Tag Archives: production

Torso – Brain Cells Album Review

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Torso – Brain Cells 

APF Records 

Release date: 13/09/2024 

Running time: 31 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9.5/10 

Friday night.  I’ve just been down to the local video shop, had a scan of the horror section, took my time deciding which film to rent.  If it’s good I’ll watch it at least three times before I bring it back tomorrow.  Go for the one with the craziest sounding name and the most gonzoid image on the cover.  Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I just want to know which offers the most brain destroying, off the wall, lurid descent into madness..  Pay up and leg it home, video tape in hand.  Urgently load the clunky VHS player and wait for the image on screen to stop crackling and reveal its gory beauty… 

‘Brain Cells’ by horror metal deviants Torso bursts forth with a frantic commotion.  This is album number two from ex-Possessor frontman/guitarist Graham Bywater in his new guise as the Dark Lord of Grindhouse Schlock Terror.  APF records haven’t so much released this album, as unlocked the gates, stood well back and unleashed it upon the world in a tidal wave of bloody fury. 

Starting with the intense thrash of ‘You Belong in Hell’, the lo-fi atmosphere is captured perfectly.  Not that the production is poor, but this whole album has the vibe of an ancient cassette that’s been used and re-used many times.  Probably starting with Huey Lewis, then taped over with some early Maiden, then repeatedly re-recorded on again until it features Carcass and Entombed.   

As before, songs are peppered with random movie samples (good luck tracking the sources down, I’m stumped already), though there’s noticeably less of the John Carpenter-inspired keyboard instrumentals this time around.  No matter, the drive-in B-movie atmosphere is ever present here – both ‘Savage Magic’ and ‘Brain Cells’, in particular, help see to that. 

Key highlights you won’t want to miss include ‘Deep Space Death Trap’ with its unforgiving, virulent chorus and raw, fuzzed up riffs; and ‘Hex Pest’, which roars along as if possessed by a filthy, NWOBHM-obsessed demon biker. 

“Brain Cells” is an underground garage-metal thrill ride from opening act to final curtain.  It’s glorious, murderous fun for all – you’ll want to rewind and go from the start again, as soon as it’s finished.  A nasty, blood splattered triumph for Torso and a Top Ten of 2024 album for me.   

Find out more about Torso on Bandcamp and their APF Records page.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Ron Coolen – Here to Stay Album Review

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Ron Coolen – Here to Stay

Self released

Release date: 01/12/2023

Running time: 60 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

7.5/10

Ron Coolen is a Dutch multi-instrumentalist with a passion for rock and metal. Working with vocalist Keith St John and with contributions from some amazing guitar wizards (George Lynch, Gus G and Christopher Amott to name just a few), we have here a new release that sounds contemporary, but also harks back to the glory days of 80’s metal.

With an opening track entitled ‘Heavy Metal Till I’m Dead’, it’s pretty obvious what we’re going to get. This song bursts out of the speakers, embellished with some furious shredding from Joey Concepcion, and I defy anyone not to raise the devil horns and sing along. It’s great fun, with ‘You’re Just a Bad Dream’ offering more of the same full-on energy. If you dig Van Halen, or any of the big stadium rock of the 80s, you’ll find plenty on here to enjoy (especially the VH style glory of ‘Shake Me to the Floor’).

My personal favourite song on “Here to Stay” is the start/stop ACDC-style riff of ‘Mr Jones’, though I don’t think this was written about me. Other tracks such as ‘Jaded Eyes’ offer a welcome change of pace, with an atmospheric feel that’s reminiscent of Sonic Temple era Cult.

I wasn’t sure whether I’d enjoy this particular release from Ron Coolen, but you’d have to be a cold-hearted ice demon not to be infected by the musicians’ reverence for metal. Some of the keyboards can grate a little, but the overall production is crisp and warm. Not all of the ideas work, but as a love letter to 80’s hard rock, it’s easy to enjoy. If you want to rock, then listening to “Here to Stay” is all you need to do, Ron Ron Ron. To do, Ron Ron.

Check out Ron Coolen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Bandcamp and YouTube.

This review is a joint presentation from Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Krull – The Black Coast Album Review

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Here’s my latest album review from EVER METAL, reproduced here with permission.  Enjoy! 

Krull – The Black Coast

Iron Shield Records

Release date: 27/04/2018

Running Time: 42.32

Review by: Alun Jones

6/10 

KRULL!  Did you ever see the movie?  It’s GREAT!  On the ancient world of Krull, Prince Colwyn brings together a band of scoundrels to help him rescue Princess Lyssa from the clutches of the evil Beast, who threatens to conquer the planet.  It’s a sci-fi fantasy adventure with a Cyclops, cool weapons, vile baddies, Tucker Jenkins and Lysette Anthony.  I mean seriously, you need to see this film.  How metal does it sound?  Even the bad guys are called “Slayers”!

The band Krull occupy a musical space which is openly very inspired by fantasy, battles and all things sword and sorcery.  And right from the off, it’s a whole lot of fun.  The atmospheric intro “In the Woods” grabs the listener and plunges them into the ethereal world that Krull have concocted, and it’s pretty much full on from there.

Pace-wise, “The Black Coast” is like riding shotgun in a barbarian’s chariot, charging an army of Orcs.  Stand out tracks for me included “By Steel” and “The King and the Sword”, but the whole album is energetic traditional metal.  If you’re a fan of Priest, Maiden and the mighty Manowar you’ll find something to enjoy here.  Only midway track “Valhalla” slows things down a little, otherwise it’s a fast and brutal campaign.

So why only 6 out of 10?  Well there are lots of plus points with this album.  The vocals are suitably bonkers, ranging from powerful cries, deep growls to a high pitched, witchy cacophony.  The musicianship is great, and the rhythm section successfully keep the march relentless.  The songs are fast and filled with fantastic tales of battles and bravery.

But the guitar tone was just off for me.  I like something with more crunch; more skull smashing intensity.  After the cool intro, first track “The Witch”, whilst a great song, suffers from a languid guitar sound that slices the records hamstrings before the fight is really on.

Don’t misunderstand me, the playing is great – it’s the production that’s slightly lacking.  The guitars should be much more axe in the face, blood and brains everywhere.

There’s still a lot to recommend Krull’s “The Black Coast” though.  Especially if you dig your metal as a soundtrack to a rampaging berserker, attacking a horde of evil ghouls.

Oh, and get down to your local Blockbuster and rent the Krull video.  You won’t regret it.  It makes Lord of the Rings look like a bad Dungeons and Dragons game in a crack den.

Click here for the EVER METAL website, where you’ll find tons more reviews of albums and gigs by awesome bands!

www.facebook.com/krullheavymetal/

https://krullofficial.bandcamp.com/

www.instagram.com/krull.official/

My Top 10 Christmas Songs

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I’ve chickened out of writing this list for a long time.  That’s because there are so many great Christmas songs, that it’s a real struggle to narrow it down to just 10.  There are a few songs that simply have to be on the list, but I cringe thinking about those that didn’t make the it.

But I’ve been really ruthless, and narrowed it down to ten classic Christmas tunes that I love:

10. The Waitresses – “Christmas Wrapping”

A great, funky little pop number that always gets me dancing in the aisles doing my Christmas shopping.  I know nothing about this group other than this song, but this is sheer class.

9. Ramones – “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)”

The Ramones hark back to their 70’s glam rock influences with this festive banger.  It’s great to have a really influential, cool band in the top 10 (much better than Wham! for example).

8. Showaddywaddy – “Hey Mr Christmas”

This Showaddywaddy song is criminally unknown these days.  It really is a classic bit of 70’s stomping/clapping/singalong fun.  Do yourself a favour and rediscover this gem now!

7. Dean Martin – “”I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”

There are loads of awesome Christmas tunes from the master, Dean Martin (Baby It’s Cold Outside, Let It Snow!…, etc).  But this track is my top pick from Deano, if only for the wonderfully uplifting instrumental introduction.  You can argue if this tune is actually a Christmas song or not, but it’s on the indispensable “Ultra Lounge Christmas Cocktails” album, so I’m claiming it.

6. Wizzard –  “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”

Another glam rock 70’s nugget.  Absolutely essential.  It seems like I’ve heard this song all my life – I probably have – and it never gets boring.  Christmas magic!

5. The Crystals – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Timeless stuff from the wonderful “A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector” album.  You’ve heard this song on film soundtracks, everywhere – it instantly conjures up a vivid feeling of Christmas nostalgia.  Superb.

4. Darlene Love – “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

Another track from the Phil Spector record (if you don’t own it, get it.  You need it).  The fantastic intro and Wall of Sound production are just perfect.  Sends a Christmassy shiver down your spine every time.

3. The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – “Fairytale of New York”

Nowadays it’s as traditional as Christmas pud.  “Fairytale of New York” has grown on me massively over the years – it’s now an essential part of the festivities.

2. Shakin’ Stevens – “Merry Christmas Everyone”

Instantly recognisable, the Welsh Elvis rocks out a total seasonal masterpiece.  Newsflash: Shaky is, was, and always will be COOL.  This song is crucial for any Crimbo fun.

So what’s number one in my festive all time top ten?  It can only be…

1. Slade – “Merry Christmas Everybody”

Forget the Coca Cola truck, the official start of the Christmas (not “holiday”) season is when you first hear Noddy bellow “It’s Chriiisstmaaaaasss!”  In the 1970’s, Christmas was great.  This is the sound of every family get together from then and ever since.  Unbeatable.

There you go – my Top 10 Christmas songs.  I may need to re-visit this next year, maybe do a top 20 – just to cover off a few of the great songs that didn’t make this list.

Though there’s no way that East fucking 17 will ever get in here.

Merry Christmas to all my readers!