Endoscopy Playlist

Last year was a nightmare. The worst part for me, beyond the pandemic, was my Farmer Giles playing up. I was in absolute agony, for months. The previously pleasant experience of seeing a friend to the coast became torture.

Over the years I’ve had several tattoos; fallen off a ramp whilst skateboarding and landed forehead first; fallen through a neighbours loft, shredding my foot in the process – plus many more ridiculous episodes of pain. None of them have ever hurt like the Emma Freuds giving you trouble, I can tell you. God bless all the mothers out there, because I have no doubt child birth is worse than a cat-arse-trophy like mine and I respect you all the more for going through with it.

After several weeks and months of treatment and examination by wonderful NHS staff, my ailment had been diagnosed as an anal fissure and I was mostly cured. I still pray every night that I have beaten this terrible affliction.

Part of the healing process was a visit to hospital for an endoscopy examination, i.e: a camera up the bum. The problem was determined, and thus, this was purely a precautionary measure.

My examination was held at the Nuffield hospital in Chester, who were helping the local NHS heroes in a dire time. I was somewhat apprehensive, but was very well looked after by the nurses and doctors there. I had fasted for hours. Then, I had to wait in a rather grand, clean white room, wearing my surgical gown.

Whilst waiting for the exam, I was entertained by music playing around the hospital ward. It was a mixture of classic pop, rock and disco, mostly from the Seventies, and I enjoyed every second. Tapping my fingers and singing along, I was relaxed and optimistic for the procedure. I was so happy, I made a mental note of as many songs as I could remember and created this playlist.

Here is the playlist, which I recommend to lighten your spirits in adverse moments!

  • ABBA – “Take a Chance on Me”
  • Rainbow – “Since You’ve Been Gone”
  • Toto – “Hold the Line”
  • Blondie – “One Way or Another”
  • Buggles – “Video Killed the Radio Star”
  • Rod Stewart – “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”
  • Yvonne Elliman – “If I Can’t Have You”
  • Bee Gees – “Jive Talkin'”
  • Stevie Wonder – “Superstition”
  • Wild Cherry – “Play That Funky Music”
  • Boston – “More Than a Feeling”
  • Kiss – “I Was Made for Loving You”
  • T-Rex – “Get It On”
  • The O’Jays – “Love Train”
  • Hues Corporation – “Rock the Boat”
  • Genesis – “Follow You, Follow Me”
  • Boney M – “Daddy Cool”
  • The Nolans – “I’m in the Mood for Dancing”

Those are all the songs I could remember (the gas they gave me may have blurred some of my memory). But what a great selection of songs! I’ll bet anyone would feel ecstatic with tunes like those to cheer you up.

One thing that made me laugh, was waiting for the doctor to visit me with a camera to go up the nether eye whilst “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” was blaring out. That song was so inappropriate I couldn’t help but chortle.

This blog was brought to you in association with the Viz Profanisaurus, a modern work of literary genius.

Bring Your Own Vinyl Night #10

Bring Your Own Vinyl Night

Queen’s Head, Mold

Friday 2nd December 2016

“Another Vinyl Night, Daddy?” my six year old daughter asked.  Yes, sweetie, another!  After a bit of a quiet stretch, there seems to have been a little more vinyl action recently.  Well I ain’t complaining!

Back to the Queen’s Head in Mold for another Bring Your Own Vinyl Night, arranged/organised by Halcyon Dreams and VOD music.  You know the routine by now: play a 15 minute set of whatever tunes you like, vinyl only.

I travelled up with my good pal Brother Adam.  We got to the pub nice and early and had some food before the music started.  Happy to report that the food was very good indeed – I ordered BBQ pulled pork tacos, and they were mighty fine!

Next up, it was my turn on the decks.  This time I played the following:

Revolting Cocks – Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?

I was in the mood for slaying with some off the wall crazy tunes.  Revolting Cocks (or RevCo, if you’re in polite company) are an offshoot of Industrial giants Ministry, so this take on the old Rod Stewart cheese fest was sure gonna rock the house.  Imagine the seventies original put in a blender with sleazy guitars and a big, head throbbing beat and you’re most of the way there.  Ideal for any strip club.  This song can be found on the “Linger Ficken’ Good” album, though my version was from a clear vinyl 12″ that came in a liquid filled plastic sleeve.  The liquid looks very dodgy.

Vince Taylor – Brand New Cadillac

Absolute classic old school rockabilly mayhem from Vince Taylor, this version is from a recent acquisition called “Rockabilly’s Gravest Hits”.  That record is well worth the money.  I originally heard The Clash’s cover version on their “London Calling” album; years later I wound up jamming this song in a band practice.  It’s highly addictive, full throttle rock and roll and I love it. dz

Dread Zeppelin – Heartbreaker (At the End of Lonely Street)

For anyone not in the know, Dread Zeppelin specialise in reggae styled covers of Led Zeppelin songs.  With an Elvis impersonator on vocals.  This song, from a 12″ single, is a mash-up of Zep’s “Heartbreaker”, with “Heartbreak Hotel” thrown in for good measure.  Great fun and surprisingly good – the novelty factor works well on this number.

So there you have it – another great Bring Your Own Vinyl Night.  As it was the Christmas special, there was a buffet to enjoy as well as the great music.  Thanks to everyone, it was a great night.  Looking forward to more in 2017!

The Halcyon Dreams blogspot is here.

The Halcyon Dreams mixcloud page is here.

The Halcyon Dreams Facebook page is here.

The VOD music website is here.