Tag Archives: horror

Torso – Brain Cells Album Review

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Torso – Brain Cells 

APF Records 

Release date: 13/09/2024 

Running time: 31 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9.5/10 

Friday night.  I’ve just been down to the local video shop, had a scan of the horror section, took my time deciding which film to rent.  If it’s good I’ll watch it at least three times before I bring it back tomorrow.  Go for the one with the craziest sounding name and the most gonzoid image on the cover.  Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I just want to know which offers the most brain destroying, off the wall, lurid descent into madness..  Pay up and leg it home, video tape in hand.  Urgently load the clunky VHS player and wait for the image on screen to stop crackling and reveal its gory beauty… 

‘Brain Cells’ by horror metal deviants Torso bursts forth with a frantic commotion.  This is album number two from ex-Possessor frontman/guitarist Graham Bywater in his new guise as the Dark Lord of Grindhouse Schlock Terror.  APF records haven’t so much released this album, as unlocked the gates, stood well back and unleashed it upon the world in a tidal wave of bloody fury. 

Starting with the intense thrash of ‘You Belong in Hell’, the lo-fi atmosphere is captured perfectly.  Not that the production is poor, but this whole album has the vibe of an ancient cassette that’s been used and re-used many times.  Probably starting with Huey Lewis, then taped over with some early Maiden, then repeatedly re-recorded on again until it features Carcass and Entombed.   

As before, songs are peppered with random movie samples (good luck tracking the sources down, I’m stumped already), though there’s noticeably less of the John Carpenter-inspired keyboard instrumentals this time around.  No matter, the drive-in B-movie atmosphere is ever present here – both ‘Savage Magic’ and ‘Brain Cells’, in particular, help see to that. 

Key highlights you won’t want to miss include ‘Deep Space Death Trap’ with its unforgiving, virulent chorus and raw, fuzzed up riffs; and ‘Hex Pest’, which roars along as if possessed by a filthy, NWOBHM-obsessed demon biker. 

“Brain Cells” is an underground garage-metal thrill ride from opening act to final curtain.  It’s glorious, murderous fun for all – you’ll want to rewind and go from the start again, as soon as it’s finished.  A nasty, blood splattered triumph for Torso and a Top Ten of 2024 album for me.   

Find out more about Torso on Bandcamp and their APF Records page.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Son of Halloween Horror Fest 2024

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Delivering another deadly double dose of Halloween Horror Fest, can you take it??!

Saw (2004)

Saw is a very clever twist on the serial killer tale. Here, two dudes – strangers to each other – wake up in a grotty bathroom, chained up, not knowing how they got there, or why. Clue: they’re not on a stag night. One is Dr Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes), and both men are trapped, taunted by the Jigsaw Killer with a series of clues. Jigsaw is a killer who likes to test his victims tenacity – their very will to survive – in a series of “games”.

It’s very difficult to explain the plot of Saw without giving too much away. Suffice to say that the back story is revealed through glimpses, as slowly the narrative falls into place – like a jigsaw – and the mysteries of circumstances and survival are resolved.

Usually I like my horror supernatural, but I’m not adverse to a good old psycho killer story. Saw is an ingenious film, with twists and turns coming from everywhere, as the viewer pieces everything together. It’s gruesome, it’s harrowing, but over all Saw is absolutely enthralling. If you’ve not seen it, make sure you see Saw.

Everyone does the ‘see saw’ gag, right?

Note: I met Cary Elwes once, and he was one of the nicest, most down to earth people you could meet. A genuine gentleman.

8.5/10

Son of Dracula (1943)

Although the 1930s are often considered the golden days of Universal horror, the studio was still delivering classics in the 40s, as far as I’m concerned. Only the third in Universal’s Dracula series, there’s no Bela Lugosi here, but it’s a well plotted and inventive film.

The vampire of the title is played here by Lon Chaney Jr. He plays Count Alucard, an Eastern European nobleman visiting the United States as a guest of Katherine Caldwell (Louise Allbritton). Katherine, a keen student of the occult, is engaged to Frank Stanley (Robert Paige), though obviously captivated by the Count.

Following the unexpected death of their father, Katherine and her sister Claire (Evelyn Ankers) are his benefactors. Katherine opts to take just their mansion “Dark Oaks”, after which she marries Alucard and rejects Frank. The local doctor, aiding Frank, has become suspicious. Eventually they conclude that Alucard is a vampire, and decide to deal with the situation appropriately…

Chaney’s casting isn’t quite right for this role, but he makes a fair attempt. What makes Son of Dracula an intriguing watch cunning plot twists, and how cleverly the story creates a new spin on an old tale, evading the obvious. I really enjoyed this film and happily recommend it.

8.5/10

Return of the Living Halloween Horror Fest

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Two horror reviews for you this time, friends! Read on, if you dare…

The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)

The second instalment in a series of Frankenstein films produced by Hammer, The Revenge of Frankenstein followed hot on the heels of its predecessor. The Curse of Frankenstein had been released the previous year, and was such a hit that a sequel was demanded. Despite, of course, the fact that the evil Baron had been executed at the finale last time.

No matter, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing, of course) is saved from death with a fairly sneaky twist, and is soon practicing medicine in a far off town. Going by the name of Doctor Stein (no one’s gonna figure that out, right?), the doc sets up a successful practice for wealthy patients, whilst also looking after the poor at a hospital.

Joined by a younger doctor, Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews) – who learns Dr Stein’s true identity and wants to learn from him – Frankenstein is soon up to his old tricks. This time around, his creation (Michael Gwynn) at least looks normal, if only at first. It isn’t long before the inevitable happens and everything goes downhill, big time.

The production looks quality and performances are great, in particular Cushing who brilliantly darts between menace and a steely charm. Some gory surgery provides the bloody horror required and The Revenge of Frankenstein admirably fulfils its role as gruesome entertainment. We just know that another sequel will be along soon!

8/10

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

So this is the film that establishes the concept of zombies eating brains, yeah? OK. One thing is for sure, this comedy-horror is not a sequel to Romero’s brilliant Night of the Living Dead. The Return of The living Dead is a very different beast, though still in a cult league of its own as a horror punk classic.

At a medical supply warehouse, two employees accidentally release a load of toxic gas which reanimates a cadaver and causes all kinds of health and safety high jinks. The morgue over the road has a crematorium, which seems ideal for permanently destroying the undead evidence. Until the escaping gas contaminates the clouds above, and rainfall on the nearby cemetery causes the dead to rise…

Oh, did I mention the gang of punks in the cemetery, waiting for their friend to finish work at the medical supply place? No? Well they are, and you can guess the rest.

This mid eighties movie is not something I’d usually watch. In fact, the main reason I wanted to watch this film is because of the legendary soundtrack, which features a load of awesome horror related punk bands like The Cramps, The Damned and TSOL. A vinyl copy has been on my shopping list for a long time, but I wanted to see the film first so I didn’t feel like too much of a fraud.

The film is pretty good fun, though. It’s fairly dumb and only occasionally does the black humour raise a smile, but The Return of the Living Dead was certainly worth a watch. It’s over the top – unapologetically so – but that’s part of it’s success. Disengage brain and go for it. The soundtrack is bloody great, by the way. I’ve got it on clear with red blood splattered vinyl. AT LAST!!!

7.5/10

Halloween Horror Fest Express

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Horror Express (1972)

All aboard! Take your seats please, ladies and gentlemen, for a ride of the Horror Express! This early seventies sci-fi horror features a familiar plot and a fine cast, so jump onboard and have your tickets ready…

It’s 1906, and British anthropologist/explorer Professor Saxton (Christopher Lee) is making his way back to Europe via the Trans Siberian Express from Shanghai to Moscow. Saxton has discovered the remains of an ancient missing link, frozen in the snow. A rival, Dr Wells (Peter Cushing) is also on the journey – and he’s curious just what Saxton has locked up in a huge wooden crate.

The humanoid begins to defrost and returns to life, escapes, and starts a murderous campaign aboard the train. The creature is a host for an extra-terrestrial intelligence, frozen for millions of years, but now keen to return to the stars. To accomplish this, the creature kills and absorbs the knowledge of it’s victims, taking on their appearance as well.

Wells, Saxton and other passengers deduce the nature of the creature’s plans, but can they destroy something that can assume the identity of its victims?

Horror Express is based on the novella Who Goes There? by John W Campbell, as was The Thing from Another World and of course, John Carpenter’s The Thing. Though not a patch on the later Carpenter film, Horror Express is a fascinating variation on the story, and manages to raise the tension capably. Telly Savalas is seen only fleetingly as a brutal Cossack, sadly, but the two leads are as dependable as ever.

A great film in it’s own right, and recommended for any fan who can’t get enough of Carpenter’s masterpiece.

8/10

Twins of Halloween Horror Fest

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Twins of Evil (1971)

You can’t go wrong with some good old fashioned Hammer Horror! Here we have Twins of Evil, the third and final part of Hammer’s Karnstein Trilogy, based on Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. We’ve already viewed the preceding movies – The Vampire Lovers and Lust For A Vampire – during previous Halloween Horror Fests, so let’s finish off the series.

Mary and Madeleine Collinson play two identical twin sisters, who are sent to live with their uncle and aunt after they become orphaned. Uncle Gustav – played with menace by the one and only Peter Cushing – is a puritanical zealot, keen on burning local young women at the stake. Gusatv’s stern attitude alienates both sisters, but Frieda in particular is keen to break away. She falls in with local wicked aristocrat Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas), who has become a vampire through his dabbling in black magic.

Soon Frieda follows the Count’s descent into vampirism. Will the witch hunting Brotherhood be able to destroy this evil? Will anyone be able to tell good sister from bad?

Regular readers will know I’m a huge Hammer fan. Whilst Twins of Evil is, for me, the weakest of the Karnstein Trilogy, it’s still great. The witch hunting angle lends a new and particularly horrific edge here (sad to see Judy Matheson exit so quickly) and Cushing is formidable in this role. Vampires, sorcery and some cheeky decolletage tick all the necessary boxes, and despite a rushed (but gruesome) ending, this is another Hammer triumph.

8/10

Halloween Horror Fest: Blood and Honey

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Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Yes, I couldn’t resist! Lured in by the novelty value of a Winnie the Pooh themed horror movie, I decided to give this bizarre mutation a viewing. The rights for Pooh Bear and his friends form the Hundred Acre Wood entered into the public domain in the USA recently, and these enterprising (or “deranged”) film-making fiends decided to revamp things a bit. Quite a bit, actually.

Having been abandoned by Christopher Robin when he grows up and leaves the wood, the remaining cuddly chums degenerate into psychopathic killers. The now adult Christopher Robin, with his fiancée, returns to the site of his youthful adventures and soon comes a cropper when he encounters the now feral Pooh and Piglet.

Things get worse when a group of female students, whilst renting a holiday cabin in the woods, also meet the murderous Pooh and Piglet – and the inevitable carnage ensues.

And that’s all you need to know, if you needed to know anything at all. One by one the characters are slaughtered as per the expected slasher movie routine – with plenty of gore, screaming and running about. To be fair, there are a few plot twists and some novel killing methods, and the lighting and colours look great on screen.

But the obvious fact that Pooh and Piglet are just blokes in masks makes the film look like a cheap Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off. Despite an original and crazy concept, we’ve seen it all before. One to watch purely for the novelty value, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey comes to a sticky end.

5/10

The Ghost of Halloween Horror Fest

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A crack of lightning; the roll of thunder; rain lashing at the window. Night has fallen, and the cold air nags at your bones with a morbid persistence. The wind moans, but cannot hide the strange calls off in the mountains. The children of the night, what music they make… Come closer, friend. It is time once again for Halloween Horror Fest…

That’s right, kids – Halloween Horror Fest! Throughout the month of October, I watch as many films that are appropriately fearsome, frightening, or just pure fun! Here at the Virtual Hot Tub is where you can catch up on my mini reviews of each movie, and enjoy spooky season and all it’s macabre delights!

The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)

We’ll start this year with a gem from good old Universal. You really can’t beat these old black & white movies for sheer atmosphere and nostalgia. I’ve never seen The Ghost of Frankenstein before, so was keen to tick it off my list.

Following on from the previous film in the series, Son of Frankenstein (1939), we again meet Ygor (Bela Lugosi), who discovers and rescues his old friend The Monster. This time, Frankenstein’s creation is played by Lon Chaney Jr, rather than Karloff. The pair travel to a new town to locate the younger son of Frankenstein, Ludwig (Cedric Hardwicke), where Ygor blackmails the doctor into revitalising the creature. A plan is set in motion to replace the monster’s criminal brain with a “good” brain, but some have their own ambitions motivating them…

Plot wise, I could tell exactly where this movie was headed from the off – there are no real surprises. And the lack of Karloff as the monster made me somewhat wary. But Chaney Jr has a good crack at it, and the rest of the cast (including Lionel Atwill) keep proceedings on track. Moody sets, great soundtrack and an enjoyable (though somewhat obvious) storyline helped make this film another triumph for Universal.

8/10

Comic Con Mania – Chester

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Comic Con Mania Chester

Saturday 6th July 2024

Chester Racecourse

There nearly wasn’t a Comic Con in Chester at all this year. Then suddenly, Monopoly Events swooped in and saved the day, in true caped crusader style. In the new guise of “Comic Con Mania” – which appears to be a series of smaller conventions across the country – the plans were back on.

With only a handful of celebrity guests and smaller space for merch stalls than some of the bigger cons, Chester was a refined affair. But I felt there was a good atmosphere, a sense of a local event that defied the odds and was determined to put on a good time.

Daughtertron and I decided to venture to Chester Racecourse and check things out. It had been two whole years since we last visited a convention in Chester – with this event happening right on our doorstep, it was a safe bet for an afternoon’s entertainment.

There were guests from Star Wars and Red Dwarf in attendance (and I really should’ve got an autograph from Mike Quinn, aka Nien Nunb in Return of the Jedi). But Daughtertron and I were happy exploring the stalls and finding some bargains to take home. I got a load of Marvel comic books. Now you’d think finding comics at a comic convention would be an easy task, but surprisingly I draw a blank at many cons.

Of course there were some fantastic costumes being worn by talented people, wandering all round the place. The Cosplay on view was really impressive as hopefully you can see from my photos here. Thanks to all of those who allowed me to take their photo, you’re very kind. I hope these pics do some justice to the time you’ve spent creating these outfits.

Comic Con Mania Chester was on a smaller scale than some of the bigger cons we’ve visited recently. Not surprising really, with another event happening not too far away in Aintree the next day – this may have impacted numbers and traders attending.

In my personal view, I had a fun few hours at Chester, it seemed well organised and it was a warm, friendly event. I’m looking forward to more in the future.

Whitby Road Trip – On the Trail of Dracula

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Whitby Abbey

A family road trip to Whitby, England

Whitby is a beautiful seaside town in North Yorkshire, England. Facing the North Sea, the port is surrounded by streets of old buildings and framed by the church of St. Mary and the ancient, ruined abbey, over looking all that sits below. It’s a lively and welcoming town that offers a wealth of history and a vibrant atmosphere.

One of several claims to fame that Whitby can boast is it’s enduring connection to the story of Dracula. The book’s writer, Bram Stoker, visited Whitby and was inspired by the local scenery and folklore in creating his novel and the infamous character. With the Count now deeply entrenched in popular culture, it’s often a surprise that his original site of landing in England was this Yorkshire fishing port.

Whitby Harbour
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Of course, the Whitby Goth Weekends – which take place twice a year – celebrate the connection to the Lord of Vampires, but our trip wasn’t timed to coincide with those events. It was Mrs Platinum Al’s birthday trip to a place she’d wanted to visit for years, with or without Goths.

I’d been once before on a school trip in the early 1980s. Back then, the Dracula association wasn’t clear to me, though the memorial to explorer Captain James Cook was. Stoker’s Dracula is my favourite book, so that was the primary inspiration for both of us on this trip.

The town is full of old pubs, new yet stylish bars, cafes and bistros. We ate very well on our trip, particularly the fish & chips. The tantalising smell of fish & chips whilst exploring the streets was incredible – highly recommended to enjoy some on your visit. We ate in The Magpie, right on the harbour front, and the food was excellent.

There didn’t seem to be many big brand, typical high street shops. Instead, we found many small independent establishments, with lots of antique and curiosity shops that provided plenty of wonder. There were a handful of the usual seaside souvenir shops, plus several shops selling alternative/goth/rock gear of every imaginable variety. The Child was very impressed and spent a small fortune.

199 Steps
Graveyard

The highlight of our Whitby trip was appreciating some of the local features that famously appear in Dracula. We walked up the 199 steps to the graveyard – not easy, but less exhausting than it sounds. Naturally (for any Dracula fan, at least) we had a look round the graveyard, and St. Mary’s church as well.

Although in ruins, the Abbey at the very top of the headland is an ominous sight: it’s easy to imagine Stoker being inspired by the view. It was dark and foreboding on the day we visited – which was entirely appropriate – but fascinating never the less. We were also able to pick up some brilliant merch in the giftshop!

One final attraction I’ll mention was the Dracula Experience, which has a kind of Haunted House/Ghost Train at the funfair feel. It was there I saw a cape once worn by the legendary Christopher Lee when he played the Vampire Count. Other than that, we practically ran through the entire attraction, driven by the fear of whatever lurked in the dark and may jump out at us. Great fun!

Our Whitby roadtrip was pretty much perfect, with something for everyone. From the quaint and historic views, to the great food and warm welcome, we all thoroughly enjoyed our visit and will definitely return. Goth weekend next, maybe?

Visitwhitby.com

Whitby Abbey

Cape
Info
Drac Exp

The Best of 2023

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Welcome to 2024! And welcome back to Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub – your number one blog for all things groove and hip.

As has become tradition, my first post of the year is always a look back at the previous year’s successes. What posts in 2023 were the most popular, in terms of views? What would you, loyal readers, like to see more of?

Here’s a countdown of the Top 10 blog posts. A few surprises this time around, I assure you…

10. The Fall of the House of Halloween Horror Fest

Every October, I launch my Halloween Horror Fest. This involves watching lots of horror movies, and writing brief reviews of them. They rarely generate much traffic, but this years blog featuring Brides of Dracula and House of Usher has scraped into the Top 10.

9. Living Colour – Gig Review

My review of alt rock legends Living Colour’s appearance at the Tivoli in Buckley proved popular, enough to break into the Top 10.

8. Goodbye, Jenna

In April, we said a sad goodbye to our family pet cat, Jenna. This blog was a short memorial piece actually written by my daughter, which quite a few readers appreciated.

7. “Room 101: Bugs” by Eloise Jones

Another post contributed by my daughter (I need to get her writing more), this piece declared her hatred of bugs. Some readers agreed, others didn’t – but plenty read it all the same.

6. New Skateboard 2023 – Death Lurk II

I was surprised that this blog post performed so well! Focussing on details of my latest skateboard set-up, it was a bit niche – but the crowds flocked to it regardless.

5. Skateboard Museum: Albert 2

Another skate related post, I was less surprised that this one did well. A revisit to my first ever skateboard, a plastic 1970s relic, that was brought back from extinction.

4. For the Love of Horror

Comic Cons and similar events usually feature highly in these annual stats, though I attended few in 2023. This horror themed, Manchester based fest was memorable and provided some horrific photos.

3. Welcome to Parga

Something I should’ve written about a long time ago, this post cast a fond look at one of my favourite holiday destinations – Parga in Greece.

2. Bad Manners – Gig Review

Another great gig at the Tiv, this review picked up a lot of attention. Much more than I anticipated! Buster Bloodvessel and chums were superb.

And so, we reach the top of the list. Which blog post was the most popular of 2023? Drum roll please…

  1. Hawarden Classic Car Show 2023

I had to request a recount when I saw these results, just to be sure – but this blog about a small, local vintage car show stole top honours for this year. I was surprised, but happy that something different was so successful.

And there, faithful readers, you have it. A total of 48 posts were published in 2023, with these ten being the most successful. Some surprises indeed, but these are the the cold hard facts – and they can’t be denied!

Thank you to all who have participated in the success of Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, by reading, sharing and liking the posts. I really appreciate your support.

As we stride on into the New Year, I’d like to wish you all the very best in health and happiness.

And don’t forget to keep visiting the Virtual Hot Tub – you wouldn’t want us to get lonely, would you?!