This has become something of a seasonal tradition at the Virtual Hot Tub: a celebration of the gaudy and tasteless at Christmas. Yes, this year I present to you more kitsch Christmas baubles, at a time of year when we’re surrounded by tat.
First up this year, a jar of peanut butter. Crunchy, of course – we have none of that smooth filth in this house.
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Secondly, my daughter’s bauble from her own Christmas tree – a snail with a shiny finish. When she was about four years old, my daughter had a pet snail in the back yard that she called Slow Tim. So here’s Slow Tim’s festive brother.
I hope you enjoy these Christmas tree decorations, they certainly amused me!
May I wish you all, the valued readers of Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Thanks to you all for reading this blog, coming back time after time – I couldn’t do it without you.
It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid… Certainly not when North East Wales Metal Productions are having their Christmas party! Yes, it’s Chrismosh, an annual celebration featuring awesome metal bands, playing live in McClean’spub in Pentre, North East Wales. Also the site of Pentre Fest, an event I regularly go crackers for – not to mention other gigs aplenty – this evening was a special seasonal gathering.
First up were Divinitas, from over in Manchester, who stepped in to fill the bill at the last minute, saving the day like Prince Charming on a steed of steel. These lads are loud and ferocious, unleashing chunky riffs that made the room bounce. The songs (particularly the closer, ‘Mirror Fiction’ – if I recall the name correctly) feature harsh vocals wrapped in torment and frustration. Divinitas played a devastating set that was energetic and performed with admirable conviction.
Next up were Liverpudlian metal titans Devil’s Henchmen, who not only have some of the best t-shirt designs I’ve seen in ages, they can also utterly destroy. These guys play music that reminds me why I loved thrash so much back in the eighties. Reminiscent of old school Slayer, Devil’s Henchmen are fast and utterly brutal. They even play a Misfits cover (‘Where Eagles Dare’, YEAH!!!) in a set that had usjumping around like the Krampus with his hooves on fire. Absolutely bloody marvellous.
Our final band of the night, the mighty, magnificent King Kraken, had travelled up from South Wales (a fair old trek, believe me) to deliver a sleigh full of Christmas cheer. Since they played at Pentre Fest back in February, I’ve waited impatiently for the return of this band and their groove metal machine. The boys don’t disappoint, with monsters like ‘Green Terror’ and ‘Devil’s Night’ as exciting and powerful as ever. We’re even treated to a couple of new tracks, never performed live before – truly, Christmas has arrived early! With a superb set, King Kraken are simply unstoppable, a perfect way to end the night.
Three great bands, a welcoming venue, organised by the ever-reliable NEW Metal Productions. Thank you. Merry Chrismosh to all, and to all, a good night.
Let’s talk about Tankzilla. To start, what a rad name! According to the band’s PR, “Satan fucked a Panzer and the offshoot is Tankzilla”. Which pretty much sums everything up nicely. So nicely, in fact, that the rest of this review is a bit pointless.
Tankzilla are actually a duo consisting of Peter Van Elderen (guitar and vocals) and Marcin Hurkmans (drums), who started jamming together after their previous bands split. Before you get clever and assume that these guys are gonna be just like Royal Blood, they’re not. They have a whole lot more Motorhead in their dirty DNA.
‘Lucifer’, the first track, proves this nicely, with an opening riff reminiscent of ‘Deaf Forever’ by Lemmy’s crew. The song quickly erupts into a bludgeoning juggernaut all of its own, crushing everything in its path and setting the course for the rest of this slab of sonic destruction.
Yes, the power of the mighty riff rules in Tankzilla’s blitzkrieg campaign. ‘Crossroad’ drops more loud bombs adding a funky feel, while tracks such as ‘Wolfpack’ and ‘Soulsurfer’ have a hard rocking edge. The assault slows a little with ‘Brother from Another Mother’, but keeps unleashing maximum firepower. Bonus points for the sample from The Mandalorian too in ‘Mutant Freak’. This is the way!
The final song, ‘Hard Way’, has a Melvins vibe to it – something else which makes me very happy indeed. Whether firing on all cylinders or easing off the gas a little here and there, this debut album is devastatingly excellent. Tankzilla are a relentless, riff loaded monster and nothing can resist their onslaught. Definite Top Ten of the year list for me.
No time now, but remind me to tell you about that time with Motorhead in Europe, when we took the band to visit a military museum on a day off. Philthy was hungover, so Lem let him sleep it off in an old Russian tank. We closed the hatch and scarpered, leaving Phil in there all day. He only just made it to the next gig in Copenhagen by the skin of his teeth.
Yet another massive coup for the good ol’ Tiv! The Tivoli Venue in Buckley, North Wales is a legendary spot and has attracted some amazing, big names over the years. The latest to pay a visit and astonish us with their prowess were alt-rock icons Living Colour. This was, indeed, a big deal. I bought my ticket as soon as it was announced.
No surprise, the Tiv was packed to the rafters on this Saturday evening. It was a good atmosphere from the start, a feeling of warm anticipation in the air. I caught up with several friends old and new, but that meant I didn’t get much experience of support band Red Zephyr. What I did hear, they seemed to be a supremely capable and enjoyable hard rock band – one to investigate further in the future.
Now me and Living Colour go back some way. I still have an old 7 inch vinyl Sounds EP featuring the band that a friend gave me in 1988, which is where my fandom began. I’ve never seen them live though (ah, if only I’d been able to go to Lollapalooza 1991!), so this gig was really something to look forward to.
Opening with their infectious track “Middle Man” before launching into playing their “Stain” album in full, it was immediately obvious that Living Colour were still at the top of their game and playing exceptionally well. It was also nice to be reminded just how many great songs – and of varying styles and grooves – this band have in their repertoire. Crunchy metal provided by guitar maestro Vernon Reid on “Go Away” nestles up comfortably with the sublime pop of “Nothingness”. On all tracks, the Haribo fuelled voice of Corey Glover roared majestically and crooned sweetly.
Post “Stain” run-through saw a jigsaw of originals and covers, the highlight being a 50 years of Hip-Hop medley featuring “White Lines” and “The Message”. Doug Wimbish, the king of bass, shone here, although his skills dazzled all night. And drum master Will Calhoun gets a well deserved solo spot: he ably showed both relentless power and effortless grace throughout.
Of course, two of the big crowd pleasers are “Love Rears It’s Ugly Head” – which is uncannily well played – and the crushing, monster riff of “Cult of Personality”. All the songs sound great, with Corey’s vocals in particular sounding like they came direct off the vinyl.
Well done to all at the Tiv for making this happen, and huge thanks to Living Colour for turning up and playing their hearts out. They had the musical skills, they were vibrant and entertaining on stage – Living Colour absolutely ruled one of the best Tiv nights in a long, long time.
Witnere (their name is Olde English for tormentor: so far, so cool) are a British metal band comprised of Jason Taylor on drums and Declan Doyle on the guitar and bass. Vocals are shared, and also aided with the assistance of their comrade Scott. This is their second album, produced and released by the band themselves.
“Albion Aflame” is rooted in a solid, defined concept: Britain in the Dark Ages, and the myth – or history, maybe – concerning King Arthur. Immediately, this foundation elevates Witnere to a higher standing, with plenty to explore. First track ‘410 AD’ is a folky number that captures the theme brilliantly, dropping the listener right into the frame.
From there, it’s an album of magic, prophecy and bloody battles amidst a collection of powerful songs. ‘Merlin’s Warning’ gallops off in an Iron Maiden style, relentless drums and guitars roaring. Great melodic instrumental section, fiery lead – all top quality, with a riff you can hum (this is v important). ‘Furor Saxonicus’ is a fast paced, face ripper – and again also very catchy. You can head bang and chant along, waving your air sword at imaginary enemies.
‘King of the Britons’ features another agile, speedy riff that conjures the melodic approach of Thin Lizzy. The rest of the songs follow in this style – without losing their appeal – until we reach the epic ‘Avalon’. Our story is almost over: acoustic guitar intro gives way to a more sombre, though still awesome, finale that builds on quieter verses and rousing choruses.
There’s a lot to take in lyric wise (a lyric sheet would be great), but the vocals across the album – whoever they’re delivered by – are varied and confident.
The production on this recording is extremely impressive: it’s crisp and clear, without sounding “nice”. ‘Albion Aflame’ benefits from excellent musicianship and performances, too. What’s most impressive, though, is the level of story telling detail that Witnere are able to create. There’s a lot of care and passion gone into every element of this album, from the research to the execution. ‘Albion Aflame’ surprised me with its professionalism and depth. You don’t have to use sorcery to track this album down, but I suggest you waste no time in doing so.
The Lords of Altamont – To Hell With Tomorrow, The Lords Are Now!
Heavy Psyche Sounds Records
Release date: 17/03/2023
Running time: 35 minutes
Review by Alun Jones
9.5/10
Ladies and gentlemen, I am excited! Why am I excited, you ask? Because I freakin’ love this album by the Lords of Altamont, that’s why! Here we have ten unrelenting tracks (plus a bonus) of fast and furious rock’n’roll, created by a gang of motorbikin’ miscreants on their own highway to hell. It’s leather, denim, roaring hogs and cheap booze fuelled rock the way that it should be.
Now you may know I’m a tad dubious about live albums. Often times, live records are fumbled contract fillers or a shoddy cash in. Well, you can relax here, pilgrim – “To Hell With Tomorrow, The Lords Are Now!” is a live in the studio release with pristine sound. It doesn’t lack the crowd atmos, but it does more than over achieve by being a rowdy collection of tunes performed as if the band are in the room, right there with you.
If you’re new to the Lords of Altamont, you can expect an explosion of gritty rock’n’roll instilled with the sound of garage rock, Detroit punk and 60’s R&B. So hang on tight as The Lords tear through filthy, feel good tracks like “Going Nowhere Fast”, “Velvet” and “Going Downtown”. Sing along with the wind in your face to “I Said Hey” and shake your booty to “7th Day” – all of these infectious tracks will hit their mark.
This album works as a great introduction to the band and their two decades plus history, in a no nonsense, no holds barred presentation. Like a forgotten B-movie soundtrack from 1969, “To Hell With Tomorrow…” is one for all the rebels and wild ones out there. Park up, step inside the truck stop and let yourself go.
What’s For the Love of Horror all about, then? Well readers, it’s basically a Horror themed convention that takes in all manner of frightful pop culture, be it movies, television, comic books and everything else you can imagine. If you’ve been to a Comic Con – or read one of my previous blogs about the ones I’ve visited – then you’ll know what to expect.
Except of course, that For the Love of Horror really is concentrated on all things horrific!
As you’d expect, there are numerous actors to meet, have photos with or autographs from. And you can listen to their Q&A sessions, ask questions, and gain insight into the real world behind the fantasy.
There are dozens of stalls with traders selling wondrous merchandise, for all your spooky needs (whether for you or someone else). There are also props and set displays for cleverly placed photo ops.
Not forgetting the guests themselves, a large number of whom dress as their favourite genre characters (or clever interpretations of). Yes, the Cosplayers here at For the Love of Horror are truly amazing – check out the pics on this blog for evidence! Halloween outfits never go out of style here!
It was a family day out for us, and we arrived early at the exhibition centre to get straight in and crack on. After getting an idea of our surroundings, we were happy to explore and wander round the trade stalls for a start.
At the very first stall I visited on the day, I picked up a Vampira Reaction figure that I’d been hoping to find. Only just recently released in the USA, this was the first one I’d ever seen for sale in this country. Needless to say, I snapped Vampira up immediately. Not a bad start to the day, first stop and an item for the collection!
Mrs Platinum Al had booked to meet the one and only Chris Sarandon, alias Jack Skellington (amongst many other credits) and have a signed photo taken. Daughtertron accompanied her to meet Mr Sarandon, leaving me to take a few photos elsewhere.
We took some pics at the various set displays, including a Chucky box which I stood in – a kind couple let me borrow their life size Chucky doll for the photo!
The best display, however was The Lost Frog Comics – a replica of the Frog Brothers comic shop in The Lost Boys. The owner has meticulously curated a collection of comic books that appeared in the film, from stills and reference shots, utilising some amazing detective work. As a comic book collector I was fully geeked out, admiring all the titles on display. It’s an incredibly impressive labour of love that recreates one of my favourite scenes in the film.
Speaking of The Lost Boys, several of the cast were in attendance on the day, including Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, Billy Wirth and Alex Winter. Did you hear me???! I said Alex Winter!!! Bill S Preston himself! Sorry, I know Bill isn’t a horror character, but come on. All three of us went up to get a signed photo from Alex, because you just have to do these things sometimes.
We also caught some Q&As where we could, including Brad and Fiona Dourif and Lou Diamond Phillips. All entertaining speakers, showing another side to their screen personas (often with hilarious results!).
There was plenty more shopping to be had – I picked up a Geeki Tiki mug in the shape of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark which I’d wanted forever. The family managed to go slightly crazy and blow the Christmas money on a range of freaky merch!
Of course the fantastic Cosplayers were the real stars of the show. My thanks to all the wonderful costumed people who let me take their photo for this blog – you’re all awesome! I’m not a professional photographer by any means, so my pics aren’t perfect – I’m just a fan who loves to see the creativity on display.
There was a quick visit to the outdoor fairground (in the spirit of the Santa Clara fair in The Lost Boys), and I had a cheeky pint in the bar upstairs, that’s themed after the Mos Eisley cantina in Star Wars. That was very cool. Eventually, it was time to make our way home, ull of the love of horror.
Yeah, yeah – I know! Just keep quiet and probably no one will notice. Ok, this review should’ve been written weeks ago, but if you just keep schtum and play along, I might just get away with it, OK? OK??!! Right, they’re coming – remember the plan!
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! Yes ‘tis I, your humble scribe, with another review of a new (ahem) album that I’m sure will tantalise your aural orifices. This time, a piece of musical majesty entitled “The Ever-Living Fire”, by a superb group of musicians known as Slumbering Sun. Comprised of members of Destroyer of Light, Monte Luna and Temptress, the pedigree is certainly top notch.
Musically, Slumbering Sun offer a collection of melodic, progressive doom that drags numerous styles into its bubbling cauldron of influences.
Opening song ‘Morgenröte‘ starts with an ethereal blend of female vocal, guitar and violin, conjuring the sort of misty morning amongst druidic stones that I might encounter on the mystical isle of Anglesey in Wales. Two and half minutes in, and a huge megalithic guitar erupts into the proceedings, and over the course of the remaining 10 minutes the band are more like an orchestra than a typical rock band – passages ebb and flow, heavy and light, revisiting themes on their journey.
Track 2, ‘Liminal Bridges’, commences with a mellow intro, before the song explodes into a shinier, brighter – dare I say, uplifting? – vibe. It’s like Thin Lizzy composed a mega Sabbath epic and decided to hurtle off into the forest with it. ‘Love in a Fallen World’ reverts to a more sombre feel again, but features a great guitar melody and builds slowly and satisfactorily.
‘Dream Snake’ is my personal highlight of the record: unsurprisingly, as it’s the most Sabbath of all the tunes here (even down to the Ozzy-like vocals). Finally, there’s just over 9 minutes of lumbering, doom laden exploration on the title track, which manages to cover massive prog metal sections and a huge “na na na” backing vocal.
Track by track then, that’s your overview of “The Ever-Living Fire” by Slumbering Sun. The band certainly don’t aim low, throwing in a varied collection of sounds and ideas from classic doom to Celtic folk. I mean, they’re from the southern states of the USA, they’ve probably never been to Llandudno! The album is hugely creative, but it is somewhat dense – it’ll take a few listens to appreciate. Magical stuff when it falls into place, though.
Make no mistake: a new album from Oxford riff titans Desert Storm should be marked on your calendar with gleeful anticipation. Three years ago, when I reviewed their release du jour “Omens” for the mighty Ever Metal, I proclaimed that here was a home-grown band who could really step up to national consciousness. I threw my horned Viking helmet in the ring then, and I’m standing by that statement now.
If you want dirty, big, caveman stoner rock then you’ll find it on lead bruiser ‘Master of None’. If you crave sludge-ridden creations that still have groove in full force, it’s here on ‘Druid’s Heath’ and ‘Insomniac’. Thudding, slow paced doom? You’ll need to hear ‘Self Deprecation’. Most importantly, if you want heavy music that’s progressive, daring and unafraid to explore whatever sonic vistas can be conjured, you’ll find that too – and plenty of it.
What impresses most of all with “Death Rattle” is how much further Desert Storm are willing to go to really push the boundaries. Every song is intricately crafted with multiple sections and features for different instruments and sounds. The molten fury is tempered with instrumental passages that are – well, beautiful. ‘Bad Trip’ is the best, but by no means only example: warm, mellow passages that build to shattering crescendos.
I’ve never given a ten out of ten review ever for Ever Metal, because I’m a miserable old bastard. Still haven’t been quite that generous. But “Death Rattle” almost persuaded me to go to the max. It’s really that fucking good. The musicianship, the creativity, the execution: all brilliantly awe-inspiring. And it gets better with each listen!
“Death Rattle” has been created by Desert Storm, and released by APF Records. Listen to it, live with it, explore it. One of the best albums of the year, no doubt.
Our first Hammer Films production for Halloween Horror Fest 2023, and it’s a vampire classic. In this sequel to Hammer’s very successful Dracula, the titular Count doesn’t actually appear this time round – rather we’re thrust into the thick of vampire cults that still exist after Drac’s demise.
A young teacher, Marianne (Yvonne Monlaur) is on her way to her new position in a Transylvanian school when she finds herself abandoned in a small village. A local noble woman, Baroness Meinster, offers a place to stay for the night at her castle. There, Marianne meets the son of the Baroness, who is chained up as a prisoner. Marianne agrees to free the Baron, who is of course actually a vampire and takes his revenge on his mother.
Marianne flees, her memory hazy, and is helped by Doctor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) when he finds her at the side of road. Van Helsing has been called to the area to investigate an outbreak of vampirism. Soon he, and Marianne, will encounter the Baron and his undead minions again…
Brides of Dracula is a fun escapade with plenty of chills and atmosphere, even with a substitute head vampire replacing Christopher Lee. The story is original but plays on all the standard folklore you’d expect, with Cushing fantastic in his role as the vampire slayer. It’s a nice effort from Hammer, to try and do something slighlty different with a sequel, and Peter Cushing keeps it all together brilliantly.
9/10
House of Usher (1960)
Purely by chance, another film from the same year. This version of the Edgar Allen Poe story, The Fall of the House of Usher, was the first in a series helmed by famed Director Roger Corman, most of which starred the legendary Vincent Price.
Philip Winthrop (Mark Damon) travels top meet his fiancée Madeline Usher (Myrna Fahey) at her home. The House of Usher is a gloomy, decrepit mansion and upon arrival, Madeline’s brother, Roderick (Price) initially refuses Winthrop and attempts to warn him away. The family Usher is cursed, he claims, and the line cannot be allowed to continue. Winthrop must help Madeline escape, he thinks – but is he too late?
It’s a long time since I read Poe’s original story, so I’ll let others decide how accurate an adaptation this is! Rather than worrying about that, simply revel in the wonderful sets and imagery, and allow Vincent Price to shine in this brilliant movie. House of Usher is a fantastically macabre Gothic tale with Corman and Price at their best.
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