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Torso – Album Review

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TORSO – A Crash Course in Terror

APF Records

Release date: 27/01/2023

Running time: 30 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

9.5/10

BLEEAUURRRGH!!!  It’s a jump scare to wake anyone out of hibernation, running for safety behind the sofa.  What a way to start the year!  APF records present “A Crash Course in Terror”, the debut album from TORSO.  Formed from the smouldering corpse of Possessor by that band’s Graham Bywater (frontman/guitarist), TORSO skulk in a murky Grindhouse nightmare.

Are you sitting comfortably?  Then we’ll begin.  ‘Heads Start to Roll’ introduces the album with a John Carpenter-esque, menacing, keyboard-led theme which immediately unsettles the listener.  Then the chainsaw guitars cut through, the song erupts, and the listener is dragged along by the scalp in a ferociously paced fairground ride from hell. 

The retro, electro keyboard themes dotted throughout help to set this album apart in its own fuzzy VHS world.  Spooky instrumentals like ‘Pranks’, ‘Depth Charge’ and ‘Death TV’ add a dread atmosphere, part prog and part video nasty soundtrack.

‘Sinking Spell’ is like The Melvins rocking out to a Texas Chainsaw Massacre back projection.  The lo-fi, raw sound of the heavier numbers keeps everything within the TORSO world: ‘Precious Blood’ could be a punked up hybrid of Angel Witch and Electric Wizard.  Finally, the epic ‘Circuit Breaker Breaker’ has a B-movie, doom metal fury that sounds as if the final survivor is running for their life from a vicious psycho killer.

My only complaint with this album is that at just 30 minutes, it’s a little short – I’d have loved another 5 minutes of mayhem.  But at least “A Crash Course in Terror” is to the point.  That’s much preferable to yet another 80 minute Metallica album – I haven’t finished listening to all the songs on their last record yet…

“A Crash Course in Terror” by TORSO.  A fantastic, gruesome recording and a perfect start to the year.  Can 2023 get any better?

Check out Torso on Instagram, Spotify and YouTube.

APF record scan be found on Facebook, Bandcamp, Twitter and their own website.

This review brought to you by the combined might of Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Heron – Empires of Ash Album Review

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Heron – Empires of Ash

Sludgelord Records

Release date: 02/12/2022

Running time: 37 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

“Empires of Ash” is the new album from Heron, and if you like the sludge, this is gonna be one for you.  It’s the band’s third full length album, and you’ll know when you listen that there’s a whole mountain load of experience brewed up in this mighty concoction.  Experience, plus what seems like a lifetime’s worth of melancholy and frustration given voice through huge, expansive slabs of atmospheric thunder.

Starting with ‘Rust and Rot’, Heron take us on a 9 minute plus odyssey encompassing thudding drums and menacing guitar.  Vocals are guttural and brutal, the end result is a thrilling wade through a sludgey mire.  Contrast this to the second track, ‘The Middle Distance’: a sombre yet beautiful (yes, you read that right) epic, which only erupts into molten fury after the three-minute mark.  When the vocals come in, you’ll drop your pint.

‘Hauntology’ is another epic, and very aptly titled.  Eerie yet calm and pensive, till again it builds to an enthralling outburst.  ‘Hungry Ghosts’ is a more ruthless amalgamation of Conan with later period Danzig guitar flash.  The final track, ‘With Dead Eyes’ has a melodic entrance, and once more decimates with a powerful vocal.

Whether it’s doom, sludge, post-rock or any other shade of metal, there’s a wide variety of styles and influences on this album.  I was lulled into a relaxed haze before being startled awake with fiery exultations on several occasions.  Heron have really gone all out with “Empires of Ash” to create a record that is unique and imaginative.

Ozzy had trouble with a heron.  He’d just had a new pond built on his farm, and one bird kept gorging on Oz’s expensive ornamental Koi carp.  One night, we decided to lay ambush and surprise the heron with a siren and a shot gun when it flew in at dawn for breakfast.  Bill Ward fell asleep, so we floated him out on the water on an inflatable raft, as he snored under the moonlight.  When the heron arrived, I sounded the siren, Oz fired his gun into the air and Bill woke up startled, then fell into the pond screaming “I can’t swim!”.  Oh, we did laugh.  The bird flew off, never to be seen again. 

Check out Heron on Facebook, Instagram and Spotify.

Pay Sludgelord Records a visit on Facebook, Instagram and Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by the combined powere and elegance of Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Vis Mystica – Album Review

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Vis Mystica – Celestial Wisdom

Dark Star Records/Asher Media Relations

Release date: 2nd December 2022

Running time: 24 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

7.5/10

Confession time: I don’t actually like Power Metal.  Widdly and flashy guitars; superfluous keyboards washing over everything; histrionic, high-pitched vocals – no thanks.  I mean, I can dig Iron Maiden and Judas Priest – do they count?  But otherwise, this particular metal sub-genre is not for me.

Vis Mystica are a Power Metal band.  But they’re a Star Wars themed Power Metal band, and no one is more steeped in Star Wars lore than me. No one.  You know the cantina scene in Episode IV?  I can name all the aliens in that scene, what planet they’re from, and what they’re doing there.  I’ve collected the action figures since 1978.  I can beat anyone – anyone – at Original Trilogy Trivial Pursuit.  Ask my other half, I’ve ruined a couple of dinner parties playing that game.

It’s not a huge claim to fame, but Star Wars fandom is all I have to offer in life.

So, let’s put my knowledge to use.  To be fair, musically “Celestial Wisdom” is far better than I feared.  The widdly guitars and pointless keyboards are present, but the music is fast and furious like a T-16 race in Beggar’s Canyon.  The vocals are solid and not overly dramatic, not Gungan-level annoying at all.  In fact, the first two tracks, ‘Whispering Winds of Fate’ and ‘Legacy of the Builders’ had me headbanging along like a Wookiee on a runaway Bantha.

Everything was going well till Track 4, ‘Lux Et Veritas’, when xylophone style plinky-plonk noises threatened to sink things faster than a proton torpedo in a two-metre-wide exhaust port.  It all suddenly sounds like Christmas music.  Thrashy, hyper-space speed guitars on ‘Beyond the Gates of Fury’ engage the nav-computer and manage to steer us back on course, thankfully.

Without a lyric sheet, it’s kind of hard to tell how much actual Star Wars nerd obscurities are present within these songs.  There are no lightsaber or R2 unit samples to add context, so I found the theme lacking a bit.  “Celestial Wisdom” is based around the Knights of the Old Republic comics/video games – alas, not my area of expertise – rather than the movies, so I may not have the wisdom I need to fully judge.  

Whilst Power Metal may not be my usual cup of blue milk, I’ve got to give credit to the musicianship and imagination of Vis Mystica for this endeavour.  The world needs more of this sort of thing.  It’s far more fun than I thought it would be: genuine fans of the Power Metal genre will probably get a lot out of it.  A bit more Star Wars next time, though, please lads?  I can help with the reference material if you like.

May the Force be with you!

Check out Vis Mystica on Facebook, Bandcamp, YouTube and Instagram.

This review has been proudly presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Hawarden Classic Car Show 2023

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Hawarden Classic Car Show

Gladstone Playing Fields, Hawarden

Saturday 27th May 2023

What a fantastic, sunny summer day it was! Beautiful weather, ideal for a laid back community event at the local park. This year’s Hawarden Classic Car Show, again organised by Deeside Round Table, showcased numerous classic cars from different times and places. There was also a bar, barbecue, music, numerous stalls and rides for the kids.

I turned up primarily to see the motors, photos of some you can see here. But the event itself was a lot of fun, and benefitted from the glorious sunshine.

This year I arrived earlier, and managed to take a photo of the gold Trans Am that eluded me last year. BOOM! Although as I arrived, an amazing yellow Mercury Cougar was rolling away. Never mind – if you scroll to my very first Motors post on Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, you’ll see the very same car.

There were some favourite cars from last year making another appearance – like the Chevy Impala – and lots of new surprises.

A great mix of vehicles of various types, plus a relaxed afternoon – all good. I finished things off with a couple of ciders (don’t worry, I wasn’t driving). Here’s to more days like this in the future.

You can see last year’s Hawarden Classic Car Show blog here.

Brant Bjork – Album Review

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Brant Bjork – Bougainvillea Suite

Heavy Psych Sounds

Release date: 28/10/2022

Running time: 42 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

Brant Bjork must be a very busy boy at the moment.  We’ve already had an album out earlier this year from his desert rock supergroup, Stoner, and now here’s a solo effort too.  He’s a multi-talented, multi-instrumentalist singer song writer and no mistake, offering up sonic expeditions of varying styles and pace.  Most of all, though, Brant seems to be a decent bloke who’d be ideal company for a beer or three.

For “Bougainvillea Suite”, we’re in a more laid back, but still rockin’ mode.  The album is like a combination of Santana and Steppenwolf, full of relaxed but vital summer vibes.  ‘Trip on the Wine’, our first song, has a similar stomp to The Door’s ‘Five to One’, but less angsty.  The late 60s-early 70’s groove is maintained throughout, ‘So They Say’ embellished with a sweet, melodic construction and ‘Broke That Spell’ having an early Purple raunch.

Stoner band mate Ryan Gut adds percussion and keys, whilst the final member of that trio, Nick Oliveri, pops up on ‘Bread for Butter’.  This track and ‘Ya Dig’ are two of the more direct, heads-down rockers, whilst the extended blues jam of ‘Who Do You Love’ is trippy territory augmented with some almost Stooges-like lead guitar.  This last track is a real highlight, it’s like a long-forgotten experiment involving all of the bands I’ve mentioned!

And that’s it: eight songs that whilst not easy listening, can be mellow, psychedelic and still rock your bones.  “Bougainvillea Suite” would make perfect summer evening listening, a beer and a BBQ as the clear sky fades to black, good times with good friends after a long day shredding a pool.  But it’s been released in late Autumn, so what do I know?  Just buy it and enjoy.

Find Brant Bjork on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Spotify and on a website here.

More info on Heavy Psych Sounds here, plus Facebook, Instagram and Bandcamp.

This review has been proudly presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Anti Nowhere League – Gig Review

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Anti Nowhere League + Red or Dead

Friday 21st April 2023

Buckley Tivoli

The crowds were thin at first at The Tivoli in Buckley, North Wales, for this evening’s entertainment – but that changed soon enough. Happily, the situation started to develop during the opening set, meaning that support band Red or Dead were able to play to fair sized crowd.

I say happily, ‘cos Red or Dead deserved to play to a decent size audience. Hailing from a bit further up the road in Conwy, the fourpiece are an accomplished group of musicians who are obviously inspired by classic 70’s punk, such as The Clash. Very impressive, with catchy tunes and a message, Red or Dead easily grabbed my attention and refused to hand it back. Definitely a band to keep an eye on, there’s a variety in sound and musicianship that hinted at an even wider repertoire – some research reveals they often play acoustic sets, which sounds very tempting.

Anti Nowhere League shouldn’t really require any introduction. I became aware of these deviants thanks to their association with The Damned many years ago, tales of debauchery spreading ahead of them like a bushfire. Now with just head lunatic Animal remaining in the band, he’s backed by a great, well tenured group of musicians who can really deliver on the band’s legacy, performing it with the respect – and ferocity – it deserves.

Hit singles aren’t really the order here, but of course ANL give us their wonderfully raucous treatment of “Streets of London” (yes, that one) in a set riddled with classics. That songs infamous B-side, the still unbelievably filthy “So What” makes an appearance too, earlier than I’d expected, complete with a concise history lesson from Animal, covering police raids and the later Metallica renaissance. The song still raises a smile and rocks like a nun on a washing machine.

The whole band play brilliantly, the result being a set that was even better than expected. For the uninitiated, Anti Nowhere League live in the corner of punk that’s largely UK Subs with a big, fat dollop of Motorhead. From “I Hate People”, “Let’s Break the Law”, a cover of Del Shannon’s “Runaway” (my Mother-in-Law wouldn’t dig it) and through to “We Are The League”, song after song is fast and furious with never a dud.

As anticipated, the audience loved it and the atmosphere in the Tiv was one not to be missed. Classic punk rock from Anti Nowhere League, who gave us quality tunes performed with the zeal and attitude it deserved. So glad I was there.

Battalions – Album Review

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Battalions – King of a Dead World

APF Records

Release date: 21/10/2022

Running time: 31 mins

Review by: Alun Jones

9.5/10

Battalions return with a pummelling new album, “King of a Dead World” from APF Records.  THE APF label can be relied upon for quality releases, and there’s no doubting that here.  Born of Hullfire – well, they come from Hull – and unleashed in streams of molten lava from the deepest catacombs, here Battalions are channelling all of their experience into a recording of sheer, elemental power.

It falls on the humbled shoulders of yours truly to attempt some journalistic summary of what we have here.  But in short – if you’re already a fan of (or just familiar) with Battalions, just go ahead and buy this now.  If you’re a new or curious listener, be prepared for a lesson in dense, thick Sludge.  With a capital ‘S’.

The music Battalions let loose on the world combines the heaviosity of Sludge with a persistent groove, underlined with the unrelenting intensity of hardcore.  First track ‘Green Boots’ demonstrates this perfectly, with a crushing riff that can make the listener nod their head and scream along.

Phil Wilkinson’s vocals are a harsh growl, well suited to the ferocity of tracks like ‘Parasite’.  The guitars of Pete Cross are punishing but also full of variety, as shown on ‘Coughing Nails’ (great title).  Meanwhile, Matthew Dennett on bass and Simon Harrison on drums manage to keep it all on track with precision.

‘Bones to Dust’ was another track that particularly impressed; a calmer start (by comparison) that erupts into a huge, bouncing riff which will sandpaper your face off.

“King of a Dead World” is chock full of great ideas and delivers on all of them.  Though relatively short at 31 minutes, the album wastes nothing and doesn’t out stay it’s welcome – you’ll want to replay it again and again.  It’s unforgiving, powerful and noisy – there’s no slumber on the Humber here.  Instead, join Battalions on the Highway to Hull, it’s a full on, exciting ride and you won’t regret it.      

Check out Battalions on Facebook, Twitter and Bandcamp.

Have a gander at the APF Records website, or Facebook, Bandcamp or Twitter.

This review is proudly presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

 

Goodbye, Jenna

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Last week was a sad one for our family. We had to say goodbye to Jenna, our cat. She was an old girl and had a good life. As Jenna was from a rescue centre, we’re not sure how old she was – we think about two years old when we got her, and she lived to be about 19.

Jenna

For my daughter Eloise, Jenna had been around all of her life. Eloise wrote a piece which I found very moving. I’ve shared it already on social media, but wanted to publish it here for posterity, and as a lasting tribute:

Goodbye, Jenna

By Eloise Jones

I’m going to miss you so much, Jenna. There hasn’t been a moment in my life where I haven’t been with you, and even when I was upset you’d come over to me and give me a cuddle.

It’s cruel I have to spend the rest of my life without you, when I have troubles and problems there won’t be a little skinny little cat for me to hold onto and ramble about my shit to.

You’ve been struggling for a while, and it’s only fair to let you go so you can be free and happy. So for now, au revoir, mon amour.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #30

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Boo-ya! It’s the thirtieth instalment of the ever popular Singles Night, where yours truly plays through a big ol’ stack of 45 rpm singles. It’s all vinyl, all the time folks, as I dig into the never ending pile of 7 inch wax.

Let’s take a look at he latest batch:

  1. The Four Horsemen – “Nobody Said It Was Easy” / “Homesick Blues”
  2. Van Halen – “When It’s Love” / “A Apolitical Blues”
  3. Ramones – “Baby, I Love You” / “High Risk Insurance”
  4. Chesney Hawkes – “The One and Only” / “It’s Gonna Be Tough”
  5. Brenda Lee – “Break It To Me Gently” / “So Deep” / “Tragedy” / “Will you Love Me Tomorrow”
  6. Lulu – “Boom Bang-a-Lang” / “March!”
  7. Rubettes – “Kid Runaway” / “Southbound Train”
  8. Neal Hefti – “Batman Theme” / “Holy Diploma, Batman – Straight A’s!”
  9. Charles Aznavour – “She” / “La Barraka”
  10. Bobby Goldsboro – “A Butterfly for Bucky” / “Another Night Alone”
  11. Phil Collins – “If Leaving Me is Easy” / “Drawingboard”
  12. Phil Collins – “Another Day in Paradise” / “Heat on the Street”
  13. Hawkwind – “Angels of Death” / “Trans-Dimensional Man”
  14. Van Halen – “Runnin’ with the Devil” / “D.O.A.”
  15. Perry Como – “My Days of Loving You” / “Happiness Comes, Happiness Goes”
  16. Alice Cooper – “Elected” / “Luney Tune”
  17. Judge Dread – “Big Seven” / “Dread”
  18. Golden Earring – “Radar Love” / “The Song is Over”
  19. Herb Alpert – “This Guy’s in Love With You” / “A Quiet Tear (Lagrima Quieta)”
  20. Shakin’ Stevens – “A Love Worth Waiting For” / “As Long As”

Well that box of singles I got for £5 is still stinking up the list a bit, hence the double Phil Collinson offer this time. At least double Van Halen more than compensates for that. Incidentally, I owned the “When It’s Love” single when I was a kid, bought it from Woolwroths in Shotton when it was released. This copy is a replacement, as my original was swopped a long time ago.

The Batman theme is quite possibly the best TV theme of all time, so glad I have that in the collection. Also, some genuine classics from Ramones, Hawkwind, Alice Cooper and Golden Earring made this one of the best sessions yet. And The Four Horsemen are great, though long forgotten band.

As I mentioned, the pile of 7 inch records never seems to dwindle, so there’ll be another Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub soon. Make sure you don’t miss it!

Nebula – Album Review

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Nebula – Transmissions from Mothership Earth

Heavy Pysch Sounds Records

Release date: 22.07.2022

Running time: 39 minutes

Review by: Alun Jones

9/10

As I write this, we’re sweltering in a record-breaking heatwave.  North Wales, which is where I’m based – and also where the nerve centre of Ever Metal can be found – has had some of the highest temperatures in the whole of the UK.  It’s crazy.  And so, a new album from desert rock titans Nebula seems extremely apt right now.  “Transmissions from Mother Ship Earth” has arrived at exactly the right time.

And it arrives with a welcome burst of fuzz drenched psych rock, exactly as expected, in first track, ‘Highwired’.  Big fat riff, dashes of space rock and a whiff of herbal cigarettes: classic Nebula, really.  Up next is the title track, which adds some nice, sixties secret agent vibes to the melting pot, together with a punishingly heavy section.

‘Wilted Flowers’ begins with a mellow guitar section before exploding into a thunderous head tripper.  There’s a feel of Mudhoney and the Stooges with Nebula’s best work, as evidenced here and with ‘Melt Your Head’.  Other tracks like ‘Warzone Speedwulf’ and “The Four Horseman’ sound like early Monster Magnet dripped in acid fried Steppenwolf and left to dry in a Tarantino desert landscape.    

No surprises then with this latest Nebula release, and with titles like ‘I Got So High’ you can guess exactly what to expect.  But who cares?  “Transmissions from Mothership Earth” is a solid album of pounding rhythms and spaced-out fuzz rock.  It’s bound to make my end of year best of list, and right now it’s the perfect soundtrack for summer.  Enjoy, fellow explorers – it’s gonna piss it down with rain tomorrow.

Talking about nebula and space and galaxies and all that, did I tell you about the great telescope trick we played on Bill Ward once?  It was at Brian May’s house, and he’s well into all that astrology business.  Bri’s got this huge telescope for star gazing.  So Tony, Ozzy, Geezer and me persuaded Bill to take a look.  What he didn’t know was that Brian had put black paint inside the lens, so Bill ended up with a great big, black monocle on his face.  Bill didn’t realise, and walked round like that all night – extremely paranoid as to why all the guests were laughing at him.  Great fun!

You can find Nebula on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Check out Heavy Psych Records online and on Bandcamp.

This review is a Platinum Al and Ever Metal joint presentation.