The Halloween Horror Fest Must Die

Happy Halloween, folks! Here are a few more spooky movie reviews, hope you enjoy!

The Beast Must Die (1974)

A departure from the more familiar horror anthology tales produced by Amicus, The Beast Must Die is an interesting curiosity. We meet a millionaire big game hunter, keen to bag himself the prize of a lifetime: a werewolf. Hence he invites a group of guests, all of whom could be suspected to be a lycanthrope, to his sprawling mansion with its high security.

Only one of them is a werewolf – can you guess which one in the “Werewolf Break”?

The break is a thirty second countdown, allowing a brief pause for the audience to decide for themselves which of the guests is the werewolf, before all is revealed. And yes, it actually appears in the film. An odd gimmick, but there you go.

The film actually plays more like a detective story, or episode of a 1970s television thriller. As such, there are plenty of opportunities for some real suspense and jumpy horror that are squandered. But with a great cast including Peter Cushing, Charles Gray and Michael Gambon, this is still worth checking out. The Beast Must Die is a definite watch for any fan of 70’s British horror, like me.

8/10

Wolf Creek (2005)

Now if the snakes, spiders, sharks and God knows what else aren’t enough to put you off visiting Australia, then there’s always the deranged Outback serial killers.

In Wolf Creek, some typically annoying young studenty backpackers are travelling across the mundane wasteland when they run into some psycho called Mick Taylor (John Jarratt). Although he promises to help them with a broken down car, turns out Mick isn’t really very nice. What follows is a shocking and disturbing account of what can only be termed torture porn, as the kids try desperately to escape the clutches of the cork hat maniac.

Wolf Creek is actually a well made film, featuring some very good performances. It’s extremely tense and downright nasty. If you can deal with that, this film is definitely worth a watch. The viewer can’t help but empathise with the kids and imagine themselves being in such a horrific situation. But the plot is kinda obvious and unfulfilling in the end, a bit like an episode of Neighbours.

So, what’s the moral of this particular story? Don’t go to Australia.

7.5/10

The Fly (1958)

Not the crappy David Cronenberg remake, this is the original 1958 classic sci-fi horror starring the legendary Vincent Price. The story unfolds of Price’s brother, Andre (David Hedison), a scientific genius, and his sadly disastrous experiment with matter transferral.

After some initial success, Andre eventually goes too far in his explorations, as a rogue house fly enters the matter transmitter with him. The result is a gruesome hybrid of the human being and a fly, and the race is on to try to reverse the process before the scientist loses all trace of humanity.

This brilliantly clever film is also very touching, as the brilliant scientist and his family are subjected to terrible events that they cannot escape. Great performances, of course, and a bizarre twist in the tale make this first version of The Fly the definitive version. Absolutely unmissable.

9.5/10

Halloween Horror Fest: Blood and Honey

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Yes, I couldn’t resist! Lured in by the novelty value of a Winnie the Pooh themed horror movie, I decided to give this bizarre mutation a viewing. The rights for Pooh Bear and his friends form the Hundred Acre Wood entered into the public domain in the USA recently, and these enterprising (or “deranged”) film-making fiends decided to revamp things a bit. Quite a bit, actually.

Having been abandoned by Christopher Robin when he grows up and leaves the wood, the remaining cuddly chums degenerate into psychopathic killers. The now adult Christopher Robin, with his fiancée, returns to the site of his youthful adventures and soon comes a cropper when he encounters the now feral Pooh and Piglet.

Things get worse when a group of female students, whilst renting a holiday cabin in the woods, also meet the murderous Pooh and Piglet – and the inevitable carnage ensues.

And that’s all you need to know, if you needed to know anything at all. One by one the characters are slaughtered as per the expected slasher movie routine – with plenty of gore, screaming and running about. To be fair, there are a few plot twists and some novel killing methods, and the lighting and colours look great on screen.

But the obvious fact that Pooh and Piglet are just blokes in masks makes the film look like a cheap Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off. Despite an original and crazy concept, we’ve seen it all before. One to watch purely for the novelty value, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey comes to a sticky end.

5/10

Torso – Album Review

TORSO – A Crash Course in Terror

APF Records

Release date: 27/01/2023

Running time: 30 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

9.5/10

BLEEAUURRRGH!!!  It’s a jump scare to wake anyone out of hibernation, running for safety behind the sofa.  What a way to start the year!  APF records present “A Crash Course in Terror”, the debut album from TORSO.  Formed from the smouldering corpse of Possessor by that band’s Graham Bywater (frontman/guitarist), TORSO skulk in a murky Grindhouse nightmare.

Are you sitting comfortably?  Then we’ll begin.  ‘Heads Start to Roll’ introduces the album with a John Carpenter-esque, menacing, keyboard-led theme which immediately unsettles the listener.  Then the chainsaw guitars cut through, the song erupts, and the listener is dragged along by the scalp in a ferociously paced fairground ride from hell. 

The retro, electro keyboard themes dotted throughout help to set this album apart in its own fuzzy VHS world.  Spooky instrumentals like ‘Pranks’, ‘Depth Charge’ and ‘Death TV’ add a dread atmosphere, part prog and part video nasty soundtrack.

‘Sinking Spell’ is like The Melvins rocking out to a Texas Chainsaw Massacre back projection.  The lo-fi, raw sound of the heavier numbers keeps everything within the TORSO world: ‘Precious Blood’ could be a punked up hybrid of Angel Witch and Electric Wizard.  Finally, the epic ‘Circuit Breaker Breaker’ has a B-movie, doom metal fury that sounds as if the final survivor is running for their life from a vicious psycho killer.

My only complaint with this album is that at just 30 minutes, it’s a little short – I’d have loved another 5 minutes of mayhem.  But at least “A Crash Course in Terror” is to the point.  That’s much preferable to yet another 80 minute Metallica album – I haven’t finished listening to all the songs on their last record yet…

“A Crash Course in Terror” by TORSO.  A fantastic, gruesome recording and a perfect start to the year.  Can 2023 get any better?

Check out Torso on Instagram, Spotify and YouTube.

APF record scan be found on Facebook, Bandcamp, Twitter and their own website.

This review brought to you by the combined might of Platinum Al and Ever Metal.