Cathryn & Jarrod’s Wedding

9th November 2013

A few weeks ago, I was honoured to be Best Man for my friend Jarrod at his wedding to Cathryn.  For the sake of posterity, I thought I would publish my speech on this blog.

What follows is the final draft of the speech, though some parts were embellished or ad libbed on the day.  In particular, there was no script for the Generation Game section towards the end.  I rehearsed this part solo and winged it on the day.  Thanks to superb support it worked well.

The concept of the game was to replicate the conveyor belt memory game from the television show, using various items that would have some sort of recognition for the groom.  Obviously there was no real conveyor belt…

Feedback was very positive, for which I was grateful.  The whole day was a real success and all the guests enjoyed it – a truly memorable occasion.

So thanks again Jaz and Cathryn – and all the best for your future together.

The Speech

Hi, I’m Al, and it’s my great honour to be Best Man for Jarrod at his wedding to Cathryn.

It’s a great privilege to be chosen for this role.  I’ve know both the Bride and Groom for many years – in fact, it was me who introduced them!

Jarrod and I went to school together, and have had lots of laughs over the years with an array of comedy geniuses and ne’er do wells – many of whom are here today.

There have been Posse Nights in Chester; a 24 hour Carry On Filmathon; and trips to Berlin and Barmouth.  We’ve been car surfing at 60 miles an hour down country lanes, and created a very popular magazine to embarrass and ridicule our friends.  There have been nights out at the Tiv in Buckley to see Voulez Vouz – an Abba tribute band; Barry Coppack’s stag do in Amsterdam and Jarrod’s own stag do at Rewind Festival.

Also, for a time we did live together.  But not in that way.  No offence, Baz!

Yes, Jarrod was my lodger at my home in Ewloe.  So I think I’ve got to know Jaz fairly well over the years.  The obsession with all things 1980’s, his sense of humour – he even got me to go and watch his beloved Wrexham FC.

I met Cathryn sometime around 1999, working at TMB in Chester.  A few years later we were working in the same team again.  I’ve always got on well with Cathryn as she’s great fun.  One afternoon, a group of us were returning from a works outing when Cathryn asked the fateful question: “Have any of you lads got any nice, single mates?”

At this point, two names sprang to my mind.  One was, of course, Jarrod.  The other option was a certain silver tongued cavalier who shall remain nameless.  Believe me, that would have been a VERY different wedding, if that had happened…

Luckily for Cathryn she went for Option Number 1, and the rest, as they say, is history.  Cilla Black’s got nothing on me!

At this point I really should thank Cathryn and Jarrod’s parents for all they’ve one to make this day possible.  It’s been fantastic. 

And I should also mention the bridesmaids, who look wonderful.  Vanessa and I would like to thank the bride and groom for asking our daughter Eloise to be a bridesmaid.  She looks fantastic as a Princess Bridesmaid, we’re very proud of her!

So here’s a toast to the bridesmaids, thank you for everything you do to make the day special.

Now I really must tell you a story about the groom.  As I mentioned earlier,  there have been numerous adventures I’ve had with Jarrod over the years.  Deciding on one story to tell you hasn’t been easy.  Especially when Cathryn heard about some of the material I was going to use for this speech…

Doing my research for this speech, I happened upon a guide which recommended that stories about the groom should show him in a positive light.  It should be funny, but not derogatory, and add a nice personal touch.

But none of those stories were really all that good, so here’s my favourite:

This takes place back when Jarrod and I were students.  He was in Hull, and I was in Sheffield.  We arranged for Jaz to come to Sheffield for a visit and meet up with a couple of other local lads, Hughey and Neil “The Player” Edwards.

So we all went out for a few drinks round the pubs in Sheffield, before we ended up at the notorious Sheff 1 night club.  I say notorious as it was considered a bit of a meat market.  It was the sort of place that made Desperate & Easy look like Hawarden Women’s Institute.

As the night wore on, the dance floor was busy and we had a few more pints.  We noticed after a while that the group of four had dwindled to three: Jaz was no longer with us.  He didn’t return after half an hour, or even after a full hour.  When he hadn’t returned by the end of the night, we thought he must have got lucky…

The three of us who were left were very happy for him, “Well done Jaz!  Get in, son!”.

Eventually we all went home, still no sign of Jarrod.  It had been a late night and I got home about 3.30 in the morning.  Just as I was getting ready to turn in for the night, the phone rang.  Who was that phoning at four in the morning?  Ridiculous!

I picked up the receiver.  “Al?”  It was Jaz!

“Where did you get to, eh?”  I asked.

“I fell asleep in the toilets.  I’ve just woken up.”

So that was it.  No amorous adventures, Jarrod had just had a few too many and fallen asleep in a filthy nightclub toilet.

Now that story doesn’t say much about Jarrod’s character, but I will say this:

It’s been a pleasure to know Jarrod over the years.  He’s been a great friend and voice of reason in my life.  Jarrod is not only a decent fellow, he’s also intelligent and successful.  His greatest attribute is his sense of humour – as long as I’ve known him Jarrod has always made me laugh.  Sentiments that I’m sure his many other friends gathered here would echo.

Cathryn, you definitely picked the right guy with Jarrod.  He’s a great bloke and I know the two of you have a great future together.

GAME

Please everybody, raise your glasses and join me in a toast to the bride and groom…