Tag Archives: monster movie

30 Days of Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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OK: so I know Hallowe’en is all over.  It’s November.

And I also know that there are 31 days in October.

But I’ve still got a few short’n’sweet Horror movie reviews for you, which due to scheduling issues I haven’t had chance to write up till now.  So here we go!

30 Days of Night (2007)

The Alaskan town of Barrow is a remote place, and about to become more isolated once the month long night commences.  As the town readies itself, a number of bizarre occurrences foreshadow an unimaginable horror.  For the town will be besieged by a group of blood thirsty vampires, allowed free reign due to the towns people’s disbelief and the ongoing dark. 30-days-of-night-poster-1_6599

This film hauls vampire folklore into the 21st century and breathes life into the (undead) corpse.  The vampires are brutal, savage and powerful.  Their leader, played chillingly by Danny Huston brings an unrelenting nightmare to the people of Barrow.  This is how vampires are supposed to be – the portrayal of the undead in this film is like the re-imagining of the zombies in 28 Days Later.  Suddenly, we are confronted by vampires who are genuinely threatening.

The human leads – Josh Hartnett and lovely Melissa George – also give sympathetic performances.  The audience are presented with characters we can empathise with, and share their fear.

The bleak, snowy landscape creates a hopeless and claustrophobic atmosphere.  The premise of 30 Days of Night is ingenious, and the film delivers admirably.  Recommended viewing, if only to see how ancient vampire myth can be made relevant – and frightening – for today’s audience.

9/10

Carry On Screaming (1966)

Yes, it’s the Carry On gang in a homage of sorts to that other British film institution – Hammer.  Although the plot manages to mix up elements of House of Wax, Jekyll and Hyde, Frankenstein and the Addams Family, it still manages to make some sense and entertain along the way. Carry_on_screaming_(film)

Sid James is MIA, replaced in this film by Harry H. Corbett of Steptoe and Son fame.  Corbett does an impeccable job as Detective Sergeant Sidney Bung.  Also along are many of the usual faces, including Kenneth Williams, Jim Dale, Joan Simms and Charles Hawtrey.

The creepy show is stolen though by uber vamp Fenella Fielding as Valeria, in her tight red dress; who manages to smoulder like Lily Munster or (Carolyn Jones) Morticia.  Utterly gorgeous!

It’s one of the better Carry On films in my opinion, and manages to get a few good gags in along with the usual double entendres.  The monsters – Oddbod and Oddbod Junior – scared me to death when I was eight.

Carry On Screaming is great for a bit of light relief from other, truly scary films.  And it manages to create a spooky Gothic vibe, too.

7/10

The Woman in Black (2012)

Hammer studios really got back in the game with this film.  Starring Daniel Radcliffe (yes, Harry Potter) as a young lawyer sent to work in a remote old house, this film manages to inject some real frights. womaninblack

Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) travels from London to his assignment in the North at spooky old Eel Marsh House.  He’s there to examine papers of the deceased owner, but soon finds himself caught between the superstitious (and downright unfriendly) locals and whatever the presence is up at the house.

The Woman in Black was only certified as a 12 in the UK.  Hammer (quite uncharacteristically) shed blood, gore, sex and violence and instead concentrate on a film that has an overdose of jumpy frights.  The film is a classic ghost story, featuring a lonely haunted house that leaves the viewer truly unnerved.  Brilliant!

9/10

And there we have it – the end of another Hallowe’en Horror Fest.  Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read these reviews.  I hope you had a chillingHalloween!

Hallowe’en Horror Fest Strippers

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Zombie Strippers (2008)

A covert group of military commandos are summoned to deal with a chemical outbreak that is turning people into zombies.  It’s a tough job, and one zombie manages to escape.  To hide out in a nearby illegal, underground strip club, in case you didn’t guess.

In the strip club, the expected bitchiness escalates to new levels when one of the dancers is attacked, and becomes a zombie herself.  The insane appreciation of the customers persuades more girls to succumb to the undead, until eventually the inevitable surge of zombies threatens to destroy all… Zombie_strippers

This sounds ridiculous, right?  I mean, the title says it all: Zombie Strippers.

And yet this film is very entertaining, although not particularly ground breaking.  There are quite a few laughs, and tons of gore.  Zombie Strippers is totally over the top, and decides to deliver as many thrills as possible.  Having said that, there are enough wry winks at the camera (and pseudo philosophy) to show that the film makers at least tried to give this movie some substance.

On the whole the performances are excellent.  Robert Englund (yes, him) is great as the utter scum bag club owner, and seems to be having lots of fun with tongue wedged in cheek.  Jenna Jameson also does a commendable job, showing her glamorous skills  and really getting her teeth into her part.  You can tell that Jenna also knows this film is mental, but damn it she puts on a great show.

And let’s face it, the titillation is always going to be a big draw for this movie.  The girls are gorgeous indeed, but not for long.  Soon all hell breaks loose and any sexiness is right out the window.

So keep your mind open and you might be pleasantly surprised by Zombie Strippers.  It’s far better than you might fear.  But if it’s cheesy, over the top blood and gore you’re after, you’re gonna love it.

8/10

Universal Monsters – Action Figures

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Back in the late 1990’s, a series of action figures based on the classic Universal monsters was released by Burger King.  That is, they were give aways with the kids’ meals.  As I love both action figures and classic monsters, I collected the set.

The figures are all 3.75 inches – Star Wars figure size – and each was packaged with a free glow in the dark sticker.  All of the stickers are now on my fridge door.  I’ve dragged the figures out in to the light as Halloween decorations, and they’re pretty cool. P_20141030_135609

Dracula

Based on the Bela Lugosi Dracula from the 1931 film, this vampire comes complete with his own bright red coffin.  Twist the lever at the bottom, and the Count rises to terrorise the night.  It’s a very neat and authentic feature.  Although the likeness to Lugosi isn’t brilliant, it’s still a very impressive toy.

Frankenstein’s Monster

As you can tell from the photo, this monster’s head is translucent.  It’s designed to glow while placed on the accompanying operating table, which emits a light when a button is pressed.  Unfortunately the battery in mine stopped working a long time ago.  The likeness is based on the classic Boris Karloff look.  The translucent effect, whilst a cool play feature, means that the head sculpt can’t be seen that well.  This is a shame, as it’s possibly the best face of the set.

Wolfman

The Wolfman appears with a twist of the lever (like Dracula) from what appears to be a wooden freight box.  Also as with Drac, you can detach the figure from the accessory.  I’ve always been a big fan of the Wolfman, and I love this action figure.

Creature from the Black Lagoon

Despite appearing a little chubby, the Creature from the Black Lagoon is very detailed.  He’s also designed to have a light up feature, by pressing his stomach the Creature’s torso glows.  Again, the batteries have long since drained away, and it looks extremely fiddly to replace.

A search on eBay will locate these figures if you’re interested, though you’ll pay a few quid to own the set mint.  Mine aren’t for sale.  I was 25 years old when these toys were released, and I was as excited as a tiny kid when I saw them.  They are monstrously cool!

Hallowe’en Horror Fest AD 1972

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Dracula AD 1972 (1972)

1872: Count Dracula is locked in mortal combat with arch enemy, Lawrence Van Helsing.  The Count (Christopher Lee) is destroyed, though Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) also perishes from his wounds.  A disciple of the vampire collects some of the ashes, and Dracula’s ring; burying them at the site of a church.

1972: A group of young London groovers are persuaded to take part in a satanic mass “for kicks”.  Amongst the group is Jessica Van Helsing (Stephanie Beacham), grand daughter of Lorrimer Van Helsing (Cushing again) and descendent of the original vampire slayer.  Little do they know that one member of the group, Johnny Alucard (Christopher Neame), is himself a disciple of Dracula – and intends to resurrect the Count.  dracula_ad_1972_poster_06

Following a bloody ritual in a deconsecrated church, Dracula (Lee) is revived, and he begins to plan his revenge against the House of Van Helsing…

With this film Hammer attempted to drag their Gothic horror films into the modern era.  So in Dracula AD 1972, we’re presented with a Dracula in (then) modern day swinging London, complete with cars, rock’n’roll bands and hip young kids out for a good time.  It’s for this reason that the film is most often derided as silly, if not damn near sacrilegious.

The young hippies are given a look and slang that most surely must have been out of place by 1972.  Viewed now, the dialogue is sometimes hilarious.

Despite the harsh opinions held by many about Dracula AD 1972, I love it.  As a confirmed fan of all things from the seventies, I find it outrageously good fun to see Dracula in this anachronistic setting.  What we lose with the lack of traditional Gothic period setting, we gain in a campy, retro London with funky Blaxploitation style music and cool sets.Yes, the kids’ dialogue is ridiculous, but it’s also great fun if the audience just accepts it.

Draculaad1972

My VHS and DVD copies

As a glimpse of an imaginary 1970’s London, I find this film really enjoyable.  Part Hammer and part The Sweeney, if you will.  That it was an inspiration for Tim Burton on Dark Shadows is well documented, and hopefully means that Dracula AD 1972 is finally getting some recognition for it’s attempt to inject new blood (haha!) into the Count.

There are some bloody moments, but nothing too shocking for a modern audience.  What we do get is a great performance by Peter Cushing, who really embodies his role as occult expert with authority.  Lee, too, is imposing and majestic as Dracula, truly menacing and physically powerful.  It would’ve been great though to see the Count stalking around London for victims at night more, certainly a missed opportunity.

The youngsters give it a good go despite the atrocious (or funny) lines – Beacham and Neame are both great.  Plus Michael Coles as the Inspector gives us a character that is actually believable.

My personal favourite element of this film though is the wonderful, bewitching Caroline Munro.  Here Ms Munro appears in one of her most iconic roles as Laura Bellows, and she has never looked lovelier.  Good performance too, though it would’ve been great to see Caroline resurrected as a Bride of Dracula.

So despite some utter ridiculousness and a couple of wasted opportunities, I can only recommend Dracula AD 1972 as not only one of my favourite Hammer films, but one of my favourite films ever.  Cool soundtrack, too.

“Dig the music, kids!”

10/10 for me

9/10 for everyone else

The Lost Hallowe’en Horror Fest

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The Lost Boys (1987)

“Sleep all day.  Party all night.  Never grow old.  Never die.  It’s fun to be a vampire.”

Welcome to Santa Carla, California – murder capital of the world!  It’s also crawling with vampires…

Sam (Corey Haim) and Michael (Jason Patric) move to the coastal town with their mother (Dianne Wiest), following her divorce.  They move in with eccentric old Grandpa (Barnard Hughes) and start to explore the community.  Michael falls in with a group of motor cycling young rebels and begins to stay out late, as he is initiated into the gang.  Sam meets up with the Frog Brothers, Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan (Jamison Newlander), who attempt to warn him of the dangers of Santa Clara. Lost_boys

The warning of the Frog Brothers will come in handy.  The gang leader, David (Kiefer Sutherland) is initiating Michael into a cult of vampires…

But then you’ve seen this movie, right?  It’s a 1980’s classic – featuring the Two Coreys, Kiefer, and a cast of teenage stars in a film that just manages to keep itself from becoming a cheese fest.  Though Corey Haim’s outfits are more vomit inducing than any of the vampire’s kills.  Come to think of it, I always thought the vampires were way cooler than the heroes.  Nowadays I can just enjoy The Lost Boys for the fun it is.

It’s not the scariest film ever made, but there are some nice vampire folklore touches, a few jumps, and enough humour to keep this one fresh.  The soundtrack is OK, and the narrative keeps you hooked.  Plus it’s one of the most quotable movies ever.

“What, you don’t like rice?”

8/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest of the Dead

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Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun (Simon Pegg) decides to get his life on track in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.  Together with best mate Ed (Nick Frost) and group of fellow survivors including his mum, step dad and (ex?) girlfriend, they group together to avoid the undead hordes.  In a pub. Shaun-of-the-dead

This black comedy from Director Edgar Wright and Pegg is very fine indeed.  There are some very funny moments and lots of detail, giving the film a depth and quality that can be enjoyed repeatedly.  Dark it my be, but there’s still plenty of humour and some poignancy too.

A homage to old zombie movies more than a spoof, there’s lots to get your (rotting) teeth into here.  It’s nice to see a zombie movie from a British perspective, where we get a cricket bat as the main defensive weapon.

If you’ve not seen Shaun of the Dead, check it out soon.

Fun fact: I first saw this film when I was getting a tattoo done.  Ouch!

8/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest Shadows

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Dark Shadows (2012)

Tim Burton and – who else? – Johnny Depp bring us Dark Shadows, based on the cult late ’60’s TV show of the same name.  It’s a mix of horror, comedy and drama that is happy to lurk in Gothic darkness, but also offers a campy humour. dark

Barnabas Collins (Depp), heir to the wealthy Collins clan fortune, makes the mistake of spurning the love of Angelique (Eva Green).  Angelique happens to be a witch who curses Barnabas to become a vampire.  After being imprisoned for 200 years, Collins is awoken and finds himself in the year 1972.  A man – or vampire – considerably out of his time, Barnabas returns to the family home with the intention of restoring the Collins family to both wealth and harmony.  Aided by matriarch Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), Barnabas faces Angelique once more; whilst also attempting to help his family and win the love of his life.

Does that sound like fun to you?  It did to me.  Which is why I’m surprised that some people didn’t dig this retro gem.  The mixing of genres may have confused some audiences, but to me Dark Shadows is a delightfully ghoulish confection in the spirit of the Addams Family and The Munsters.

I enjoyed the comedy elements, and there’s enough blood to tick the horror box.  Most of all though, I love the 1970’s setting – obviously inspired (again) by Hammer, there are cool cars and an exceptional soundtrack.  Alice Cooper even has a cameo as himself, for goodness sake – playing two classic Coop tracks!

Great cast, cool atmosphere – it all adds up to a winner in my book.

9/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest of Blood

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Theatre of Blood (1973)

Vincent Price plays Edward Lionheart, Shakespearean actor presumed dead – now returned to seek revenge on the theatre critics who mocked him.  One by one, the tormentors are killed in gruesome ways based on the bard’s work.  Twisted by Obsession, Lionheart creates elaborate methods to slay the critics in the pursuit of an award he felt was rightly his.  theatre-of-blood-poster

This film features a great performance by Price, not to mention a superb cast of British actors not afraid to embrace the camp yet grisly feel of it all.  We see Arthur Lowe, Michael Hordern, Diana Rigg, Ian Hendry, Jack Hawkins and more.  Oh, and the impossibly pretty Madeline Smith gets some screen time too.

The plot is not the most original of ideas – it’s very similar to The Abominable Dr Phibes (also starring Price).  However, several of the murders are actually quite ghastly – as well as bizarre – and the actors’ performances keep the pace rolling along.  There are surprises and chills aplenty, making Theatre of Blood a film I heartily recommend.

8/10

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Well it’s basically inspired by old B-movies and horror/sci-fi flicks, so The Rocky Horror Picture Show is in this years Hallowe’en Horror Fest!

I’m not a huge fan though, sorry.  Mrs Platinum Al loves this old nonsense though, and made me promise not to write a bad review.  So to ensure I don’t end up like Eddy, I’ll list the things I enjoyed about this film and not mention the negatives.

  • It’s a musical, but has nothing to do with that Lloyd-Webber tit.
  • A couple of the songs are actually quite good – Science Fiction Double Feature is a great tune with cool lyrics in tribute to some classic films.
  • Charles Gray is MAGNIFICENT.
  • Susan Sarandon has a great rack.
  • Magenta would also get a portion (nice French maid outfit).

It’s actually quite good, campy fun for the most part, though I lost interest for the last twenty minutes.  I won’t be dressing up in stockings and suspenders for a late night showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show any time soon.

4/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest Must Die!

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Outpost (2007)

A group of mercenaries are hired to escort a business man into a remote area of war torn Eastern Europe.  Their mission leads them to a mysterious bunker, once the secret base of Nazis in World War II.  Suddenly under attack, the group find themselves in the midst of forces they cannot comprehend…

Nazi zombies!  Brilliant!  This film is well produced and thoroughly well acted.  The sense of paranoia grows through out the movie.  Using clever lighting and a small set, the feeling of claustrophobia builds within both cast and audience alike. outpost-2008-uk-horror

However, despite the gritty look and disturbing atmosphere, the last twenty minutes fell a bit flat.  I had held this movie in high esteem following my initial viewing a few years back.  Watching it again, I felt as disorientated as the characters at the end – but not in the way the Director would have wanted.  A great premise was lost in the final few minutes.

Maybe I’ve confused this film with the far better Dead Snow as years have gone by.  Either way, a bit more Nazi zombie would have been a good thing.  Never the less, I’d recommend Outpost as one to watch.

7/10

Godzilla

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What’s that?  Godzilla was last week?  Well never mind – I want to jump on that bandwagon anyway.

Here’s another item from my toy collection – an original Godzilla toy.  This an official Godzilla that I picked up years ago in Toys’R’Us.  I was about 24 at the time.

Godzilla stands about six inches tall, and is ready to stomp a mini Tokyo at any given moment.

I’ve not seen the new film yet, but the original is a classic – make sure you watch it.

Godzilla