenir.  IMG_3995

It was three sticks for a quid, and I bought these flavours:

  • Chicken Tikka
  • Fish’n’Chips
  • Cookie Dough

After a few beers one night, I decided it was time to experiment with these substances and see what the effects were.  Here are my observations.

Chicken Tikka

Now I love Indian food.  However Chicken Tikka rock is not to die for.  Imagine, if you will, the miserable surprise of sweet tasting rock being replaced by a vaguely spicy Asian flavour.  My brain thought a cruel trick was being played on it.  The rock was chewy rather than hard.  The taste was bland; with a strange, mild spiciness.  Like licking a stick of celery that had been waved near a curry flavoured Pot Noodle.  The only good thing is that this rock wasn’t hot spicy at all, just leaving an insipid warmth on the tongue.  Totally vile.

Disgusto rating: 3/5

Fish’n’Chips

Next up was the Fish’n’Chips flavour.  Now what could go wrong – the amalgamation of two British seaside classics, rock that tastes of fish and chips?  More like what couldn’t go wrong.  The chewy rock was strangely missing the traditional sweetness, instead it was a truly bland flavour with a remote hint of ancient battered cod.  But the smell of it was utterly putrid – a million maritime nightmares sheltering in the salty cove of your mouth.  Plain sailing this was not – Fish’n’Chips rock is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.  Like that time when, as a kid, you fell over while paddling in the sea; and got a mouth  full of salty seawater, seaweed, and dead crab.

Disgusto rating: 5/5

Cookie Dough

After the previous monstrosity, I was actually looking forward to Cookie Dough flavour.  Surely this one would be OK?  After all, the previous two varieties suffered from the juxtaposition of sweet becoming savoury.  No such luck.  Cookie Dough, despite being generally fantastic when added to ice cream, does no favours for rock.  It just tasted of aniseed.  Big disappointment.  Like being given an Easter Egg that looks great, but tastes of punch in the face.

Disgusto rating: 2/5

All in all not an experience I would like to repeat.  Though it was pretty funny…

Here’s what my friends had to say about the whole sorry affair:

Adam: “They smelt like the arse hole of a dead badger and pretty sure that’s what they tasted like too….  I can still taste it now late at night when it’s quiet in the house and I’m alone in my thoughts.”

Greeny: “I only tried the fish one, I didn’t dare try any others after that cos I wanted to die.  It tasted like cat shit and feet, wrapped in a thong that Jordan had worn for a month.  And it smelt pretty much like that too.”

The Ultimate in Tat

There are many items in my collection of tat.  This particular one, however, is the absolute cream of the crop.  Or the absolute worst, depending on your point of view.  In my opinion, it is the tackiest and most tasteless thing I own.

Item: “Twat” Ash Tray IMG_2073

Description: ceramic ash tray, in white, with the word “TWAT” emblazoned on it.

Cost: £1

Bought at: Rhyl gift shop (are you seeing a pattern yet?)

Reason for buying: it’s in incredibly bad taste.

Yet again, mighty Rhyl stumps up the goods.  This foul mouthed creation – the least subtle item I’ve seen in a gift shop, ever – literally screams tat.  But with an extra “W” in there, too.

It was for sale in a gift shop – who on earth would buy this as a gift for someone whilst on holiday?  What were they thinking in the boardroom when the idea for this ash tray was put forward?

I have to admit, though – it does make me smile…

Tat Trek Update #1

The gauntlet of the Tat Trek Challenge has been well and truly thrown.  Here’s a quick update from my friend Nicky Carr who found the monstrosity below:

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Item: Libra Star Sign Seashell
Description: A shell that looks leopard print with Libra painted on with the star sign that resembles a woman’s vagina haha.
Cost = 1 quid.
Bought at: Can’t remember name of shop but it was in Conwy and was full of pure tat such as bottled sand, kids tacky toys, magnets, key-rings, 3d bookmarks and Welsh dolls (One of the welsh dolls looked freaky wish I had bought but it was 5.99 and I couldn’t justify it. Unfortunately battery was dead so couldn’t get a pic. Bought the shell as was within the 1 quid budget and was worthy of tat trek challenge
Reason for buying: Tat trek challenge.

Have you acquired any tat lately?  If you have a piece of tat lying around your house, get a photo and description (as above) to me as soon as you can!

Tat Trek

I love Rhyl.  Great place.  The amount of stuff I’ve collected there over the years is amazing.  CDs, DVDs, skateboards, Star Wars figures, comics, books, t-shirts – the list goes on and on.  There is, however, one thing about Rhyl that is truly beyond compare.  And that is the phenomenal amount of tat that you can find.

From traditional seaside nik naks to whatever junk is “on trend” at the time, Rhyl is the place to find it.  So back in 2010, me and my buddies Adam, Greeny and (Greeny’s son) Kurt set out on a challenge:

With a budget of just £3, buy the worst tat you can find.  Anything, the choice is yours – but make sure it’s tasteless, useless and practically worthless.  This is what we found.  Most items were a pound each.

Ricki Boy doll

IMG_0258What is this?  Some kind of fashion doll, apparently.  Whatever that is.  Nice shirt and pants combo.  This was found in one of the many glorious pound shop type places.

Little Wizard

IMG_0262Quite often you will find pirate versions of popular toys, cashing in on whatever is popular.  Here we have an example of a Harry Potter cash-in, with a ginger Potter-a-like “lovingly” executed in plastic.

Meerkat mug

IMG_0265See what I mean about cashing in on popularity?  Ages before that financial comparison site figured out it could shift tons of units by flogging meerkats thanks to the popularity of its adverts, Rhyl was already churning out meerkat themed memorabilia of a thousand different varieties.  Here we have a meerkat mug, though we could’ve chosen meerkat figurines, dolls, badges, garden ornaments, pencil tops and any number of other items.  I also love that this says “I love meerkat” and not “meerkats”.  Is that a reference to the advert characters accent or just bad grammar?  You decide.

Poodle Tax Disc holder

Indeed.IMG_0270

Rhyl fridge magnet

IMG_0275I actually like this.  I honestly do love Rhyl.  An ideal souvenir of a trip to the seaside.

Doll 

IMG_0260A mini ornamental doll.  Again, just a pound.  Apologies to any of my relatives who get this stuff from me for Christmas.

Light-up Crucifix

IMG_0268Pseudo religious stuff is a constant seller in the seaside tat shop.  This is a plastic cross that lights up.  Quite pretty actually.  I also have a Jesus fridge magnet somewhere.

…And the winner is:

“Funny Clowns” doll

IMG_0276This monstrosity was found in the back of an old shop, covered in dust.  Probably been there since 1985.  It’s frightening whether you have a fear of clowns or not.  The price?  Just £1.  We decided that this was the worst piece of tat found on the day.  Let me know if you agree.

It’s been too long since we did our Tat Trek.  Hopefully a return mission will be on the cards very soon.  Either way, I’m sure I’ll be back bargain hunting in Rhyl before long.

Hope you like these items.  There are loads more and I’ll post them in later blogs.  Please leave a comment if you like.  And I apologise if you have nightmares.