This has become something of a seasonal tradition at the Virtual Hot Tub: a celebration of the gaudy and tasteless at Christmas. Yes, this year I present to you more kitsch Christmas baubles, at a time of year when we’re surrounded by tat.
First up this year, a jar of peanut butter. Crunchy, of course – we have none of that smooth filth in this house.
PBSnail
Secondly, my daughter’s bauble from her own Christmas tree – a snail with a shiny finish. When she was about four years old, my daughter had a pet snail in the back yard that she called Slow Tim. So here’s Slow Tim’s festive brother.
I hope you enjoy these Christmas tree decorations, they certainly amused me!
May I wish you all, the valued readers of Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Thanks to you all for reading this blog, coming back time after time – I couldn’t do it without you.
Good evening, fiends! Welcome yet again to my abode, come inside and warm your bones by the fire. Take a seat, make yourself comfortable. Forget the howling wind and lashing rain outside. My faithful servant, Ygor, will bring you refreshment. And when you are ready, I’ll begin my tale…
Halloween Horror Fest 2023 is upon us – which means watching lots of spooky movies and sharing my mini reviews with you, lucky reader. As always, I intend to view a variety of films that are in the Halloween tradition. Whether old or new, frightful or fun – let’s indulge in a season of entertainment that’s truly fantastic!
Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors (1965)
A British horror classic, this film was made by Amicus Productions – not Hammer, as many would assume – though this rival picture features some familiar faces in it’s starry cast. Amicus are well remembered for their anthology movies, featuring several short stories within a framing narrative, a device that’s well utilised here.
Five strangers on a train journey meet Dr Schreck (Peter Cushing) – his name being German for “terror” – and his deck of tarot cards (his “House of Horrors”). Each passenger in turn has their future told by Schreck’s cards. There are tales of werewolves, vampires, voodoo and malevolent plants, as the passengers fates are revealed.
Some tales work better than others. The voodoo based segment, starring none other than Roy “Record Breakers” Castle and Kenny Lynch, is simple but effective with garish lighting and exotic jazz. You can’t go wrong with the legendary Christopher Lee, in his art critic/revenge from beyond the grave story, nor a young Donald Sutherland as a New England doctor with a vampire bride – even though the stories can seem too short, due to the portmanteau style.
I was less intrigued by the tale featuring Alan Freeman (yes, “Fluff” Freeman!) and his dangerously intelligent plant, so I guess even my ability to suspend disbelief can be pushed too far.
Despite the rushed nature of the stories, I consider Dr Terror’s House of Horrors a must see. The film looks great, boasts a formidable cast, and goes all out to entertain – even if it’s sometimes a bit creaky and dated. Worth watching for Cushing and Lee alone, there’s actually a lot more to enjoy in this Amicus thriller.
9/10
The Devil Commands (1941)
We’re going further back for our next spooky movie, where we’ll meet another horror legend, the one and only Boris Karloff! In this B&W B-movie, dear old Boris is less mad scientist, more frustrated professor led astray by the machinations of others.
Dr Blair (Karloff) is researching brain waves, when following the shock death of his beloved wife, he decides to use his research to speak to the dead. Under the conniving influence of a fraudulent medium, the doctor’s research becomes more dangerous and deadly…
I prefer my horror supernatural rather than sciencefictiony, but this is a neat, stylish little film. Despite a simple, perhaps obvious plot, the performance of the wonderful Karloff the Uncanny entices the viewer to keep watching, The Devil Commands is a great watch for those, like me. who like a bit of old school scary.
Regular visitors to the Virtual Hot Tub may well recall that in the Skateboards section, I’ve posted a couple of blogs looking at my very first skateboard. It’s an old, faded plastic relic from the 1970s which my Gran gave to me. That skateboard is incredibly important to me, as it was the board I first learned to ride on in my early teens – and thereby created a lifelong obsession.
Imagine my surprise when I was contacted out of the blue by someone I had never met, and had read my blog about my original skate. And they had one exactly the same for sale. The same “Albert” red plastic skateboard, only as good as new and completely unused.
Naturally, I jumped at the chance. I’m not a skate collector as such, but it was very affordable and a unique bit of history for myself. Soon enough, a cardboard box arrived marked “Made in West Germany”, and inside was a pristine and unridden version of my old skateboard.
You can see the photos here of Albert 2, in comparison to my old original. The plastic is bright red, the wheels are clear. It’s not the greatest skateboard of the era, nor an expensive collector’s item, but it is pretty cool to have in my possession.
I’ve still no idea how I managed to learn to ride on that tiny plastic skateboard, but thank God I did. I’m now 51 years old, and still love skateboarding. If it wasn’t for my Gran presenting me with good ol’ Albert 1, my life would have been much more dull.
Read more about My First Skateboard here and here.
Here we are at Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, with a new recipe for you hot tubbers to enjoy. It’s been a while since I last featured some food ideas, and I hope you can dig this morning treat as much as I do.
Originally concocted from leftovers, this recipe is now a favourite in its own right. It’s easy to make and tastes phenomenal!
Munch’n’Scrunch Brunch
Ingredients
Chorizo (thin slices)
Cherry tomatoes
Balsamic vinegar
Spray oil
Salt
Preheat oven to 180°C.
Take a baking tray, cover it in kitchen foil and place the tomatoes on the tray.
Spray the oil over the tomatoes. Then add balsamic vinegar and season with salt.
Place the tray of cherry tomatoes in the oven and cook for twenty minutes.
After 20 minutes, take the tomatoes out of the oven and stir. Add the slices of chorizo and scatter them amongst the tomatoes.
Return to the oven and cook for a further 8 to 10 minutes – or longer, depending on how crispy you want the chorizo.
Remove from the oven and serve.
This Mexican inspired meal makes a great breakfast, or even better as a brunch. If you can think of a better name, please let me know. Enjoy!
Gather ye round, Hot Tubbers! Tis time once again to dip our toes into the warm waters and enjoy another Singles Night.
What am I babbling about? Regular readers will know that Platinum Al likes to spend an evening playing through my collection of 7″ singles, both sides, one after the other. I have a large unplayed pile of 45 rpm records that need spinning, so sometimes I like to blitz through ’em, accompanied with a few drinks (or several).
Why? Because it makes a fun evening! You never know what’s crept in to the “play me” pile: old or new, good or bad. And when the night is over, these discs can be safely added to my collection.
Men Without Hats – “The Safety Dance” / “Security”
Third World – “Now That We’ve Found Love” / “Night Heat”
Bomb the Bass – “Beat Dis” / “Beat Dis (Dub)”
Phil Collins – “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)” / Mike Rutherford – “Making a Big Mistake”
Hale & Pace and the Stonkers – “The Stonk” / Victoria Wood – “The Smile Song”
Bob Geldof – “Love or Something” / “Out of Order”
The Whispers – “And the Beat Goes On” / “Can You Do The Boogie”
Queen – “It’s a Hard Life” / “Is This the World We Created…?”
Bob Marley & The Wailers – “Jamming” / “Punky Reggae Party”
Sweet – “The Six Teens” / “Burn On The Flame”
Belinda Carlisle – “La Luna” / “Whatever It Takes”
Baccara – “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie” / “Cara Mia”
The Stranglers – “Bear Cage” / “Sha Sha a Go Go”
Bucks Fizz – “One of Those Nights” / “Always Thinking of You”
Rod Stewart – “How Long” / “Jealous”
Ghost – “Kiss the Go-Goat” / “Mary On a Cross”
The Beach Boys – “Darlin'” / “Here Today”
ZZ Top – “Gimme All Your Lovin'” / “If I could Only Flag Her Down”
A mixed bag, as always – with a few left overs from my “100 singles for a fiver” car boot sale purchase. But this is what Singles Night is all about – you take the rough with the smooth, learn to appreciate stuff that you might’ve previously written off.
There are a couple of stinkers in that list, but surprisingly the Comic Relief single ” The Stonk” isn’t one of them. Daft it may be, but it features Brian May, Tony Iommi, Dave Gilmour, Cozy Powell and Roger Taylor in a Quo-esque rock boogie that I quite enjoyed.
I love the Boney M. single, as the B-side reminds me of being on holiday in Greece. “Safety Dance” is brilliant, Bomb The Bass is class, and I even enjoyed the Phil Collins song!
Obvious highlights in this set came from Queen, Bob Marley, Sweet, The Stranglers, Beach Boys and ZZ Top. Always wanted to hear that Bob Marley B-side, as he name checks several punk bands such as The Damned, The Jam and The Clash.
I was a surprisingly cool dad, thanks to the Ghost single (coloured vinyl, nice). Apparently the B-side is a social media craze, so my daughter was impressed!
Great tunes, fun times exploring music – that’s Singles Night. More soon!
BLEEAUURRRGH!!! It’s a jump scare to wake anyone out of hibernation, running for safety behind the sofa. What a way to start the year! APF records present “A Crash Course in Terror”, the debut album from TORSO. Formed from the smouldering corpse of Possessor by that band’s Graham Bywater (frontman/guitarist), TORSO skulk in a murky Grindhouse nightmare.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin. ‘Heads Start to Roll’ introduces the album with a John Carpenter-esque, menacing, keyboard-led theme which immediately unsettles the listener. Then the chainsaw guitars cut through, the song erupts, and the listener is dragged along by the scalp in a ferociously paced fairground ride from hell.
The retro, electro keyboard themes dotted throughout help to set this album apart in its own fuzzy VHS world. Spooky instrumentals like ‘Pranks’, ‘Depth Charge’ and ‘Death TV’ add a dread atmosphere, part prog and part video nasty soundtrack.
‘Sinking Spell’ is like The Melvins rocking out to a Texas Chainsaw Massacre back projection. The lo-fi, raw sound of the heavier numbers keeps everything within the TORSO world: ‘Precious Blood’ could be a punked up hybrid of Angel Witch and Electric Wizard. Finally, the epic ‘Circuit Breaker Breaker’ has a B-movie, doom metal fury that sounds as if the final survivor is running for their life from a vicious psycho killer.
My only complaint with this album is that at just 30 minutes, it’s a little short – I’d have loved another 5 minutes of mayhem. But at least “A Crash Course in Terror” is to the point. That’s much preferable to yet another 80 minute Metallica album – I haven’t finished listening to all the songs on their last record yet…
“A Crash Course in Terror” by TORSO. A fantastic, gruesome recording and a perfect start to the year. Can 2023 get any better?
“Empires of Ash” is the new album from Heron, and if you like the sludge, this is gonna be one for you. It’s the band’s third full length album, and you’ll know when you listen that there’s a whole mountain load of experience brewed up in this mighty concoction. Experience, plus what seems like a lifetime’s worth of melancholy and frustration given voice through huge, expansive slabs of atmospheric thunder.
Starting with ‘Rust and Rot’, Heron take us on a 9 minute plus odyssey encompassing thudding drums and menacing guitar. Vocals are guttural and brutal, the end result is a thrilling wade through a sludgey mire. Contrast this to the second track, ‘The Middle Distance’: a sombre yet beautiful (yes, you read that right) epic, which only erupts into molten fury after the three-minute mark. When the vocals come in, you’ll drop your pint.
‘Hauntology’ is another epic, and very aptly titled. Eerie yet calm and pensive, till again it builds to an enthralling outburst. ‘Hungry Ghosts’ is a more ruthless amalgamation of Conan with later period Danzig guitar flash. The final track, ‘With Dead Eyes’ has a melodic entrance, and once more decimates with a powerful vocal.
Whether it’s doom, sludge, post-rock or any other shade of metal, there’s a wide variety of styles and influences on this album. I was lulled into a relaxed haze before being startled awake with fiery exultations on several occasions. Heron have really gone all out with “Empires of Ash” to create a record that is unique and imaginative.
Ozzy had trouble with a heron. He’d just had a new pond built on his farm, and one bird kept gorging on Oz’s expensive ornamental Koi carp. One night, we decided to lay ambush and surprise the heron with a siren and a shot gun when it flew in at dawn for breakfast. Bill Ward fell asleep, so we floated him out on the water on an inflatable raft, as he snored under the moonlight. When the heron arrived, I sounded the siren, Oz fired his gun into the air and Bill woke up startled, then fell into the pond screaming “I can’t swim!”. Oh, we did laugh. The bird flew off, never to be seen again.
Confession time: I don’t actually like Power Metal. Widdly and flashy guitars; superfluous keyboards washing over everything; histrionic, high-pitched vocals – no thanks. I mean, I can dig Iron Maiden and Judas Priest – do they count? But otherwise, this particular metal sub-genre is not for me.
Vis Mystica are a Power Metal band. But they’re a Star Wars themed Power Metal band, and no one is more steeped in Star Wars lore than me. No one. You know the cantina scene in Episode IV? I can name all the aliens in that scene, what planet they’re from, and what they’re doing there. I’ve collected the action figures since 1978. I can beat anyone – anyone – at Original Trilogy Trivial Pursuit. Ask my other half, I’ve ruined a couple of dinner parties playing that game.
It’s not a huge claim to fame, but Star Wars fandom is all I have to offer in life.
So, let’s put my knowledge to use. To be fair, musically “Celestial Wisdom” is far better than I feared. The widdly guitars and pointless keyboards are present, but the music is fast and furious like a T-16 race in Beggar’s Canyon. The vocals are solid and not overly dramatic, not Gungan-level annoying at all. In fact, the first two tracks, ‘Whispering Winds of Fate’ and ‘Legacy of the Builders’ had me headbanging along like a Wookiee on a runaway Bantha.
Everything was going well till Track 4, ‘Lux Et Veritas’, when xylophone style plinky-plonk noises threatened to sink things faster than a proton torpedo in a two-metre-wide exhaust port. It all suddenly sounds like Christmas music. Thrashy, hyper-space speed guitars on ‘Beyond the Gates of Fury’ engage the nav-computer and manage to steer us back on course, thankfully.
Without a lyric sheet, it’s kind of hard to tell how much actual Star Wars nerd obscurities are present within these songs. There are no lightsaber or R2 unit samples to add context, so I found the theme lacking a bit. “Celestial Wisdom” is based around the Knights of the Old Republic comics/video games – alas, not my area of expertise – rather than the movies, so I may not have the wisdom I need to fully judge.
Whilst Power Metal may not be my usual cup of blue milk, I’ve got to give credit to the musicianship and imagination of Vis Mystica for this endeavour. The world needs more of this sort of thing. It’s far more fun than I thought it would be: genuine fans of the Power Metal genre will probably get a lot out of it. A bit more Star Wars next time, though, please lads? I can help with the reference material if you like.
What a fantastic, sunny summer day it was! Beautiful weather, ideal for a laid back community event at the local park. This year’s Hawarden Classic Car Show, again organised by Deeside Round Table, showcased numerous classic cars from different times and places. There was also a bar, barbecue, music, numerous stalls and rides for the kids.
I turned up primarily to see the motors, photos of some you can see here. But the event itself was a lot of fun, and benefitted from the glorious sunshine.
This year I arrived earlier, and managed to take a photo of the gold Trans Am that eluded me last year. BOOM! Although as I arrived, an amazing yellow Mercury Cougar was rolling away. Never mind – if you scroll to my very first Motors post on Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, you’ll see the very same car.
There were some favourite cars from last year making another appearance – like the Chevy Impala – and lots of new surprises.
A great mix of vehicles of various types, plus a relaxed afternoon – all good. I finished things off with a couple of ciders (don’t worry, I wasn’t driving). Here’s to more days like this in the future.
You can see last year’s Hawarden Classic Car Show blog here.
Brant Bjork must be a very busy boy at the moment. We’ve already had an album out earlier this year from his desert rock supergroup, Stoner, and now here’s a solo effort too. He’s a multi-talented, multi-instrumentalist singer song writer and no mistake, offering up sonic expeditions of varying styles and pace. Most of all, though, Brant seems to be a decent bloke who’d be ideal company for a beer or three.
For “Bougainvillea Suite”, we’re in a more laid back, but still rockin’ mode. The album is like a combination of Santana and Steppenwolf, full of relaxed but vital summer vibes. ‘Trip on the Wine’, our first song, has a similar stomp to The Door’s ‘Five to One’, but less angsty. The late 60s-early 70’s groove is maintained throughout, ‘So They Say’ embellished with a sweet, melodic construction and ‘Broke That Spell’ having an early Purple raunch.
Stoner band mate Ryan Gut adds percussion and keys, whilst the final member of that trio, Nick Oliveri, pops up on ‘Bread for Butter’. This track and ‘Ya Dig’ are two of the more direct, heads-down rockers, whilst the extended blues jam of ‘Who Do You Love’ is trippy territory augmented with some almost Stooges-like lead guitar. This last track is a real highlight, it’s like a long-forgotten experiment involving all of the bands I’ve mentioned!
And that’s it: eight songs that whilst not easy listening, can be mellow, psychedelic and still rock your bones. “Bougainvillea Suite” would make perfect summer evening listening, a beer and a BBQ as the clear sky fades to black, good times with good friends after a long day shredding a pool. But it’s been released in late Autumn, so what do I know? Just buy it and enjoy.
Platinum Al's Virtual Hot Tub 