Return of the Living Halloween Horror Fest

Two horror reviews for you this time, friends! Read on, if you dare…

The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)

The second instalment in a series of Frankenstein films produced by Hammer, The Revenge of Frankenstein followed hot on the heels of its predecessor. The Curse of Frankenstein had been released the previous year, and was such a hit that a sequel was demanded. Despite, of course, the fact that the evil Baron had been executed at the finale last time.

No matter, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing, of course) is saved from death with a fairly sneaky twist, and is soon practicing medicine in a far off town. Going by the name of Doctor Stein (no one’s gonna figure that out, right?), the doc sets up a successful practice for wealthy patients, whilst also looking after the poor at a hospital.

Joined by a younger doctor, Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews) – who learns Dr Stein’s true identity and wants to learn from him – Frankenstein is soon up to his old tricks. This time around, his creation (Michael Gwynn) at least looks normal, if only at first. It isn’t long before the inevitable happens and everything goes downhill, big time.

The production looks quality and performances are great, in particular Cushing who brilliantly darts between menace and a steely charm. Some gory surgery provides the bloody horror required and The Revenge of Frankenstein admirably fulfils its role as gruesome entertainment. We just know that another sequel will be along soon!

8/10

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

So this is the film that establishes the concept of zombies eating brains, yeah? OK. One thing is for sure, this comedy-horror is not a sequel to Romero’s brilliant Night of the Living Dead. The Return of The living Dead is a very different beast, though still in a cult league of its own as a horror punk classic.

At a medical supply warehouse, two employees accidentally release a load of toxic gas which reanimates a cadaver and causes all kinds of health and safety high jinks. The morgue over the road has a crematorium, which seems ideal for permanently destroying the undead evidence. Until the escaping gas contaminates the clouds above, and rainfall on the nearby cemetery causes the dead to rise…

Oh, did I mention the gang of punks in the cemetery, waiting for their friend to finish work at the medical supply place? No? Well they are, and you can guess the rest.

This mid eighties movie is not something I’d usually watch. In fact, the main reason I wanted to watch this film is because of the legendary soundtrack, which features a load of awesome horror related punk bands like The Cramps, The Damned and TSOL. A vinyl copy has been on my shopping list for a long time, but I wanted to see the film first so I didn’t feel like too much of a fraud.

The film is pretty good fun, though. It’s fairly dumb and only occasionally does the black humour raise a smile, but The Return of the Living Dead was certainly worth a watch. It’s over the top – unapologetically so – but that’s part of it’s success. Disengage brain and go for it. The soundtrack is bloody great, by the way. I’ve got it on clear with red blood splattered vinyl. AT LAST!!!

7.5/10

Twins of Halloween Horror Fest

Twins of Evil (1971)

You can’t go wrong with some good old fashioned Hammer Horror! Here we have Twins of Evil, the third and final part of Hammer’s Karnstein Trilogy, based on Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. We’ve already viewed the preceding movies – The Vampire Lovers and Lust For A Vampire – during previous Halloween Horror Fests, so let’s finish off the series.

Mary and Madeleine Collinson play two identical twin sisters, who are sent to live with their uncle and aunt after they become orphaned. Uncle Gustav – played with menace by the one and only Peter Cushing – is a puritanical zealot, keen on burning local young women at the stake. Gusatv’s stern attitude alienates both sisters, but Frieda in particular is keen to break away. She falls in with local wicked aristocrat Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas), who has become a vampire through his dabbling in black magic.

Soon Frieda follows the Count’s descent into vampirism. Will the witch hunting Brotherhood be able to destroy this evil? Will anyone be able to tell good sister from bad?

Regular readers will know I’m a huge Hammer fan. Whilst Twins of Evil is, for me, the weakest of the Karnstein Trilogy, it’s still great. The witch hunting angle lends a new and particularly horrific edge here (sad to see Judy Matheson exit so quickly) and Cushing is formidable in this role. Vampires, sorcery and some cheeky decolletage tick all the necessary boxes, and despite a rushed (but gruesome) ending, this is another Hammer triumph.

8/10

The Fall of the House of Halloween Horror Fest

Brides of Dracula (1960)

Our first Hammer Films production for Halloween Horror Fest 2023, and it’s a vampire classic. In this sequel to Hammer’s very successful Dracula, the titular Count doesn’t actually appear this time round – rather we’re thrust into the thick of vampire cults that still exist after Drac’s demise.

A young teacher, Marianne (Yvonne Monlaur) is on her way to her new position in a Transylvanian school when she finds herself abandoned in a small village. A local noble woman, Baroness Meinster, offers a place to stay for the night at her castle. There, Marianne meets the son of the Baroness, who is chained up as a prisoner. Marianne agrees to free the Baron, who is of course actually a vampire and takes his revenge on his mother.

Marianne flees, her memory hazy, and is helped by Doctor Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) when he finds her at the side of road. Van Helsing has been called to the area to investigate an outbreak of vampirism. Soon he, and Marianne, will encounter the Baron and his undead minions again…

Brides of Dracula is a fun escapade with plenty of chills and atmosphere, even with a substitute head vampire replacing Christopher Lee. The story is original but plays on all the standard folklore you’d expect, with Cushing fantastic in his role as the vampire slayer. It’s a nice effort from Hammer, to try and do something slighlty different with a sequel, and Peter Cushing keeps it all together brilliantly.

9/10

House of Usher (1960)

Purely by chance, another film from the same year. This version of the Edgar Allen Poe story, The Fall of the House of Usher, was the first in a series helmed by famed Director Roger Corman, most of which starred the legendary Vincent Price.

Philip Winthrop (Mark Damon) travels top meet his fiancée Madeline Usher (Myrna Fahey) at her home. The House of Usher is a gloomy, decrepit mansion and upon arrival, Madeline’s brother, Roderick (Price) initially refuses Winthrop and attempts to warn him away. The family Usher is cursed, he claims, and the line cannot be allowed to continue. Winthrop must help Madeline escape, he thinks – but is he too late?

It’s a long time since I read Poe’s original story, so I’ll let others decide how accurate an adaptation this is! Rather than worrying about that, simply revel in the wonderful sets and imagery, and allow Vincent Price to shine in this brilliant movie. House of Usher is a fantastically macabre Gothic tale with Corman and Price at their best.

8.5/10

Scars of Halloween Horror Fest

Scars of Dracula (1970)

At last, some Hammer! My favourite horror film studio, Hammer Films are at their best telling a gothic tale, which is exactly what we get with Scars of Dracula. Some may find them dated, old fashioned, campy – I love these movies and the wonderful fantasy atmospheres they create.

In Scars of Dracula, we meet Paul (Christopher Matthews). Paul is a bit of a lad – he ends up bailing out of a young ladies boudoir and through a series of misadventures, finds his way to Dracula’s castle. The Count (Christopher Lee, of course) has been resurrected yet again, and together with his faithful assistant Klove (Patrick Trouighton) and vampire bride (Anouska Hempel), Paul’s over night stay becomes permanent.

But have no fear, Pauls brother Simon (the legendary Dennis Waterman) and his fiancée Sarah (lovely Jenny Hanley) decide to find Paul. It’s not long before they encounter the same spooky castle, with it’s creepy servant and menacing Count…

This chapter of Hammer’s Dracula series feels a little disjointed from the previous movies. It was obviously intended as a reboot, though despite some nods to the original source material it feels like a re-tread of all the old clichés. That said, the performances are good (Lee actually gets some dialogue here) and there’s plenty of Hammer atmosphere.

I haven’t watched Scars of Dracula for quite a few years, but I enjoyed more than I thought. There’s more to enjoy than I remembered.

8.5/10

The Werewolf (1956)

A great 50’s creature feature, The Werewolf follows the story of an American community threatened by a savage beast. We meet a lone man with no memory, who transforms into a monster when he’s attacked. The local law enforcement lock down the town and hunt for the creature, whilst those responsible – two scientists who are conducting wild experiments – want to erase the evidence.

This old B&W movie was lots of fun and despite a low budget, it’s well made. My only criticism is that the werewolf in question is a scientific creation, rather than supernatural – but that plays into the script well enough. The Werewolf was surprisingly good and an ideal Halloween watch for a lazy afternoon!

7.5/10

The Plague of Halloween Horror Fest

Halloween may be over, but Platinum Al’s still got a couple of movie reviews for ya! Well, I didn’t get time to write ’em up before bed time on the 31st – so here they are!

The Plague of the Zombies (1966)

In a small, remote village in Cornwall, a series of deaths from a strange disease has baffled local doctor Peter Thompson (Brook Williams). He requests assistance from his mentor, Sir James Forbes (Andre Morell), who is accompanied on his journey by his daughter Sylvia (Diane Clare).

When exhuming the plague victims graves reveals a lack of bodies, the doctors are stumped even further. Adding further complication is the tragic and mysterious death of Peter’s wife, Alice (Jacqueline Pearce). Soon, it becomes clear that the local Squire Hamilton (John Carson) – and his band of hedonistic goons – are mixed up in proceedings; with a mixture of voodoo and black magic…

Fans of the Walking Dead, or other modern zombie movies, may find this Hammer production somewhat tame by today’s standards, but there’s a lot to enjoy. The Plague of the Zombies takes a more traditional path with its tale rooted in voodoo, with a clever script that veers away from the usual Gothic creatures employed by Hammer.

Neither Lee or Cushing make an appearance, sadly – but the acting is particularly good never the less, with Andre Morell shining. The Plague of the Zombies is successful entertainment and shows Hammer trying to be innovative with it’s output.

8/10

The Crow (1994)

Our final film for this year’s Halloween Horror Fest is a 1990s classic that made a massive impression on me, when I first viewed it in the cinema.

In a city overrun with crime, musician Eric Draven (Brandon Lee) and his fiancée are ruthlessly murdered by a criminal gang. One year later, Eric is revived through the spirit magic of a crow, to enact revenge on the killers. One by one, the perpetrators meet brutal ends, but the complicated web of crime continuously unravels, leading Eric to the gangster overlord, Top Dollar (Michael Wincott).

The Crow is a magnificently macabre, dark tale – a violent, action-packed revenge story with gothic supernatural elements. It may not be pure horror, but this twisted superhero drama is definitely pure Halloween. Brandon Lee is the soul of the movie, he’s both prefect and unforgettable in the role of Eric. Sadly, his accidental death during filming adds a haunting tone to the film. Even so, The Crow is a fine testament to Lee.

Visually stunning on the screen, the soundtrack is also fantastic: one of the greatest soundtrack albums ever compiled, it’s a classic of it’s time.

The Crow still has an incredible emotional impact. It’s a simple, moralistic fable wrapped up in a bloody revenge movie – with a sympathetic anti-hero and melancholic tone. Absolute class.

R.I.P. Brandon Lee

10/10

A Halloween Horror Fest on Elm Street

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Now here’s a film that should need no introduction. Though to be honest, back in the 80s when A Nightmare on Elm Street – and it’s sequels – were hugely popular, I was never a fan. I’ve just never been really into “Slasher” movies – I was investigating the classic Gothic horror of Hammer and Universal at the time, and modern, contemporary films just didn’t grab me.

Never the less, I decided to give Wes Craven’s original another go, just in case I was missing something.

Brief recap: a bunch of kids on Elm Street suffer from terrifying dreams, featuring a crispy faced dude wearing a mask and possessing a gardening glove customised with lethal blades. Yes, it’s evil child murderer Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), and he intends not only to provide the kids with some unforgettable nightmares, he also wants to bloodily murderise them.

Revisiting this film was actually a lot of fun, I was surprised how well A Nightmare on Elm Street stood up. Yes, it’s incredibly dated, and ridden with clichés, but hey – these were new, original ideas back in the day. It’s not Gothic horror, but the supernatural elements are well plotted and help create the Krueger mythos.

Englund is great, though he’s more restrained in this first instalment. It’s always great to see John Saxon, who plays a cop here; and there’s an interesting debut from a fresh faced Johnny Depp, playing teenager Glen (who was probably about 40 at the time of filming).

Yes, I have been proven wrong – A Nightmare on Elm Street is actually a pretty damn good movie, with a mix of scares, peril and gore that shows Craven knows what he’s doing. Not the best film eve made, but I’m beginning to see how the cult of Freddy became so formidable. I’ll definitely check out the sequels.

8/10

The Indestructible Man (1956)

Convicted criminal “Butcher” Benton (Lon Chaney Jr.) is going to the electric chair, and he refuses to tell his bank robbing colleagues where the loot is. After being executed, Benton is brought back to life in an experiment. He then commences to seek revenge on his former partners, and the police are left to put the clues together and stop the gruesome murders.

A strange mix of the Frankenstein tale and 1950s cop show, this movie hardly feels like horror, but does have an impressive body count. Chaney has few lines – he’s mute for some reason, when resurrected – and we usually see his intense emotion only in wacky, extreme close up.

No points for originality here, but the film benefits from scenes representing the streets, bars and Burlesque clubs of old Los Angeles. As a period piece, The Indestructible Man is fun – it’s typical drive-in B-movie fare. Ironic that a couple of key scenes actually take place in a drive-in theatre!

6/10

The Halloween Horror Fest Don’t Die

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)

Wow – what a cast! Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Tilda Swinton, Danny Glover, Iggy Pop, Tom Waits – amongst many others – star in this comedy horror from director Jim Jarmusch.

The Dead Don’t Die tells the story of a zombie apocalypse in a small US town, as we see events unfold from the point of view of two cops on patrol (Murray and Driver). Natural phenomena begins to go awry, and following the murder of two workers in the local diner, events escalate quickly. Soon enough, the police (together with Swinton’s samurai funeral director) scramble to retain control as hordes of zombies take over.

Although there are some wonderful performances in this film – Murray and Driver’s brilliantly understated cops being the best – this film doesn’t really succeed as a comedy or a horror film. The zombie arrival is very slow, and the conclusion seems rushed. The comedy is rarely laugh out loud hilarious, it’s mostly dry humour and deadpan delivery, and there’s a lot to enjoy in the approach that the movie takes.

The Dead Don’t Die follows it’s own path, avoiding the much more in-you-face approach of Zombieland. The film is an enjoyable and worthwhile watch, but it doesn’t quite achieve its potential. It’s more of an Indie arthouse spoof of the genre, but whilst it has it’s own peculiar charms, I was expecting much more. Maybe I should know more about Jim Jarmusch. Who is he, anyway?

7/10

The Mummy (1959)

Frankenstein? Check. Dracula? Check. Next on the horror hitlist for Hammer was The Mummy, and boy does it look great in splendid colour. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee are, of course, on hand; as are Terence Fisher (director) and Jimmy Sangster (writer). You can’t go wrong.

It’s 1895, and an archaeological dig in Egypt finds the ancient tomb of of Princess Ananka. John Banning (Cushing) has a broken leg, and can’t enter the tomb, though it’s probably for the best. His dad Stephen does go in, despite the protestation of the Egyptian Mehemet Bey (George Pastell) and is driven mad by… something.

On returning home, Banning senior (Felix Aylmer) is in a nursing home, receiving care for the mentally disturbed. He becomes lucid enough to warn his son that he fears the mummy of Kharis, the high priest will destroy them all for entering the tomb.

Sure enough, the Mummy of Kharis (Lee) is awoken by Bey, and begins to take revenge for the disturbance. Will Banning be able to stop it’s rampage?

Predictably excellent work from Cushing here, as expected. And Lee is imposing as ever as Kharis, looking incredibly grim emerging from a swamp. The film does drag a little in the final third, but with the beautiful sets, a lush score and a decent story, The Mummy is unmissable for any Hammer fan.

8.5/10

Bucket of Halloween Horror Fest

The Gorgon (1964)

There have been several murders in the village of Vandorf in Central Europe, where the victims bodies are turned to stone. Following the death of his son Bruno, Professor Heitz (Michael Goodliffe) suspects all is not as it seems, and decides to investigate what the locals are hiding – and what they are so afraid of.

The Professor believes something hideous from ancient Greek mythology stalks the area, and seeks the help of Doctor Namaroff (Peter Cushing). Namaroff will not cooperate and the Professor meets his end when he sees the terrible face of Megeara, the Gorgon. Heitz manages to write a letter to his son Paul (Richard Pasco), before he is turned to stone.

Paul Heitz arrives in Vandorf to pick up the investigation, where he finds Namaroff similarly unhelpful. Carla, Namaroff’s assistant, played by Barbara Shelley, promises to assist Paul. But is there any truth to the myth of the Gorgon, and will there be time to solve the mystery before any more deaths occur?

I was sceptical at first, but The Gorgon successfully manages to transplant Greek myth to the more typical Gothic Hammer style. Christopher Lee turns up as Paul’s mentor, Professor Meister, in a great role – and Barbara Shelley is captivating in every scene. The film looks gorgeous, the lighting and shadows creating a stylish atmosphere – you’ll find it hard to look away, even when the Gorgon is on screen! A slightly different, but very fulfilling horror from Hammer.

8.5/10

Bloody Hammers – Album Review

Bloody Hammers – Songs of Unspeakable Terror

Napalm Records

Release date: 15/01/2021

Running time: 32 mins approx

Review by: Alun Jones

8.5/10

Outside, the nights are starting to get lighter and Spring is on its merry way.  The birds chirp merrily and warmth is returning to the land.  Which is completely inappropriate for a review of the new album by Bloody Hammers, “Songs of Unspeakable Terror”.  It should be Halloween instead: gloomy and dark with the bizarre and uncanny just outside your door.

Anders Manga (vocals, guitars, bass) and Devallia (keyboards/organ) are the Morticia and Gomez husband and wife team behind Bloody Hammers, a metal/rock/goth creation based in Transylvania County, North Carolina.  How’s that for an address?  Bet Glenn Danzig’s crying into his Count Chocula cereal. 

On this opus, Lily and Herman have left behind their previous established sound of Alice Cooper-style hard rock, crunchy metal and Sisters of Mercy atmos.  Entombed alive due to the pandemic, Bloody Hammers have exhumed the bloody corpse of horror punk, in a temporary tribute to the genre.

And it’s huge fun!  Fast and furious tracks like “Night to Dismember” and “Waking the Dead” rocket from the crypt like the hounds of hell are on their tail.  Huge “whoah-oh” Misfits choruses are of course present and correct.  Rousing and energetic, these songs are obvious but loving celebrations of influences that have only been hinted at on previous albums. 

There’s macabre melody on “We Are the Damned”, with a choir vocal effect to help power the camp horror feel.  “Hands of the Ripper” and “Not of This Earth” are slower, more metal sounding with a grinding riff.

Little of the occasional Andrew Eldritch explorations exist on “Songs of Unspeakable Terror”, though “Lucifers Light” unites guitar and keys into a moody Danzig like ballad.  A little more of this approach would still have fitted perfectly however.  I don’t know if Devallia can sing, but if she can this was a missed opportunity.   

The listener never feels too far removed from the original Bloody Hammers style, however.  Likewise this isn’t a simple, derivative rip-off of “Walk Among Us”, even though “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die” is a nice radioactive “Hatebreeders” mutation.  But whereas the Misfits took their inspiration from monochrome B-movies, Bloody Hammers have changed gears to a Kensington gore-drenched 60’s Technicolor horror fest. 

“Songs of Unspeakable Terror” is an album of pure enjoyment, which is just what we need right now.  With song titles taken directly from classic Hammer/Amicus movies, a warm rediscovery of horror punk style and some familiar Bloody Hammers rock, you can’t go wrong.  Go dig out your Halloween fancy dress, find your “Plan 9 From Outer Space” VHS cassette and get ready for a ghouls night in!   

Check out Bloody Hammers on Bandcamp, Facebook and Instagram.

This review was brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

The Best of 2020

Well, that was a mad old year, wasn’t it? 2020 was more like a bizarre disaster movie than the regular fun ride that we’re used to. A pandemic made hermits of us all; working from home became the new normal for many and travel and events ceased to exist. A year from hell for most of us, though it’s far from over yet.

Here at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, we’ve aimed to soldier on and bring you the very best in blogging entertainment. Be it music, skateboards, toys or tat, whatever nonsense I could investigate was delivered with all the expected wit and style.

As is customary at this time, let’s take a look back at the top ten most popular blog posts of last year. Calling it “The Best of 2020” seems somewhat incongruous, but let’s roll with it for traditions sake.

10. Haiku – Autumn

An encouraging response to my creative writing, I was very surprised to see that this poetry piece in the Japanese Haiku style was my tenth most-read post of the year. Encore?

9. Firebreather – Under a Blood Moon Album Review

There was a distinct lack of live music in 2020 (Obviously), but quite a few album reviews for my old pals at Ever Metal. This review of Swedish doom metal band Firebreather’s album was the most read at the Virtual Hot Tub.

8. Halloween Horror Fest 2020

The first of my annual horror movie reviews of 2020, this one featured the Hammer version of Dracula.

7. The Best of 2019

I’m not sure if last years top 10 blogs appearing here is a good thing or not? Either way, 2019’s round up of the most popular blogs was a winner.

6. STYLE: Safari Jacket

2020 saw the materialisation of the long-promised STYLE section at the Virtual Hot Tub. This first blog, concerning the wonderful Safari jacket, got us off to a great start.

5. Skate Art: Liane Plant/Death Skateboards

A feature about some of my favourite skate art, as created by the super talented Liane Plant for Death skateboards. Awesome stuff.

4. SK88: Old School Skateboard Playlist

More skateboard based action, with a playlist of songs from my skating youth in the late 80’s. Full of stone-cold classics, these songs still inspire my sessions today.

3. Death Star Playset

I love my vintage Death Star playset. Setting it up with original Star Wars figures for some blog photos was a lot of fun, it’s great to see it was popular!

2. 1980s Skateboard Style

More skateboarding, and another successful entry for the STYLE section! It’s me, dressed in old skate clothes from the late 80s that still fit (or did, before lockdown).

…And what will be the most popular, widely read blog of 2020? Drum roll, please:

  1. Kantouni Village Sausage and Tzatziki

Yes, the most popular was this food blog, which benefitted from a genuine traditional recipe, and an idea to recreate a Greek holiday vibe with ingredients from the local supermarket.

As travel wasn’t happening this year for most of us, perhaps it’s no surprise that the Greek recipe blog came out on top. It was written as an ode to holidays and Mediterranean sunshine, something that wasn’t a possibility for many last year. I hope you found some nostalgic comfort from this post.

Usually my annual Top 10 has featured a load of comic con events – or similar – at the top of the list. Those events didn’t happen this year, so the Top 10 has a very different flavour. Who knows what 2021 will bring us?

Whatever the strange pan-dimensional cross flux of crazy brings us next, I’d like to thank you all for reading my blog. Please remember to pop by Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub as soon as you can!