Hallowe’en Horror Fest of Blood

Theatre of Blood (1973)

Vincent Price plays Edward Lionheart, Shakespearean actor presumed dead – now returned to seek revenge on the theatre critics who mocked him.  One by one, the tormentors are killed in gruesome ways based on the bard’s work.  Twisted by Obsession, Lionheart creates elaborate methods to slay the critics in the pursuit of an award he felt was rightly his.  theatre-of-blood-poster

This film features a great performance by Price, not to mention a superb cast of British actors not afraid to embrace the camp yet grisly feel of it all.  We see Arthur Lowe, Michael Hordern, Diana Rigg, Ian Hendry, Jack Hawkins and more.  Oh, and the impossibly pretty Madeline Smith gets some screen time too.

The plot is not the most original of ideas – it’s very similar to The Abominable Dr Phibes (also starring Price).  However, several of the murders are actually quite ghastly – as well as bizarre – and the actors’ performances keep the pace rolling along.  There are surprises and chills aplenty, making Theatre of Blood a film I heartily recommend.

8/10

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Well it’s basically inspired by old B-movies and horror/sci-fi flicks, so The Rocky Horror Picture Show is in this years Hallowe’en Horror Fest!

I’m not a huge fan though, sorry.  Mrs Platinum Al loves this old nonsense though, and made me promise not to write a bad review.  So to ensure I don’t end up like Eddy, I’ll list the things I enjoyed about this film and not mention the negatives.

  • It’s a musical, but has nothing to do with that Lloyd-Webber tit.
  • A couple of the songs are actually quite good – Science Fiction Double Feature is a great tune with cool lyrics in tribute to some classic films.
  • Charles Gray is MAGNIFICENT.
  • Susan Sarandon has a great rack.
  • Magenta would also get a portion (nice French maid outfit).

It’s actually quite good, campy fun for the most part, though I lost interest for the last twenty minutes.  I won’t be dressing up in stockings and suspenders for a late night showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show any time soon.

4/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest Must Die!

Outpost (2007)

A group of mercenaries are hired to escort a business man into a remote area of war torn Eastern Europe.  Their mission leads them to a mysterious bunker, once the secret base of Nazis in World War II.  Suddenly under attack, the group find themselves in the midst of forces they cannot comprehend…

Nazi zombies!  Brilliant!  This film is well produced and thoroughly well acted.  The sense of paranoia grows through out the movie.  Using clever lighting and a small set, the feeling of claustrophobia builds within both cast and audience alike. outpost-2008-uk-horror

However, despite the gritty look and disturbing atmosphere, the last twenty minutes fell a bit flat.  I had held this movie in high esteem following my initial viewing a few years back.  Watching it again, I felt as disorientated as the characters at the end – but not in the way the Director would have wanted.  A great premise was lost in the final few minutes.

Maybe I’ve confused this film with the far better Dead Snow as years have gone by.  Either way, a bit more Nazi zombie would have been a good thing.  Never the less, I’d recommend Outpost as one to watch.

7/10

The Return of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

Another October, another Hallowe’en Horror Fest!  As per last year, the Virtual Hot Tub will become a horror themed heaven – or hell – right on through to Hallowe’en.

Here’s this years first horror film mini review…

Pet Sematary (1989)

A family move to a new house, by a busy road, which is also near to the Pet Sematary of the title.  It is here that the local kids bury their beloved, sadly departed pets.  Cursed ground nearby, however, can revive the dead; though the dead come back not as they once were…  Inevitably the busy road takes it’s toll, and the struggle with grief leads to unnatural choices. Pet_sematary_poster

I had seen this adaptation of the Stephen King novel many years ago.  First time around I wasn’t massively impressed, but the film did entertain.  Watching Pet Sematary again after two decades, I was far more enthralled.  I now found some of the tale quite uncomfortable, as a parent.  Though that’s where King excels, taking our everyday fears and exploiting them, creating something quite unnerving.  This movie version manages to retain that dread and convey it well to the audience.

Pet Sematary is slightly dated, and the course of events slightly obvious, but there’s enough chilling imagery to make this film worth watching.

Plus this film picks up bonus points for two things:

  1. It features the late, great Fred Gwynne in a non-Herman Munster role
  2. It also features two Ramones songs (“Sheena is a Punk Rocker” and the title track) in a rare, early example of that fine band invading popular culture.  King is, of course, a big fan.

8/10

Questions #10: Film Scenes

If you could visit a location in any film you’ve ever seen, what would it be?  I don’t mean a film set like Pinewood Studios, I mean the actual location that you see on screen, real or imaginary.

You could pick New York, but when King Kong is climbing the Empire State Building.  That’s a real place, but when something fantastic from within a movie is happening.

Or you could pick a place that’s completely imaginary, like Oz or Narnia.

I asked this question to several people, and this is what they said.

Q: What scene from a film would you like to visit?

Scott: X-Men mansion

Jamie: Zion (The Matrix)

Matt: the mansion in Underworld

David R:  Andy’s room from Toy Story

Terry: Asgard (Thor)

Sam: Tron world(?)

Iaian: Springfield (The Simpsons)

Alex: Middle Earth (Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit)

Mike W: SHIELD Heli Carrier (The Avengers)

David: Hoth (The Empire Strikes Back)

Nathan: Fantasia (Never Ending Story)

Laura: Neverland (Hook)

Sue R: Paris (as in Last Tango In…)

Jayne: Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory

Andy B: Hill Valley (Back to the Future)

Kev: Pandora (Avatar)

Greeny: Jurassic Park

Adam G: Hill Valley 2015 (Back to the Future)

Chris: Gotham City (The Dark Knight)

Simon B: the bar in the Cannonball Run

Karen: Black Pearl (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Steve O: The Copacabana club (Goodfellas)

Claire H: Jamaica (Cool Runnings)

Kirsty R: Desert island from Castaway

Me: Mos Eisley cantina (Star Wars)

Leave a comment below if there’s a scene you’d like to be in!

Happy Easter from Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub!

Hope you’re all having a great Easter break.  With plenty of chocolate and not much DIY.

To celebrate, here’s a picture of an Easter Egg I “helped” my three year old daughter make for a competition in school.  As you can see, it’s one of the Minions from Despicable Me (which she’s a big fan of).

It was great fun getting creative and making this egg.  It’s a ceramic egg that can be bought from a supermarket, along with suitable paints.  I sketched the design first, then painted it, and finally used a Sharpie to give the detail.  The hard part was coming up with the idea in the first place!

We think he looks pretty cool – hope you like him. IMG_3076

Star Wars Episode VII – Why I’m not thrilled about the sequels

Those of you who know me well, will know that I am a fan of Star Wars.  Just ever so slightly.  Oh alright then, I’ve been completely obsessed with that galaxy far, far away since I was five years old.  You may be surprised that this is my first Star Wars themed blog post on the Virtual Hot Tub, infact.  However, you may be more surprised about my feelings for the new Star Wars sequels.

I remember being sat at this very computer on that day in October 2012, when Disney announced it’s acquisition of Lucasfilm – and the planned seventh episode of the saga.  I was not impressed.

Not that Disney being the home of the saga bothered me.  At the end of the day, Star Wars is a kid’s film – and what better home for it than the House of Mouse?  I have no problem with that.

Final Episode

What bothers me is setting the new films after Return of the Jedi.  The sixth episode has been the final episode for a long time.  Sure, I wanted to see more films back in 1983, when I was a kid.  But as I’ve grown older, I’ve been happy with the conclusion of the series.  It’s an upbeat ending.  The Empire is defeated, the Alliance is victorious – peace and freedom from oppression is restored to the galaxy.  It’s exactly what the story needs, and it’s perfect in it’s intention (if not always it’s execution).

But if that’s not the end, then what’s next?  If the battle against evil goes on, then to some extent the sacrifices and hardships of the “middle” trilogy lose some of the potency.  Of course, in a real world, conflicts and rivalries continue.  But this isn’t the real world, it’s a fairy tale – a big, outer space fairy tale.  And there was no “Snow White 2” or “Revenge of the Wicked Step Mother” when that story arc came to an end.

EU-rrghh

I guess I’m most afraid of the horrors of the Star Wars Expanded Universe taking hold in the film versions.  I did read a lot of EU stories – novels and comics – before Episode I was released.  After that, I gave up on non-canon works as they often featured contradictions to what was appearing on screen, such as the origins of the Death Star.

Much worse than any slight inconsistencies, however, were some of the bafflingly bad concepts splurged onto the page by EU creators.  A criticism of the Star Wars EU is a topic for a whole blog post of it’s own – and I admit it’s not all bad.  I was never a huge fan of the Thrawn trilogy (too much of Zahn’s own creations with ridiculous names, not enough film characters), though other series were much worse.  The big problem I had with the EU though, was the lame device of bringing back the bad guys – Emperor Palpatine returns!  Boba Fett didn’t die!

Oh, come on.

I enjoyed many of the comics and the books set within the time frame of the original movies.  And I think this is where the big problem lies: all those brilliantly dastardly bad guys are dead.  How are they going to replace them?  One thing’s for sure – the new writers have a hell of a lot of work to do.  Let’s hope they steer clear of the EU for inspiration.  I don’t even want any sly nods to keep the fans happy.

New Talent

So talking of the new talent: is JJ Abrams up to the job? To be honest, I have never seen anything that the guy has done, so I can’t comment.  The good news is Lawrence Kasdan, who scripted Episodes V and VI, is back onboard. Thank God.  Why was he never involved in the Star Wars prequels?  Any help with answering that conundrum much appreciated.

Another interesting rumour (or more-than-rumour, these days) is the return of the original cast.  There’s been a huge amount of interest in the return of Hamill, Ford and Fisher to the saga.  I’m not sure about this either, sorry.  Baby Darth Vader in Episode I was hard enough to accept – do I really need to see a 65 year old Luke Skywalker?  I’m not sure about seeing my childhood heroes as old people.  I’d sooner they were timeless and forever as they were at the end of Jedi.

Who else will we see return?  R2-D2 will return, it has been reported.  So what about C3PO?  If we have Luke, Leia and Han, then surely we will need to have Chewie and Lando?  Please bring Chewie along, Lucasfilm – you can’t let him die in one of those awful books!

A New Hope

I don’t want to be totally negative about this new venture.  One thing that does excite me is the news of stand alone movies, possibly featuring lesser characters.  These stories could – and should – occur within the time frame (or immediately preceeding) of the earlier six films.  Again, Episode VI should be the end, but I’d love to see the early years of the Rebel Alliance.  That would be very cool.  More on this in another blog post…

Whatever adventures we experience with Episodes VII to IX, I want to be optimistic.  I’m a Star Wars fan, and I hope my fears above are wrong.  I have my doubts, though I would love them to be cast aside.  Will that happen?  In the words of one wise being: “Difficult to see.  Always in motion is the future.”

Let’s hope the Force is with us.

Memorabilia NEC – Film Character Photos

One more set of photos from my last visit to Memorabilia at Birmingham NEC.  I apologise – what with Christmas and all, I haven’t had chance to post these previously.

Earlier posts have showcased photos of Memorabilia punters dressed up as characters from comic books and television.  This set of shots features film based characters.  There are many more brave people dressed up at Memorabilia, far more than I’ve captured in this series of photos.  Good luck to them, I say.

By the way – there are plenty more Star Wars photos from previous trips to Memorabilia.  Stay tuned!

Thanks to everyone at Birmingham NEC Memorabilia who posed for photos – all were very happy to do so.

Questions #8: Christmas Films

What could be better than being snuggled up at home in front of the fire, beverage in hand, watching crap on TV?  It’s part of what Christmas is all about.  The television specials, the films, we’re subjected to both the classic and the drastic each year.

So I wanted to know what everyone’s favourite Christmas movie is.  The rules:

  • Your film of choice must have been on television (terrestrial or satellite)
  • It has to be Christmas set or themed.  You can’t pick, for example, Zulu, just because it’s on every year or because you like to watch it every Christmas.  Die Hard, on the other hand, would qualify, as it’s set at Christmas.

Q: What’s your favourite Christmas film?

Jess: Elf

Ash: Elf

Lynne: Elf

Tom: Home Alone

Matt: Home Alone

Mike R: Home Alone

Jayne: Elf

Mike W: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Alix: Home Alone 2

Stu: Arthur Christmas

Jade: Elf

Michelle: Home Alone

Jamie: Jingle All the Way

Terry: Home Alone

Sam: Lethal Weapon

David R: Jingle All the Way

Sue R: Miracle on 34th Street

Nathan: Miracle on 34th Street

Ben G: Muppets Christmas Carol

Sarah: Elf

Jack: Home Alone 2

Me: It’s a Wonderful Life

There you have it:Elf just wins (because I counted Home Alone 2 as a separate film, not additional votes for the first film).

I think Elf is a worthy winner, it just seems more “Christmassy” than Home Alone.  It’s got Elves and Santa in it, after all.

If you’d like to let me know your favourite Christmas film, leave a comment.  Disagree with the choices or rules above?  Likewise.

Captain Blood (1935)

After a long while, I finally added this film to my DVD collection.  Originally released in 1935, Captain Blood is black and white, no CGI – switch off now if this isn’t your thing.  But you’ll be missing something special if you do.

This is the story of a doctor, Peter Blood, who through misfortune and circumstance finds himself a slave in the West Indies.  From here he escapes with his trusty comrades and commandeers a Spanish ship, his only option now a life of piracy.  We follow Captain Blood and his crew’s adventures on the seas. captainblood1

Warner Brothers took a gamble in casting the unknown Errol Flynn in the lead role.  The risk paid off – Flynn lights up the screen from the start.  A star is not so much born as presented fully formed for the audience to adore.  Olivia de Havilland, as Arabella Bishop, also found herself become an established name.  There is real on screen chemistry between the two (they’d go on to star in many other films together); both Flynn and de Havilland captivating throughout.

Director Michael Curtiz employs everything he has to create a spectacle on screen, though surprisingly most of the scenes were shot on sound stages.  Flynn’s sword fight with Basil Rathbone is energetic and deadly.  The final swing-across-the-cavern ship to ship battle is still exciting even now.

Curtiz takes his time telling the back story before we get to the piracy on the high seas.  On first viewing you may wonder when the film will actually get to the pirate part, yet the tale is told well with engaging characters and action.

Captain Blood is golden era Hollywood.  It has escapism, adventure and above all, fun.  Even without a single “Garrrrgh!”, it’s still full of pirate-y goodness.

8/10 

Memorabilia NEC – TV character photos

More from my recent visit to Memorabilia at Birmingham NEC.  This time, a few photos with a television theme.  Hope you enjoy.

The Cyber Men were always my favourite Doctor Who baddies.  Old and new versions for you here.

Lion-O was one of my favourite characters I saw all day.  Awesome.