Tag Archives: slasher movie

The Halloween Horror Fest Must Die

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Happy Halloween, folks! Here are a few more spooky movie reviews, hope you enjoy!

The Beast Must Die (1974)

A departure from the more familiar horror anthology tales produced by Amicus, The Beast Must Die is an interesting curiosity. We meet a millionaire big game hunter, keen to bag himself the prize of a lifetime: a werewolf. Hence he invites a group of guests, all of whom could be suspected to be a lycanthrope, to his sprawling mansion with its high security.

Only one of them is a werewolf – can you guess which one in the “Werewolf Break”?

The break is a thirty second countdown, allowing a brief pause for the audience to decide for themselves which of the guests is the werewolf, before all is revealed. And yes, it actually appears in the film. An odd gimmick, but there you go.

The film actually plays more like a detective story, or episode of a 1970s television thriller. As such, there are plenty of opportunities for some real suspense and jumpy horror that are squandered. But with a great cast including Peter Cushing, Charles Gray and Michael Gambon, this is still worth checking out. The Beast Must Die is a definite watch for any fan of 70’s British horror, like me.

8/10

Wolf Creek (2005)

Now if the snakes, spiders, sharks and God knows what else aren’t enough to put you off visiting Australia, then there’s always the deranged Outback serial killers.

In Wolf Creek, some typically annoying young studenty backpackers are travelling across the mundane wasteland when they run into some psycho called Mick Taylor (John Jarratt). Although he promises to help them with a broken down car, turns out Mick isn’t really very nice. What follows is a shocking and disturbing account of what can only be termed torture porn, as the kids try desperately to escape the clutches of the cork hat maniac.

Wolf Creek is actually a well made film, featuring some very good performances. It’s extremely tense and downright nasty. If you can deal with that, this film is definitely worth a watch. The viewer can’t help but empathise with the kids and imagine themselves being in such a horrific situation. But the plot is kinda obvious and unfulfilling in the end, a bit like an episode of Neighbours.

So, what’s the moral of this particular story? Don’t go to Australia.

7.5/10

The Fly (1958)

Not the crappy David Cronenberg remake, this is the original 1958 classic sci-fi horror starring the legendary Vincent Price. The story unfolds of Price’s brother, Andre (David Hedison), a scientific genius, and his sadly disastrous experiment with matter transferral.

After some initial success, Andre eventually goes too far in his explorations, as a rogue house fly enters the matter transmitter with him. The result is a gruesome hybrid of the human being and a fly, and the race is on to try to reverse the process before the scientist loses all trace of humanity.

This brilliantly clever film is also very touching, as the brilliant scientist and his family are subjected to terrible events that they cannot escape. Great performances, of course, and a bizarre twist in the tale make this first version of The Fly the definitive version. Absolutely unmissable.

9.5/10

Halloween Horror Fest: Blood and Honey

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Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Yes, I couldn’t resist! Lured in by the novelty value of a Winnie the Pooh themed horror movie, I decided to give this bizarre mutation a viewing. The rights for Pooh Bear and his friends form the Hundred Acre Wood entered into the public domain in the USA recently, and these enterprising (or “deranged”) film-making fiends decided to revamp things a bit. Quite a bit, actually.

Having been abandoned by Christopher Robin when he grows up and leaves the wood, the remaining cuddly chums degenerate into psychopathic killers. The now adult Christopher Robin, with his fiancée, returns to the site of his youthful adventures and soon comes a cropper when he encounters the now feral Pooh and Piglet.

Things get worse when a group of female students, whilst renting a holiday cabin in the woods, also meet the murderous Pooh and Piglet – and the inevitable carnage ensues.

And that’s all you need to know, if you needed to know anything at all. One by one the characters are slaughtered as per the expected slasher movie routine – with plenty of gore, screaming and running about. To be fair, there are a few plot twists and some novel killing methods, and the lighting and colours look great on screen.

But the obvious fact that Pooh and Piglet are just blokes in masks makes the film look like a cheap Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off. Despite an original and crazy concept, we’ve seen it all before. One to watch purely for the novelty value, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey comes to a sticky end.

5/10

The Halloween Horror Fest Commands

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It’s time for some more mini horror movie reviews, as the spooky month of October demands. Settle down, kids!

Scream 2 (1997)

We’ve covered the first Scream film a while back (2016, hot tub fans!) and eventually I’ve got round to watching the sequel. Unlike Scream, which I had seen before my Halloween Horror Fest review, I’d never bothered to watch Scream 2 till now.

Slasher movies ain’t really my bag, as I know I’ve mentioned before. Nor are “modern” films (OK, this is 25 years old, whatevs) or films about teenage Americans. Never the less, I’d enjoyed Scream and the second instalment has been on my watch list for a while.

Here the survivor from the first movie, Sidney (Neve Campbell) is now attending college when a spate of copy cat killings, inspired by the deeds of Ghostface in the previous film, start to occur. There follows a series of nasty murders and numerous twists and turns as the killer stalks and slays various characters. All the time, the audience is trying to guess the identity of the new Ghostface.

There’s nothing supernatural here, but there are plenty of jumps and surprises. Like the first film, this sequel attempts to play with the audiences expectations with numerous well observed references to other movies. Also like the first film, I found Scream 2 far more entertaining than I expected.

7.5/10

Renfield (2023)

Bang up to date now, with this 2023 movie starring Nicholas Hoult as the titular character, the familiar of Dracula. Yes, THE Dracula, played here with demonic glee by the one and only Nicholas Cage.

Here the trusted and sort-of immortal Renfield, the Count’s trusted servant, becomes dissatisfied with his lot – what with all the seeking victims and removing the gory evidence his life entails. Renfield joins a counselling group for people in abusive relationships, initially to stalk the abusers for Dracula’s prey. Eventually, the familiar decides to remove himself from his toxic existence, but not without resistance from his former master.

I was looking forward to seeing this movie, but sadly missed it in the cinema. The short time it ran in cinemas should have given me a clue as to whether it was any good…

What could have been a fresh look at the horror of the Dracula legend instead morphs into an action comedy, with guns and explosions and over the top fight scenes. It’s still an entertaining movie, but not what I hoped for at all. I hate dumb action movies and Renfield steers far too close to those waters.

Having said that, Cage is brilliant as the Lord of the Undead and I’d love to see more of him in this role.

Watchable but throwaway, which is a shame. Next.

6/10

Halloween Horror Fest 2022

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Greetings, friends! Welcome to my abode. Don’t be afraid, open the door wide and step inside. It’s cold outside, the rain is lashing down and the wind is howling – come sit by my fire and warm your chilled bones. Pour a drink and relax. I have many stories to tell you this Halloween. Listen closely…

Here we go again with Platinum Al’s traditional Halloween Horror Fest, where I’ll be watching spooky movies and sharing my fetid thoughts on my viewing. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Here are the first of this year’s celluloid nightmares…

Driller Killer (1979)

Starting off, something different from my usual preferences – an infamous “video nasty”. Here we meet Reno, a troubled artist, struggling to create a masterpiece whilst living in poverty. As the stresses pile up in his everyday life, he resorts to viciously murdering local vagrants as his mental health suffers.

I’m no fan of “slasher” movies, and didn’t expect much from this film – other than being able to tick it off the list. It’s low budget and dated, but rather than a predictable slasher fest, the movie takes it’s time to develop the main character and examine his descent into murderous madness. This slow burn at least demonstrates the film makers grander ambitions, though on the other hand it does slow the movie down.

A surprising approach then, but this art house wannabe doesn’t really achieve much more. “Driller Killer” is worth a watch to – well, yeah – tick it off the list.

5/10

Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)

One hundred undead years old this year, FW Murnau’s Dracula “homage” should need no introduction. Certainly, the appearance of Count Orlok – this film’s Drac substitute – has been magnificently influential, not to mention the many other magical innovations on screen.

The plot is almost directly cloned from Stoker’s novel (indeed my copy even uses the original character names) – a problem which led to the writer’s heirs suing over the unauthorised adaptation. As a result, all copies were to be destroyed. Thankfully, not all prints were extinguished.

Here, our Jonathon Harker (or Hutter) travels to meet Count Orlok (Dracula, obvs) in order to procure property for the nobleman. Orlok is of course a vampire, and after sidestepping Harker/Hutter, travels back to the hero’s home town via a pleasant cruise on a ship called the Demeter.

You don’t really need to know any more. Put it this way, if you’ve never seen this film – you need to watch it. Yes, it’s a silent movie and obviously that dates the picture considerably, but there’s still so much to enjoy. Cinematic vampire lore is being built before our eyes, as well as the language of cinema being explored and developed. These experiments don’t always work, but it’s always fascinating.

Max Schreck as Orlok is still one of the creepiest sights in movies, ever. The rat-like visage, the menacing shadow climbing the stairs – still truly ghastly, all these years later. I doubt this vampire will ever die.

10/10

Lugosi – Album Review

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Lugosi – Video Nasty

Self-released (BJF PR)

Release date: 12/03/2021

Running time: 27 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

OK, here we go!  The clue’s in the title, folks – you can probably figure out where we’re headed with a band called Lugosi straight off the (vampire) bat.  If not, let me give you some pointers…

To get to Lugosi’s haunted house, depart from the Ramones’ basement, travel up Misfits Avenue, take a left at Danzig Drive, head on past Lemmy’s Bar’n’Grill till you get to 1313 Mockingbird Lane.  And you’ve arrived: horror themed punk’n’roll with fast’n’furious tunes and daft lyrics about dodgy old horror and sci-fi movies.  In other words, exactly the kind of goth rock Halloween shindig that your ol’ Uncle Al loves to crash.

Let’s get the devil-locked elephant in the room dealt with first: ‘cos there’s going to be a Misfits reference in nearly every sentence I write of this review!  To be fair, although there’s an undoubted Misfits influence in Lugosi’s work, it’s more in the lyrical content: songs about vampires, Dawn of the Dead and devil worship are aplenty, but in a tongue in cheek, Hammer horror style rather than any serious Satanic pretence.  This is music made by fans of cheesy, campy horror classics for other fans of the same.

The music itself has less of the big “WOAH” Danzig choruses and a more Motorhead inspired punk’n’roll sound, like Supersuckers  or Zeke.  There’s even a really cool instrumental in the middle of “They Came from Outer Space” that has an Iron Maiden feel.  The riffs not too far from Clutch, and – is that a Thin Lizzy influence?  Well, I was surprised to learn that Lugosi are from Dublin – I imagined they were from a remote cabin in the Texas backwoods somewhere…

“Late Night Slasher Movie” starts things off perfectly, in the speedy rockin’ style I mentioned, with hilarious lyrics!  “We’re Here to Drink Blood” is one of the punkier paced, Ramones tracks – and it’s catchier than a zombie plague.  Then there’s “Soylent Green”, which reminds me of Jerry Only era Misfits (this is a good thing).  A heavier, Sabbath feel rocks right out of the grave on “The Vampyre” and “Hellfire Club”.  There’s an almost doom sound to “1313”, augmented by high-pitched, theremin like weirdness.  I think you get the idea.

“Video Nasty” is a great album, thoroughly enjoyable in many ways: a successful Frankenstein bolting together of B-movies, punk and heavy metal – ideal for your next gathering on All Hallows Eve.  Kitsch, ridiculous, over the top – and FUN.  Lugosi have really reanimated the corpse of horror punk, and – it’s alive!!!

Check out Lugosi on Facebook and Bandcamp.

This review was proudly presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

A Halloween Horror Fest on Elm Street

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Now here’s a film that should need no introduction. Though to be honest, back in the 80s when A Nightmare on Elm Street – and it’s sequels – were hugely popular, I was never a fan. I’ve just never been really into “Slasher” movies – I was investigating the classic Gothic horror of Hammer and Universal at the time, and modern, contemporary films just didn’t grab me.

Never the less, I decided to give Wes Craven’s original another go, just in case I was missing something.

Brief recap: a bunch of kids on Elm Street suffer from terrifying dreams, featuring a crispy faced dude wearing a mask and possessing a gardening glove customised with lethal blades. Yes, it’s evil child murderer Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), and he intends not only to provide the kids with some unforgettable nightmares, he also wants to bloodily murderise them.

Revisiting this film was actually a lot of fun, I was surprised how well A Nightmare on Elm Street stood up. Yes, it’s incredibly dated, and ridden with clichés, but hey – these were new, original ideas back in the day. It’s not Gothic horror, but the supernatural elements are well plotted and help create the Krueger mythos.

Englund is great, though he’s more restrained in this first instalment. It’s always great to see John Saxon, who plays a cop here; and there’s an interesting debut from a fresh faced Johnny Depp, playing teenager Glen (who was probably about 40 at the time of filming).

Yes, I have been proven wrong – A Nightmare on Elm Street is actually a pretty damn good movie, with a mix of scares, peril and gore that shows Craven knows what he’s doing. Not the best film eve made, but I’m beginning to see how the cult of Freddy became so formidable. I’ll definitely check out the sequels.

8/10

The Indestructible Man (1956)

Convicted criminal “Butcher” Benton (Lon Chaney Jr.) is going to the electric chair, and he refuses to tell his bank robbing colleagues where the loot is. After being executed, Benton is brought back to life in an experiment. He then commences to seek revenge on his former partners, and the police are left to put the clues together and stop the gruesome murders.

A strange mix of the Frankenstein tale and 1950s cop show, this movie hardly feels like horror, but does have an impressive body count. Chaney has few lines – he’s mute for some reason, when resurrected – and we usually see his intense emotion only in wacky, extreme close up.

No points for originality here, but the film benefits from scenes representing the streets, bars and Burlesque clubs of old Los Angeles. As a period piece, The Indestructible Man is fun – it’s typical drive-in B-movie fare. Ironic that a couple of key scenes actually take place in a drive-in theatre!

6/10

Wales Comic Con 2019

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Wales Comic Con 

Saturday 27th – Sunday 8th April 2019

Glyndwr University, Wrexham

Storm Hannah was raging on Saturday when my family and I made one of our regular visits to Wales Comic Con.  The usual site at Glyndwr University was drowning under torrential downpours and lashed by fierce winds.

That may sound overly dramatic, but it really was grim.  Thor, God of Thunder, must have been in a really bad mood.  Or maybe it was Storm from the X-Men?

As a result, our family day trip was a bit of a washout.  Corridors were packed out as attendees shuffled along like zombies from The Walking Dead.

We managed to get into the merch tent, which was also very crowded and difficult to get near to the stalls.  Some traders looked to be suffering as the marquis roof was leaking rainwater.

I didn’t manage to get many photos of Cosplayers or props etc.  Most people were wrapped up against the elements, or there just wasn’t room to take a pic.  I don’t think anyone particularly felt like dawdling, posing for a photo – and I didn’t fancy hanging around in the wet!

The queue to get in to the signing tent was massive, stretching outdoors as people waited to get in.  As it was still chucking it down, we decided not to bother joining the line and decided to leave.

No big deal for me as I wasn’t really interested in autographs; Mrs Platinum Al had been thinking about meeting Kiefer Sutherland for a signing though, so that never happened..

But we’d had enough – the miserable weather had us beat.  We were wet through.  Basically, we paid £22 each to look round some stalls in a leaking tent.

Now nobody can be blamed for the weather, it was just unfortunate.  I did feel sorry for the traders with their soaked merchandise.  And the people in the rain waiting to have a photograph with a celeb whilst they looked like they’d just been rescued from the Titanic.

And the poor celebs too – what a welcome to the country!

Well the only answer was to just get on and make the most of things, which I think most did.  The organisers can’t be blamed for Storm Hannah.  Maybe in the future they need to consider shelters for the queue, rain or shine.

Sunday’s weather was much improved, however we’d only got tickets for Saturday.  The reason for that was because Rupert Grint, some Harry Potter kid, was there that day.  For some reason this was a big deal in our house, so we booked tickets for Saturday (the only day Ron Weasley was there) rather than our usual Sunday.

After buying the tickets, we then found out that autographs with Rupert would cost over £130 – so he was priced out of our range anyway.  Ironically, had we known that cost up front, we’d have bought Sunday tickets; avoided the storm and had a great day.

Rupert Grint better not show his face round here, I’ll stick his wand where the sun doesn’t shine for him.

The Wales Comic Con website is here.

Halloween Horror Fest

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Yes, it’s October – which means it’s time once again for Halloween Horror Fest!  Throughout the month on the run up to Halloween, Mrs Platinum Al and I watch some of the horror movies from our creepy collection, and I write a brief review of each for your evil entertainment.

It’s always out and out horror – so long as there’s a general spooky or paranormal element – or monsters! – then the movie is up for consideration.

This is the fifth year running we have attempted this mammoth task.  To keep everyone up to speed, here’s a list of the films that have been viewed over the last few years.

All are listed in alphabetical order.

28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
30 Days of Night
The Addams Family
Alien
An American Werewolf in London
Big Tits Zombie
Bigfoot Wars
Blacula
Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb
Blood on Satan’s Claw
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter
Carrie
Carry on Screaming
Company of Wolves
The Corpse Bride
Countess Dracula
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Dark Shadows
Day of the Dead
Dead Snow
Dead Snow 2
The Devil Rides Out
Dracula AD 1972
Dracula Prince of Darkness
Ed Wood
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Evil Dead
The Fog
Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman
Friday the 13th
From Dusk Till Dawn
From Hell
Ghost Ship
Ghostbusters
Halloween
The House That Dripped Blood
Lost Boys
Night Watch
Oupost
Para Norman
Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Xperience
Pet Sematary
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The Raven
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Scream
Shadow of the Vampire
Shaun of the Dead
Silence of the Lambs
Sleepy Hollow
Taste the Blood of Dracula
Theatre of Blood
The Thing (1982)
Vampire Circus
The Vampire Lovers
The Wicker Man
The Wolfman (2010)
The Woman in Black
Zombie Strippers

Big Tits Halloween Horror Fest

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Big Tits Zombie (2010)

Yes, you read that title right.  Big Tits Zombie is trashy Japanese cinema, which I couldn’t resist picking up after reading about it in Bizarre magazine.  Hey, it only cost me £3!

Basically, this is the same strippers and zombies scenario as we’ve seen in Jenna Jameson’s Zombie Strippers, the only difference being this version features cute Japanese girls (rather than sexy American girls).  As per previous, the dancers inadvertently raise the dead and then have to survive the ensuing zombie apocalypse. btz

There’s actually a lot less smut on display than the title would suggest.  Instead we get some fairly amusing scenes of the girls trying to endure their boring day job, plus the addition of some martial arts when it’s zombie killing time.

Sadly, the special effects are lame CGI and the undead themselves are the least convincing zombies I’ve ever seen.  A shame – with better attention to detail this could have been a half decent horror spoof.

Don’t let the title put you off, Big Tits Zombie is very tame in the flesh revealing department, and actually features some mind boggling pop culture.  Worth a go if you have any interest in films that are just plain odd!

6/10

Scream (1996)

As I’ve stated previously, I’ve never been much of a slasher film fan.  I saw Scream nearly twenty years ago, not long after the film came out, and found it only mildly entertaining.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find that I really enjoyed it second time around. scream

The story centres around a group of high school teenagers, who are terrorised via phone (that’s a landline, kids!) and killed off.  Which sounds very unoriginal, right?  Well the clever thing is that Scream doesn’t try to be completely original, rather the film is happy to exploit the audiences expectations and play with them, tongue slotted into cheek.

All very post modern and self referential, but at the end of the day the film stands or falls on it’s ability to scare – which it manages to do very well.  The tension builds, characters face jeopardy and the audience is kept on the edge of its seat.

Scream succeeds in avoiding self parody and provides loads of thrills.  There are enough nods to it’s predecessors to keep the slasher fans smirking knowingly.  Good performances and quick dialogue made me glad I gave Scream another chance.

8/10

Halloween Horror Fest the 13th

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Blacula (1972)

Blacula updates the legend of Dracula, placing it’s protagonist in early 70’s California.  African Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall) is visiting said Lord of the Undead, who curses him to become a vampire, known as Blacula.  After being entombed for a couple of hundred years, Mamuwalde is revived when his coffin is transported and opened in modern day USA. blacula

It’s a fun film, transposing many of the myths we’re familiar with from Hammer movies into a different setting.  As in other versions of the tale, Blacula is transfixed by Tina, who he sees as the reincarnation of his lost love.  Tina, played by the beautiful Vonetta McGee (dead ringer for Beyonce) falls for his deadly charms; whilst her friends attempt to stop the plague of vampirism from spreading.

Whilst undeniably dated, and wallowing in numerous stereotypes that are somewhat non-pc by today’s standards, Blacula offers some great entertainment.  There are a few scares, some incredibly groovy costumes and settings, and a cool funky score.  It’s a novelty rather  than an original, though transposing the Dracula story into the realm of Blaxploitation works a treat.

Recommended, especially for fans of Dracula AD 1972 and Dark Shadows.

7/10

Friday the 13th (1980)

We’re off to the realms of slasher movies next, for one of the all time classics of the genre.  I first saw this film when I was 17.  I’ve not been much of a fan of slasher flicks since. fr13

Friday the 13th knowingly raids all the cliches from the cupboard and displays them proudly on the wall.  Set at Crystal Lake summer camp, the young counsellors fit the required formula and are gruesomely picked off one by one in the classic manner.

And yet it works very well, with some genuinely well done gore (Tom Savini, take a bow) and real shocks that convince even after all these years.  This might not have been the first slasher flick,but it follows the Halloween blueprint faithfully and delivers with surprises and tension.

I’m still not a massive slasher movie fan, but this original Friday the 13th is well worth investigating.

7/10