Imagine, if you will, a baked pie that tastes so good, it can stop crime and make the streets safe. A flavour so amazing that evil doers will stop in their tracks and abandon their crazy schemes of chaos and destruction. Such a pie does exist: it is the Hostess Fruit Pie.
We’ve discussed the joy of Hostess products on this page a while back, when I considered the not inconsiderable charm of the Twinkie. But for me, the true classic is the fruit pie.
Hostess Fruit Pie
I first ate one of these amazing creations in my late twenties, on my first trip to the USA. Available in several flavours, it was the cherry version that quickly became my favourite. The others were OK, but cherry was supreme.
Like the Twinkie, I was first made aware of the Hostess Fruit Pie via advertisements in Marvel and DC comic books, that I read as a kid. After years of drooling over these unobtainable treats, I finally got to try one on that American trip.
They are now available in the UK, the sample pictured here was bought from an American sweet shop in Chester. They still taste great. If you get chance, and if tooth destroying sweetness is your thing, I suggest you indulge in the Hostess Fruit Pie.
Here’s an example of one of those adds that hooked me in as a child. Each one featured an established superhero foiling the plans of some wacky menace with the assistance of the pie (or Twinkies, or Cup Cakes, whatever). Marketing genius. It took me twenty years and a flight across an ocean, but eventually the pie would be mine.
Poland’s mighty Dopelord return with a humongously heavy album of slow rolling, occult driven doom on “Songs for Satan”. Released via Blues Funeral Recordings, they’re celebrating the work of Lucifer in their temple of stoner sludge, and you’re invited. Throw on your hooded robes and join the throng!
Of course the songs are slow and heavy, and Dopelord manage to stamp their mark on the stoner-doom template by adding melody to their powerful, drawn out compositions. Whilst the music rumbles along demonically, the vocals add a surprising, idiosyncratic sheen. ‘Night of the Witch’ is executed in perfect, scuzzy doom style. ‘Evil Spell’ is skull crushingly heavy, but both tracks feature sing along choruses that will steal your soul as well.
It’s difficult to get all the lyrical intent on this album without a lyric sheet, but it’s safe to say that the message here is a direct and scathing criticism of the Catholic church in Dopelord’s home country. Whereas many a doom band is content to revel in Hammer Horror/Dennis Wheatley themes, Dopelord have taken this typical 1970s influence and added a real-world attack on religion too.
The album is book-ended by instrumentals, the latter of which, ‘Return to the Night of the Witch’, comfortably re-establishes “Songs for Satan” in the dreamlike, mellotron-soaked occult realm. It’s a fine album, melding inexorable, fuzzy doom with themes of devil worship and hellfire. Dopelord’s latest is genuinely well crafted, spell binding stuff. I wouldn’t bother sending them a Christmas card, though.
Pentre Fest is a big deal to me. And I’ll bet it means a lot to plenty of other people too, who are just as keen to enjoy this festival of underground – but not unloved – metal bands. I look forward to this event every year. I mean, after the Christmas festivities, how else are you gonna survive the misery of January?
Yours truly was the lone representative for Ever Metal at Pentre this year, so all the reviews were my responsibility. I tried to see as many acts as I could, but it wasn’t always possible. And so I can cover as much ground as poss, the summaries will be short and sweet this year. But trust me, I’ll keep you on the straight and narrow.
The festival began on Friday evening, Edd Case and his acoustic set on the new outdoor Keymo stage being my introduction. It’s a proper stage this year, with steps and everything. Edd played a great set of acoustic tracks, including some Maiden, Neil Young (nice Soundgarden segue/tribute) and plenty more. Most impressive.
Heading inside, Omega Throne was on next. Their set was an exciting blend of Death/Black Metal, with some intriguingly dark, gothic elements peppered through the songs. A great set that combined power and fury with a little mystique.
That was followed by the lunatic genius of Mad Spanner. Now a one-man band of crazed thrash metal with a backing track, Mike aka Mad Spanner offers brilliant musicianship, wry humour and furious energy. I’m still recovering from this set, God know how he does it.
Back inside and Bloodmores were up next. This was a great set of pounding, heavy Thrash/Death metal, excellently played and with a surprising amount of foot stomping groove.
Tonight’s original headliners, I Saw The World Burn, were sadly unable to play. We sincerely hope all is well in that camp. At the final hour, however, Cadence Noir were able to fill the headline spot with their gothic tinged folk punk’n’roll. Cadence can always be counted on to get everyone jumping and jigging around, and they did a fine job of finishing Day the First of Pentre Fest.
Saturday’s wake-up call was DAM.G, alias Rob from Thrashatouille’s “grown up band” (not my observation, but one overheard on the day!). A melting pot of progressive metal with Rob’s growl augmented by phenomenal female co-lead vocals, it was certainly a powerful and memorable set.
Outside was a pleasant surprise: the disco funk of Mrs Gizlo. Who’d have expected that? Not me, but it was great fun to hear something different and it certainly got the crowd moving.
In Which It Burns took to the indoor stage next, and gave as a relentless set of thrash metal. It was only mid-afternoon and these Pembrokeshire ragers delivered the goods with super-fast, aggressive tracks. Nice work.
Liverpool’s Ogun were on the main stage next, with some meaty thrash metal of their own. Fast and brutal, I really enjoyed these guys and their total take-no-prisoners approach. Wish I’d bought a t-shirt.
It was freezing outside, so deep apologies from me to the various artists I missed outside, whilst huddled inside with a pint. North Wales Deathcore deviants Dystopian Sun kept the fires burning with some intense yet bouncy metal that roared by like a Sasquatch driving a stolen pick-up truck.
Rule of Six had an early start on Saturday morning. Whilst most of us were still hiding from encroaching hangovers, these lads set off at 4am to get from Northern Ireland to North East Wales for this gig. I’ve never seen so many guitars on stage (four plus a bass!) but all Rule of Six’s instruments were well employed, with their melodic metal proving an uplifting and thrilling experience. Maiden comparisons are a bit obvious, but apt. Great show and nice contrast to much of the bands so far.
From one band who crowded out the main stage, to another band who spent little time on it: Broken Jaw refused to be restrained and preferred to wander around the room! Their blend of punk energy and attitude with metal riffery made sure no-one in the audience was allowed to put their feet up.
Afterward, I dared to make a rare venture outside to witness Skinflick, who I’d heard very good things about. This two-piece outfit gave us some filthy Industrial EDM dripping with sleazy beats – another very cool divergence from the expected.
Beyond Salvation made their way to Pentre from Manchester, and pretty much laid waste to all with a blistering set of thrash metal. The band were both brutal and energetic, with superb playing, that kept the gig going on full steam. There was no chance for the audience to flag here!
I’m actually gutted that I missed SOOTO out on the Keymo Stage. Blame the cold, blame the drink, blame me for being useless: I should’ve been there, sorry. Can we get SOOTO back please? I promise I’ll pay attention this time.
Every year at Pentre Fest, there’s at least one band that I go full-on Fan Boy for. This year’s recipients of the accolade were the amazing Struck/Down, who played huge sounding groove metal riffs that immediately had me hooked like a fish. For me, Struck/Down were the best band of the weekend by a distance. T-shirt purchase? Tick. CD purchase? Tick.
Finally, our last band of a fantastic event were Extreme Metal leviathans Krysthla. The foot was down on the pedal as Krysthla hurtled us through the last set of the weekend with a rapid fire, unrelenting batch of songs.
And that was it, Pentre Fest was over for another year. I’ve been downhearted ever since, missing the camaraderie and fell-good vibes of the event – not to mention the out of this world music. Thanks and huge respect to Fozzy and Beany, North East Wales Metal Productions, McClean’s, and all the bands and crew who made this happen.
Whitby is a beautiful seaside town in North Yorkshire, England. Facing the North Sea, the port is surrounded by streets of old buildings and framed by the church of St. Mary and the ancient, ruined abbey, over looking all that sits below. It’s a lively and welcoming town that offers a wealth of history and a vibrant atmosphere.
One of several claims to fame that Whitby can boast is it’s enduring connection to the story of Dracula. The book’s writer, Bram Stoker, visited Whitby and was inspired by the local scenery and folklore in creating his novel and the infamous character. With the Count now deeply entrenched in popular culture, it’s often a surprise that his original site of landing in England was this Yorkshire fishing port.
Whitby Harbour
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Of course, the Whitby Goth Weekends – which take place twice a year – celebrate the connection to the Lord of Vampires, but our trip wasn’t timed to coincide with those events. It was Mrs Platinum Al’s birthday trip to a place she’d wanted to visit for years, with or without Goths.
I’d been once before on a school trip in the early 1980s. Back then, the Dracula association wasn’t clear to me, though the memorial to explorer Captain James Cook was. Stoker’s Dracula is my favourite book, so that was the primary inspiration for both of us on this trip.
The town is full of old pubs, new yet stylish bars, cafes and bistros. We ate very well on our trip, particularly the fish & chips. The tantalising smell of fish & chips whilst exploring the streets was incredible – highly recommended to enjoy some on your visit. We ate in The Magpie, right on the harbour front, and the food was excellent.
There didn’t seem to be many big brand, typical high street shops. Instead, we found many small independent establishments, with lots of antique and curiosity shops that provided plenty of wonder. There were a handful of the usual seaside souvenir shops, plus several shops selling alternative/goth/rock gear of every imaginable variety. The Child was very impressed and spent a small fortune.
199 StepsGraveyard
The highlight of our Whitby trip was appreciating some of the local features that famously appear in Dracula. We walked up the 199 steps to the graveyard – not easy, but less exhausting than it sounds. Naturally (for any Dracula fan, at least) we had a look round the graveyard, and St. Mary’s church as well.
Although in ruins, the Abbey at the very top of the headland is an ominous sight: it’s easy to imagine Stoker being inspired by the view. It was dark and foreboding on the day we visited – which was entirely appropriate – but fascinating never the less. We were also able to pick up some brilliant merch in the giftshop!
One final attraction I’ll mention was the Dracula Experience, which has a kind of Haunted House/Ghost Train at the funfair feel. It was there I saw a cape once worn by the legendary Christopher Lee when he played the Vampire Count. Other than that, we practically ran through the entire attraction, driven by the fear of whatever lurked in the dark and may jump out at us. Great fun!
Our Whitby roadtrip was pretty much perfect, with something for everyone. From the quaint and historic views, to the great food and warm welcome, we all thoroughly enjoyed our visit and will definitely return. Goth weekend next, maybe?
Platinum Al's Virtual Hot Tub 