Goodbye, Jenna

Last week was a sad one for our family. We had to say goodbye to Jenna, our cat. She was an old girl and had a good life. As Jenna was from a rescue centre, we’re not sure how old she was – we think about two years old when we got her, and she lived to be about 19.

Jenna

For my daughter Eloise, Jenna had been around all of her life. Eloise wrote a piece which I found very moving. I’ve shared it already on social media, but wanted to publish it here for posterity, and as a lasting tribute:

Goodbye, Jenna

By Eloise Jones

I’m going to miss you so much, Jenna. There hasn’t been a moment in my life where I haven’t been with you, and even when I was upset you’d come over to me and give me a cuddle.

It’s cruel I have to spend the rest of my life without you, when I have troubles and problems there won’t be a little skinny little cat for me to hold onto and ramble about my shit to.

You’ve been struggling for a while, and it’s only fair to let you go so you can be free and happy. So for now, au revoir, mon amour.

Big Tits Halloween Horror Fest

Big Tits Zombie (2010)

Yes, you read that title right.  Big Tits Zombie is trashy Japanese cinema, which I couldn’t resist picking up after reading about it in Bizarre magazine.  Hey, it only cost me £3!

Basically, this is the same strippers and zombies scenario as we’ve seen in Jenna Jameson’s Zombie Strippers, the only difference being this version features cute Japanese girls (rather than sexy American girls).  As per previous, the dancers inadvertently raise the dead and then have to survive the ensuing zombie apocalypse. btz

There’s actually a lot less smut on display than the title would suggest.  Instead we get some fairly amusing scenes of the girls trying to endure their boring day job, plus the addition of some martial arts when it’s zombie killing time.

Sadly, the special effects are lame CGI and the undead themselves are the least convincing zombies I’ve ever seen.  A shame – with better attention to detail this could have been a half decent horror spoof.

Don’t let the title put you off, Big Tits Zombie is very tame in the flesh revealing department, and actually features some mind boggling pop culture.  Worth a go if you have any interest in films that are just plain odd!

6/10

Scream (1996)

As I’ve stated previously, I’ve never been much of a slasher film fan.  I saw Scream nearly twenty years ago, not long after the film came out, and found it only mildly entertaining.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that I really enjoyed it second time around. scream

The story centres around a group of high school teenagers, who are terrorised via phone (that’s a landline, kids!) and killed off.  Which sounds very unoriginal, right?  Well the clever thing is that Scream doesn’t try to be completely original, rather the film is happy to exploit the audiences expectations and play with them, tongue slotted into cheek.

All very post modern and self referential, but at the end of the day the film stands or falls on it’s ability to scare – which it manages to do very well.  The tension builds, characters face jeopardy and the audience is kept on the edge of its seat.

Scream succeeds in avoiding self parody and provides loads of thrills.  There are enough nods to it’s predecessors to keep the slasher fans smirking knowingly.  Good performances and quick dialogue made me glad I gave Scream another chance.

8/10

Jenna Jameson Visits the Virtual Hot Tub!

There was a very special guest today at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub.  A very special lady who I’m sure you will all be familiar with.

Yes, it’s the one and only, internationally famed adult super star Jenna Jameson!

Ms Jameson very kindly accepted my invitation to my Virtual Halloween Hot Tub party, and I was over joyed to welcome her.  Jenna looked fabulous in her sexy rubber witch dress, and had a fabulous time sipping cocktails and doing the Monster Mash.

Well not really, this is actually my Jenna Jameson Halloween action figure – but virtually anything can happen at the Virtual Hot Tub!

This Jenna figure has a broom stick and pumpkin to complement her revealing black dress.  She’s on a stand that features more Jack O’Lanterns and is adorned proudly with her name.

It’s a very cool figure, with amazing detail right down to the intricate tattoos.  And this ain’t no Barbie doll – Jenna is anatomically correct.  So if her dress and panties are removed, intimate details are revealed…

Anyway, a suitable spooky action figure for Halloween, I’m sure you’ll agree! P_20141030_140256