Torso – Brain Cells Album Review

Torso – Brain Cells 

APF Records 

Release date: 13/09/2024 

Running time: 31 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9.5/10 

Friday night.  I’ve just been down to the local video shop, had a scan of the horror section, took my time deciding which film to rent.  If it’s good I’ll watch it at least three times before I bring it back tomorrow.  Go for the one with the craziest sounding name and the most gonzoid image on the cover.  Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I just want to know which offers the most brain destroying, off the wall, lurid descent into madness..  Pay up and leg it home, video tape in hand.  Urgently load the clunky VHS player and wait for the image on screen to stop crackling and reveal its gory beauty… 

‘Brain Cells’ by horror metal deviants Torso bursts forth with a frantic commotion.  This is album number two from ex-Possessor frontman/guitarist Graham Bywater in his new guise as the Dark Lord of Grindhouse Schlock Terror.  APF records haven’t so much released this album, as unlocked the gates, stood well back and unleashed it upon the world in a tidal wave of bloody fury. 

Starting with the intense thrash of ‘You Belong in Hell’, the lo-fi atmosphere is captured perfectly.  Not that the production is poor, but this whole album has the vibe of an ancient cassette that’s been used and re-used many times.  Probably starting with Huey Lewis, then taped over with some early Maiden, then repeatedly re-recorded on again until it features Carcass and Entombed.   

As before, songs are peppered with random movie samples (good luck tracking the sources down, I’m stumped already), though there’s noticeably less of the John Carpenter-inspired keyboard instrumentals this time around.  No matter, the drive-in B-movie atmosphere is ever present here – both ‘Savage Magic’ and ‘Brain Cells’, in particular, help see to that. 

Key highlights you won’t want to miss include ‘Deep Space Death Trap’ with its unforgiving, virulent chorus and raw, fuzzed up riffs; and ‘Hex Pest’, which roars along as if possessed by a filthy, NWOBHM-obsessed demon biker. 

“Brain Cells” is an underground garage-metal thrill ride from opening act to final curtain.  It’s glorious, murderous fun for all – you’ll want to rewind and go from the start again, as soon as it’s finished.  A nasty, blood splattered triumph for Torso and a Top Ten of 2024 album for me.   

Find out more about Torso on Bandcamp and their APF Records page.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Uncle Slam – Album Review

Uncle Slam – Will Work for Food/When God Dies 

Dissonance/Cherry Red Records 

Release date: 26/07/2024 

Running time: 2 CD compilation 21 tracks 

Review by: Alun Jones 

7.5/10 

Wow, was I asleep or something there?  How did I manage to miss Uncle Slam back in the late 80s/early 90s heyday of crossover?  At that point in time, I was 100% in this bands target demographic: young skateboarder with a love of hardcore punk and thrash metal.  And yet Uncle Slam and I never crossed paths till now.  Thanks to Dissonance/Cherry Red records, we have this double album compilation of the bands second and third albums, and I can fill in some gaps. 

The obvious starting point here is Suicidal Tendencies.  It’s a lazy option to begin here, but the similarities in sound and style between Uncle Slam and ST are so abundant that we can’t ignore them.  Both bands are from the Venice, LA scene, with various members of Suicidal appearing within the ranks of Uncle Slam at one point or another.  Anyone (like me) just arriving to this mosh pit will be astounded how the Slam guys seem to have been largely forgotten. 

The first album, “Will Work For Food”, features a satisfying metal crunch along with the punk energy.  To be fair, the influence of ST, early COC and DRI mingle with the classic thrash of Testament and Nuclear Assault pretty seamlessly.  Fans of any of those bands will dive straight into ‘Left for Dead’ and ‘Roadkill’ right from the off.  The rest of disc 1 follows in a similar frenzy of crunching metal guitars and aggressive pace, and it’s all great fun.  The only oddity is a re-working of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Dazed and Confused’, barely recognisable as it’s been reimagined so drastically – but brilliant for it. 

Disc 2 presents us with Uncle Slam’s third and final album, ”When God Dies”, released in 1995.  By this time, dominant musical genres had fluctuated, and this record shows Uncle Slam developing their sound.  The title track opener thus delivers more chunky metal, but shoe-horns some funky breaks in the style of (Suicidal off-shoot) Infectious Grooves.  It’s a less thrash, more punk and alt rock influenced sound, but although something of a departure, it still works for the most part.  As a result, songs like ‘Procreation’ still rock, but ‘Summer in Space’ is just silly. 

For some, this collection will be too similar to good old Suicidal Tendencies to stand on its own merit.  I would disagree: there are plenty of other influences here, not just the main offenders.  And who cares, anyway?  This isn’t just a sound, it’s a whole vibe – Venice beach, Dogtown, punk rock and skateboarding on a never-ending summer vacation.  Uncle Slam deserve their moment in the spotlight, and I’m not gonna deprive them of it.  Neither should you. 

There’s some Uncle Slam on Spotify for you to check out.

This review is presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Orange Goblin – Album Review

Orange Goblin – Science, Not Fiction 

Peaceville 

Release date: 19/07/2024 

Running time: 51 minutes approx 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9/10 

Pointless review of the month time!  But why, pray tell, is this review of the new Orange Goblin album “pointless”?  Because, old pal, literally everyone knows that Orange Goblin are a BIG THING.  And they haven’t released an album for seven years.  So this release, surely, will be near the top of everyone’s wish list for 2024.  Especially in the case of our esteemed Ever Metal readers, who as we all know, are a cut above the rest of the uncultured rabble out there. 

Without patronising our dear readership in anyway, a new release from these London doom/stoner/heavy metal scoundrels is, and should be, a BIG THING. 

Anyone who’s already a fan of Orange Goblin can expect more of what has come before, but it’s safe to say, “Science, Not Fiction” is amped up a little more than usual.  The same killer riffs, powerful delivery, ace musicianship, clever style variations are all in place as expected, but tweaked just a little higher.  Right from first listen, it’s obvious that quality control has been merciless on this recording, resulting in a collection of peak songcraft.    

‘The Fire at the Center of the Earth is Mine’ opens the engines in fine form.  After a cacophonous intro marked by belching bass, the riff kicks in and the ride begins.  A furious “death boogie” with a super catchy, uplifting chord structure for the chorus, this is prime Goblin. 

There’s no room for a breather, with second track ‘(Not) Rocket science’ bolting out next – a relentless hell ride that features a killer lead bass break (courtesy of new four stringer Harry Armstrong).  It’s probably my favourite song on the album: Ben Ward’s voice booming and Joe Hoare’s guitar threatening to jump the gate and roar off into the night on its own. 

An epic, mid-seventies Sabbath-doom vibe pervades ‘False Hope Diet’, with its bouncing groove and changes.  ‘Cemetary Rats’ starts with a gloomy, gothic vibe before exploding into something akin to old school thrash a la Testament.  Through all tracks, Chris Turner’s drums are dependably solid and thunderous. 

‘The Justice Knife’ is another fast rocker that benefits from some outer space wah-wah guitar, though generally speaking, the latter half of the album doesn’t quite have the heights of invention that earlier tracks possess.  The last song, ‘End of Transmission’, fields a suitably epic and raucous finale, however – soaring through sections with determined power. 

My only slight gripe with “Science, Not Fiction” is that the bonus track ‘Eye of the Minotaur’ appears to be CD only – which means vinyl fanatics like yours truly will miss out.  Nevermind, this album is a devastating power house of modern metal.  Orange Goblin have created a record that demonstrates all we love them for, and ladled on a good-sized helping of extra sauce to sweeten the deal.  One of THE albums of 2024, “Science, Not Fiction” will be guaranteed a place in my annual Top10.      

Check out Orange Goblin on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify and Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al in association with Ever Metal. 

Saltpig – Album Review

Saltpig – Self Titled 

Heavy Psych Sounds 

Release date: 31/05/2024 

Running time: 39 mins approx 

Review by: Alun Jones 

8.5/10 

Here go with a tasty treat, the wonderfully named Saltpig with their self-titled debut album.  And who are Saltpig?  The band are a duo consisting of drummer Fabio Alessandrini (formerly of Annihilator) and Mitch Davis (formerly of everyone from Mark Lanegan and U2 to Damon Albarn, crazy!) on everything else.  Together they have created this mysterious yet compelling piece of work, released by the ever-reliable Heavy Psych Sounds. 

The musician’s previous experience is superficially surprising, as Saltpig’s album is a rutting beast comprised of doom, stoner, psych and occult rock parts in equal measure.  Filthy, fuzzy riffs and manically clattering drums are what we get, and we get it good – right from the rolling, rollicking menace of ‘Satan’s War’ onwards.    

Gutsy and powerful, not bloated, the next four tracks follow the opener in a similar unforgivingly retro style.  Songs like ‘Demon’ and ‘Burning Water ‘ go unashamedly full throttle, proto metal with bouncy rhythms, aggression and melody.    

‘When You Were Dead’ slows the pace slightly for a classic Sabbath gloom rocker.  ‘Burn the Witch’ has a slinkier, groovier feel and ticks the obscure horror film dialogue box, too.  No idea where that sample is taken from, but I feel I should… 

Finally, this all leads up to a mega epic called ‘1950’, nigh on twenty-minutes of repetitive, fuzz drenched pummelling guitar and distorted vocals that builds slowly, has only subtle variation for the most part and threatens to drive the listener mad.  That may sound like hell to some, but I bloody loved it.  It’s a dark, tormenting, almost religious experience and strangely intriguing. 

Saltpig’s first album is an enigma: heavy as hell, brutal, surprising, hypnotic and fascinating.  I’ve slapped on an easily deserved score of 8.5, but this could go higher over time. 

Anyone fancy a bacon sandwich? 

Check out Saltpig’s website here, or find them on Facebook, Instagram or Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.