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Torso – Brain Cells Album Review

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Torso – Brain Cells 

APF Records 

Release date: 13/09/2024 

Running time: 31 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9.5/10 

Friday night.  I’ve just been down to the local video shop, had a scan of the horror section, took my time deciding which film to rent.  If it’s good I’ll watch it at least three times before I bring it back tomorrow.  Go for the one with the craziest sounding name and the most gonzoid image on the cover.  Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I just want to know which offers the most brain destroying, off the wall, lurid descent into madness..  Pay up and leg it home, video tape in hand.  Urgently load the clunky VHS player and wait for the image on screen to stop crackling and reveal its gory beauty… 

‘Brain Cells’ by horror metal deviants Torso bursts forth with a frantic commotion.  This is album number two from ex-Possessor frontman/guitarist Graham Bywater in his new guise as the Dark Lord of Grindhouse Schlock Terror.  APF records haven’t so much released this album, as unlocked the gates, stood well back and unleashed it upon the world in a tidal wave of bloody fury. 

Starting with the intense thrash of ‘You Belong in Hell’, the lo-fi atmosphere is captured perfectly.  Not that the production is poor, but this whole album has the vibe of an ancient cassette that’s been used and re-used many times.  Probably starting with Huey Lewis, then taped over with some early Maiden, then repeatedly re-recorded on again until it features Carcass and Entombed.   

As before, songs are peppered with random movie samples (good luck tracking the sources down, I’m stumped already), though there’s noticeably less of the John Carpenter-inspired keyboard instrumentals this time around.  No matter, the drive-in B-movie atmosphere is ever present here – both ‘Savage Magic’ and ‘Brain Cells’, in particular, help see to that. 

Key highlights you won’t want to miss include ‘Deep Space Death Trap’ with its unforgiving, virulent chorus and raw, fuzzed up riffs; and ‘Hex Pest’, which roars along as if possessed by a filthy, NWOBHM-obsessed demon biker. 

“Brain Cells” is an underground garage-metal thrill ride from opening act to final curtain.  It’s glorious, murderous fun for all – you’ll want to rewind and go from the start again, as soon as it’s finished.  A nasty, blood splattered triumph for Torso and a Top Ten of 2024 album for me.   

Find out more about Torso on Bandcamp and their APF Records page.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Platinum Al’s Top 10 Rock & Metal Albums of 2023

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Just as per last year, I compiled my Top 10 Rock & Metal albums for Ever Metal, which was published on the site. Now you lucky devils over here at the Virtual Hot Tub get to take a look too!

Absolutely ridiculous, that’s what it’s been like trying to pick just 10 albums to make my “Best of the Year” list.  There’s been a ton of great music in 2023.  Here’s my attempt to pick out my favourites:

10. The Sound of Origin – Man in the Arena

Sludgy, Grungy, Stoner Metal from Huddersfield, this album features Trouble’s Kyle Thomas on a couple of tracks adding even more class to a solid record.

9. Church of Misery – Born Under a Mad Sign

Gruesome Doom from the Japanese masters of Sabbathian serial murderer Metal.  Killer!

8. Torso – A Crash Course in Terror

John Carpenter synths meet chainsaw guitars in this brutal, 80’s horror inspired monster of an album from Torso.  Short but evil.

7. The Lords of Altamont – To Hell with Tomorrow, The Lords are now!

Psyche Biker Rock with skronky keyboards and attitude, The Lords of Altamont deliver a slab of Garage Punk’n’Roll to keep the party going.  YEAH!!!

6. Tankzilla – Tankzilla

Debut album from this dynamic duo, a righteous cacophony of pounding, groovy riffs that’ll make your body move like a serpent. 

5. King Kraken – MCLXXX

These guys blew me away when I saw them live back in February.  Their album is also a work of Groove Metal wonder.

4. Kvelertak – Endling

Norwegian Punk Metal with a Classic Rock sheen?  Yes please!  More joyous tunes from Kvelertak is nothing short of a true gift.

3. Blood Ceremony – The Old Ways Remain

Folk Metal, flute infused Occult Rock that sounds both ancient and modern at the same time, we waited a long time but this album will cast a spell on you.

2. Green Lung – This Heathen Land

I was one of many waiting anxiously for the third Green Lung album, and it didn’t disappoint.  Exquisite Occult Rock that’s doomy and hook filled, Green Lung have exploded with this record.

And number one is…

1. Desert Storm – Death Rattle

Three years ago, Desert Storm were number 2 in my 2020 Top 10, after a little band called AC/DC.  This year they deservedly take the top spot, with a massive album that I’m still enjoying months later, up against some stiff competition.   

Plus some honourable mentions:

Baroness, who’s latest album “Stone” probably would’ve made the top 10 if I’d listened to it sooner.

The Damned – their “Darkedelic” album may not be for all of Ever Metal’s audience, but it’s bloody great all the same.

Metallica – that “72 Seasons” thing was good but too long.  Nice try.

Keep coming back to Ever Metal and Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for all the best rock reviews!

Torso – Album Review

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TORSO – A Crash Course in Terror

APF Records

Release date: 27/01/2023

Running time: 30 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

9.5/10

BLEEAUURRRGH!!!  It’s a jump scare to wake anyone out of hibernation, running for safety behind the sofa.  What a way to start the year!  APF records present “A Crash Course in Terror”, the debut album from TORSO.  Formed from the smouldering corpse of Possessor by that band’s Graham Bywater (frontman/guitarist), TORSO skulk in a murky Grindhouse nightmare.

Are you sitting comfortably?  Then we’ll begin.  ‘Heads Start to Roll’ introduces the album with a John Carpenter-esque, menacing, keyboard-led theme which immediately unsettles the listener.  Then the chainsaw guitars cut through, the song erupts, and the listener is dragged along by the scalp in a ferociously paced fairground ride from hell. 

The retro, electro keyboard themes dotted throughout help to set this album apart in its own fuzzy VHS world.  Spooky instrumentals like ‘Pranks’, ‘Depth Charge’ and ‘Death TV’ add a dread atmosphere, part prog and part video nasty soundtrack.

‘Sinking Spell’ is like The Melvins rocking out to a Texas Chainsaw Massacre back projection.  The lo-fi, raw sound of the heavier numbers keeps everything within the TORSO world: ‘Precious Blood’ could be a punked up hybrid of Angel Witch and Electric Wizard.  Finally, the epic ‘Circuit Breaker Breaker’ has a B-movie, doom metal fury that sounds as if the final survivor is running for their life from a vicious psycho killer.

My only complaint with this album is that at just 30 minutes, it’s a little short – I’d have loved another 5 minutes of mayhem.  But at least “A Crash Course in Terror” is to the point.  That’s much preferable to yet another 80 minute Metallica album – I haven’t finished listening to all the songs on their last record yet…

“A Crash Course in Terror” by TORSO.  A fantastic, gruesome recording and a perfect start to the year.  Can 2023 get any better?

Check out Torso on Instagram, Spotify and YouTube.

APF record scan be found on Facebook, Bandcamp, Twitter and their own website.

This review brought to you by the combined might of Platinum Al and Ever Metal.