How Do Fossils Form? by Eloise Jones

A rare guest contribution today, in the form of a piece of school work my daughter, Eloise (aged 10), wrote recently. Home schooling hasn’t been easy, but this piece really brightened my day. Great vocabulary and writing style, Eloise undoubtedly takes after me, haha!

I laughed out loud reading this explanation of how fossils are formed. Hope you enjoy Eloise’s masterpiece, and like meeting her two Tyrannosaurus Rex friends, Mick and Leon.

How Do Fossils Form? by Eloise Jones

So, everyone’s heard of dinosaurs, right? Wait, what did you just say?! You’ve heard of dinosaurs, but you have heard a thing called a fossil AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS?! Well, I might have to tell you because of my obsession with dinosaurs…

Well, it all starts with a dinosaur. Let’s say a herbivore was walking about, same day, no different, running away from dilophosaurus, and let’s go with a parasaurolophus, for a herbivore quite fast. At least 25 MILES PER HOUR! They were having a rest and woke up and said to themself; “YAWN!!! Man, I’m bored of sleeping all the time. OOoOooOo what’s that over there?????” 

He in fact saw the freshest, green, rich bush of leaves in weeks! He hadn’t had any for weeks, and finally a fresh bush would do him good. He ran over, excited. He started eating, and then when he was full, he lied down, full of fresh food. “Man”, he said, “I don’t feel too good”. He laid down, and died. What?! People have to die at some point, and he had been going for weeks without any good food.

THE NEXT DAY.

Two T – rexes were looking for food…

“And then, I pounced on him and did I have a stiff belly in bed that night. But that was the old days, hey, Mick? Eh?”

“Yep, I know about your cousin Rex who wanted to marry a Velocaraptor”.

“Yep, should have known you never listen. Next time I won’t listen to -”

“OH MY! LEON, LOOK!”

“What, you filthy two headed -”

“FOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Mick you miracle! I knew you were good for something-”

“Leon, stop telling me about your boring cousin, eh?”

So the two greedy T – rexes saw the food and they ate it up in one go. Then they ran off, not full, looking for more food – (and arguing about Leon’s cousin). But, what happened next? 

Well, that’s a good question. Since the dead body of the parasaurolophus was near a little lake, his bones got washed over with water and later on got turned into mud, his body got turned into stone. Then I think you can guess what happened next. WHAT?! YOU HAVE NO CLUE?! Alright, I’ll tell you.

Millions of years later, archaeologists came into the game, wondering about a question they’ve always asked; Are the bones of a dinosaur still around, buried deep in the ground? Well some very clever archaeologists dug up some bones and named them fossils. Now you get it? Good!

Bye, thank you for reading my funny docs about how fossils have formed over millions of years. Buh – Bye, now! 

Horrible Histories Playlist

My daughter Eloise had her 8th birthday last weekend.  At the moment, she’s a big fan of the BBC children’s TV series, Horrible Histories, and requested a party based on that theme.

If you’re not familiar with Horrible Histories, let me tell you it’s well worth checking it.  Both funny and informative, the show makes history appeal to kids (and adults) by illuminating some unusual – and sometimes gross – facts from various periods throughout the past.

We’ve all become big fans in our house, actually.  So the party was going to be fun – everyone could dress up as historical characters and entertainment geared to the theme.

Only one thing remained – some music suitable for days gone by.  Not having much music in my collection that was actually from previous ages, I had to dig out some tunes that could fit the bill.  Here’s what I came up with…

  1. Hanna-Barbera – “(Meet) The Flintstones [Main Title]”
  2. The Bangles – “Walk Like an Egyptian”
  3. Mikis Theodorakis – “Zorbas”
  4. Iron Maiden – “Alexander the Great”
  5. ABBA – “Waterloo”
  6. Chuck Berry – “Roll Over Beethoven”
  7. Boney M. – “Rasputin”
  8. Clutch – “Abraham Lincoln”
  9. Trio Guadalajara – “La Bamba”
  10. De Danaan – “The Cameronian Reel/The Doon Reel”
  11. Iron Maiden – “Ghengis Khan”
  12. Mariachi Mexico de Pepe Villa – “El Jarbe Tapatio (Mexican Hat Dance)”
  13. Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers – “Egyptian Reggae”
  14. Madness – “Night Boat to Cairo” 
  15. Sweet – “Alexander Graham Bell”
  16. Rodrigo Y Gabriela – “Vikingman”
  17. Iron Maiden – “Invaders”
  18. The Kinks – “Victoria”
  19. Boney M. – “Ma Baker”
  20. Sweet – “Wig Wam Bam”
  21. Mikis Theodorakis – “Varka Sto Gialo”
  22. Bananarama – “Venus”
  23. Tom Jones – “Delilah”
  24. The Beatles – “Roll Over Beethoven”
  25. Christina Aguilera – “Candyman”
  26. The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra – “The Raiders March”
  27. Eric Rogers – “Carry On Cleo”
  28. Eric Rogers – “Carry On Up the Khyber”

Ok, so some of those tracks are less scraping the barrell and more like digging the dust on an archaeological dig, but it did the job.  Basically, without Iron Maiden I’d have been screwed…

Ye Olde Kings Head – Mostly Haunted

Ye Olde Kings Head

Chester

Would you dare to stay a night in a 300 year old pub, in one of it’s most haunted bedrooms?  Sound like fun?  I wasn’t 100% convinced, but that’s what Mrs Platinum Al and I decided to do recently.

You’re familiar with Most Haunted, right?  Where Yvette Fielding and her intrepid group of paranormal investigators visit aged buildings to discover what ghostly goings on they can find?  Well Ye Olde Kings Head in Chester, was featured on the programme not too long ago.  We watched the programme and were intrigued by the various strange occurrences the team observed.

So Mrs Platinum Al decided she wanted to stay the night there.  In the room that was supposedly the most active with things that go bump in the night…

Not like that, you smutty lot!

Ye Olde Kings Head is a wonderful looking building in the Tudor style – dark wooden beams highlighting the architecture.  Inside, the pub also has a real Olde Worlde, traditional style with plenty more wooden beams, comfy chairs and an open fire.  It is indeed very charming – you would swear you’re on a film set if you didn’t know better.  There’s also a well stocked bar, live music and a friendly welcome. 

We were staying in Room 1 – supposedly the most active in the paranormal activity stakes.  The room featured an enormous four poster bed and antique looking furniture.  There were yet more old wooden beams visible, these ones a bit lower – OK for any headless spirits.  An excellent spacious bathroom completed the impressive amenities.  All very cosy and not at all spooky, I wasn’t nervous at all.

Now I’m not necessarily a believer in the supernatural.  There’s usually a plausible real world explanation for most weird events.  However I’m not a total nay-sayer either; I’m certainly interested, and if something truly bizarre occurred I’d accept it.  But it would have to be pretty out of this world and happen right in front of my eyes.

After a few drinks and a top notch evening meal, we retired to our room to begin our own paranormal investigations.  With a glass of wine (or two) for Dutch courage, we waited to see if anything would happen.  We closely observed everything in the room to see if any objects had moved.

In true Derek Acorah style, we attempted some “calling out”.  You  know, all that “Is there anybody there?” malarkey.  No, I can’t believe I did that either.  I assured our ghostly hosts – if they were there – that we meant no harm and were only curious if they would like to make contact.

Unfortunately, nothing happened.  No otherworldly voices, no items moving of their own inexplicable accord.

Although just as we were falling asleep, the television switched itself on.

Now that occurrence might be explainable in many ways: a faulty TV for one.  But the fact that the same thing had happened on the Most Haunted episode had us intrigued.  I’m not saying I was convinced, but it was an interesting coincidence.

I then fell asleep in the giant four poster, easily the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in.  Happily I slept right the way through; my main concern of this visit was having to go for a wee, in the dark, in the middle of the night.

In the morning we had a great full English breakfast and were ready for a new day.

Our investigation at Ye Olde Kings Head didn’t deliver much in the way of ghostly goings on, but we definitely had a brilliant time.  We were well looked after, with the food and drinks being excellent.  Both the pub and the room we stayed in were really warm with an almost magical ambience.

We’ll definitely visit again, and attempt some further paranormal investigations.  Perhaps it was a little disappointing that we didn’t experience anything strange.  But we both had a relaxing break in a really good pub, and that’s good enough for me.

The website for Ye Olde Kings Head is here.

The Facebook page for Ye Olde Kings Head is here.

Ye Olde Kings Head, 48-50 Lower Bridge Street, Chester CH1 1RS

Tel: 01244 324855