Tag Archives: lap dance

Big Tits Halloween Horror Fest

Posted on by
Reply

Big Tits Zombie (2010)

Yes, you read that title right.  Big Tits Zombie is trashy Japanese cinema, which I couldn’t resist picking up after reading about it in Bizarre magazine.  Hey, it only cost me £3!

Basically, this is the same strippers and zombies scenario as we’ve seen in Jenna Jameson’s Zombie Strippers, the only difference being this version features cute Japanese girls (rather than sexy American girls).  As per previous, the dancers inadvertently raise the dead and then have to survive the ensuing zombie apocalypse. btz

There’s actually a lot less smut on display than the title would suggest.  Instead we get some fairly amusing scenes of the girls trying to endure their boring day job, plus the addition of some martial arts when it’s zombie killing time.

Sadly, the special effects are lame CGI and the undead themselves are the least convincing zombies I’ve ever seen.  A shame – with better attention to detail this could have been a half decent horror spoof.

Don’t let the title put you off, Big Tits Zombie is very tame in the flesh revealing department, and actually features some mind boggling pop culture.  Worth a go if you have any interest in films that are just plain odd!

6/10

Scream (1996)

As I’ve stated previously, I’ve never been much of a slasher film fan.  I saw Scream nearly twenty years ago, not long after the film came out, and found it only mildly entertaining.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that I really enjoyed it second time around. scream

The story centres around a group of high school teenagers, who are terrorised via phone (that’s a landline, kids!) and killed off.  Which sounds very unoriginal, right?  Well the clever thing is that Scream doesn’t try to be completely original, rather the film is happy to exploit the audiences expectations and play with them, tongue slotted into cheek.

All very post modern and self referential, but at the end of the day the film stands or falls on it’s ability to scare – which it manages to do very well.  The tension builds, characters face jeopardy and the audience is kept on the edge of its seat.

Scream succeeds in avoiding self parody and provides loads of thrills.  There are enough nods to it’s predecessors to keep the slasher fans smirking knowingly.  Good performances and quick dialogue made me glad I gave Scream another chance.

8/10

Hallowe’en Horror Fest Strippers

Posted on by
1

Zombie Strippers (2008)

A covert group of military commandos are summoned to deal with a chemical outbreak that is turning people into zombies.  It’s a tough job, and one zombie manages to escape.  To hide out in a nearby illegal, underground strip club, in case you didn’t guess.

In the strip club, the expected bitchiness escalates to new levels when one of the dancers is attacked, and becomes a zombie herself.  The insane appreciation of the customers persuades more girls to succumb to the undead, until eventually the inevitable surge of zombies threatens to destroy all… Zombie_strippers

This sounds ridiculous, right?  I mean, the title says it all: Zombie Strippers.

And yet this film is very entertaining, although not particularly ground breaking.  There are quite a few laughs, and tons of gore.  Zombie Strippers is totally over the top, and decides to deliver as many thrills as possible.  Having said that, there are enough wry winks at the camera (and pseudo philosophy) to show that the film makers at least tried to give this movie some substance.

On the whole the performances are excellent.  Robert Englund (yes, him) is great as the utter scum bag club owner, and seems to be having lots of fun with tongue wedged in cheek.  Jenna Jameson also does a commendable job, showing her glamorous skills  and really getting her teeth into her part.  You can tell that Jenna also knows this film is mental, but damn it she puts on a great show.

And let’s face it, the titillation is always going to be a big draw for this movie.  The girls are gorgeous indeed, but not for long.  Soon all hell breaks loose and any sexiness is right out the window.

So keep your mind open and you might be pleasantly surprised by Zombie Strippers.  It’s far better than you might fear.  But if it’s cheesy, over the top blood and gore you’re after, you’re gonna love it.

8/10

Platinum Lounge Rocks!

Posted on by
Reply

On Friday 6th September 2013, I was at the Platinum Lounge as part of a leaving do for my great friend and colleague, Ben the Swede.  He was going off to be a hobo on the streets of London, begging for loose change off commuters.  No doubt he would hitch down there, then spend his nights sleeping in a cardboard box with only a stray dog for company.

To celebrate Ben’s move to pastures new, we were all out and about painting the town red as only us filthy tramps know how.  There was a rumour that the Platinum Lounge was having a rock weekend.  The rumours were true.

Rock night at the Platinum Lounge featured the best music I have ever heard in any establishment in Chester.  It left other venues in the dust as the Lounge dared to play the tunes that would rock other clubs to their foundations.

It was a truly legendary night.  Here’s the playlist – or at least, what my compadres and I remember.

  1. Run DMC & Aerosmith – “Walk This Way”
  2. Ugly Kid Joe – “I Hate Everything About You”
  3. Soundgarden – “Black Hole Sun”
  4. Fleetwood Mac – “Go Your Own Way”
  5. ZZ Top – “Legs”
  6. Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
  7. Motley Crue – “Girls Girls Girls”
  8. Metallica – “Enter Sandman”
  9. Black Sabbath – “Paranoid”
  10. AC/DC – “Whole Lotta Rosie”
  11. Aerosmith – “Janie’s Got a Gun”
  12. The Cult – “She Sells Sanctuary”
  13. Rainbow – “Since You Been Gone”
  14. Alice Cooper – “Poison”
  15. Def Leppard – “Animal”
  16. Guns’n’Roses – “Sweet Child O’ Mine”
  17. AC/DC – “Back in Black”
  18. Jimi Hendrix Experience – “Foxy Lady”
  19. Fleetwood Mac – “The Chain”
  20. Bon Jovi – “Livin’ On a Prayer”
  21. Skid Row – “Youth Gone Wild”
  22. Dire Straits – “Money For Nothing”
  23. U2 – “Pride (In the Name of Love)”
  24. Bryan Adams – “Run to You”
  25. Billy Idol – “White Wedding”
  26. Pink Floyd – “Another Brick in the Wall”
  27. Rolling Stones – “Paint It Black”
  28. Santana – “Smooth”
  29. Whitesnake – “Here I Go Again”
  30. George Thorogood & the Destroyers – “Bad to the Bone”

OK, so I know the Ugly Kid Joe song sucks, but how many top tunes are there on that playlist?  I mean Soundgarden – you never hear Soundgarden played anywhere!  Especially not in Chester, where that sort of thing is punishable by whipping with a designer handbag.

Thanks to all at the Platinum Lounge for a great night.