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Torso – Brain Cells Album Review

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Torso – Brain Cells 

APF Records 

Release date: 13/09/2024 

Running time: 31 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9.5/10 

Friday night.  I’ve just been down to the local video shop, had a scan of the horror section, took my time deciding which film to rent.  If it’s good I’ll watch it at least three times before I bring it back tomorrow.  Go for the one with the craziest sounding name and the most gonzoid image on the cover.  Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I just want to know which offers the most brain destroying, off the wall, lurid descent into madness..  Pay up and leg it home, video tape in hand.  Urgently load the clunky VHS player and wait for the image on screen to stop crackling and reveal its gory beauty… 

‘Brain Cells’ by horror metal deviants Torso bursts forth with a frantic commotion.  This is album number two from ex-Possessor frontman/guitarist Graham Bywater in his new guise as the Dark Lord of Grindhouse Schlock Terror.  APF records haven’t so much released this album, as unlocked the gates, stood well back and unleashed it upon the world in a tidal wave of bloody fury. 

Starting with the intense thrash of ‘You Belong in Hell’, the lo-fi atmosphere is captured perfectly.  Not that the production is poor, but this whole album has the vibe of an ancient cassette that’s been used and re-used many times.  Probably starting with Huey Lewis, then taped over with some early Maiden, then repeatedly re-recorded on again until it features Carcass and Entombed.   

As before, songs are peppered with random movie samples (good luck tracking the sources down, I’m stumped already), though there’s noticeably less of the John Carpenter-inspired keyboard instrumentals this time around.  No matter, the drive-in B-movie atmosphere is ever present here – both ‘Savage Magic’ and ‘Brain Cells’, in particular, help see to that. 

Key highlights you won’t want to miss include ‘Deep Space Death Trap’ with its unforgiving, virulent chorus and raw, fuzzed up riffs; and ‘Hex Pest’, which roars along as if possessed by a filthy, NWOBHM-obsessed demon biker. 

“Brain Cells” is an underground garage-metal thrill ride from opening act to final curtain.  It’s glorious, murderous fun for all – you’ll want to rewind and go from the start again, as soon as it’s finished.  A nasty, blood splattered triumph for Torso and a Top Ten of 2024 album for me.   

Find out more about Torso on Bandcamp and their APF Records page.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Disneyland Paris

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August 2024 saw our family venture on a different kind of summer holiday – for us, at least – with a trip to Disneyland Paris. Both Mrs Platinum Al and Daughtertron are huge fans of all things Disney and theme parks as well. Myself, I like a bit of Disney – Jungle Book and a few others are great – though I can never forgive the Mouse for the vile dollop of vomit that were the Star Wars sequels.

Also, theme parks are not my thing. I find them boring. Roller-coasters may be fun when you’re riding them for a minute, but that enjoyment is hugely counteracted by waiting in a queue for three quarters of an hour. I just don’t get it. Alton Towers is my idea of hell. I’d much sooner go to Rhyl – there’s shops in Rhyl and you can buy vinyl, action figures, comic books – all manner of treasures.

And if I want to ride something really dangerous that can scare the life out of me, I’ll stick to my skateboard.

While my preferred break would have been chilling by the pool in Greece with a good book and a beer, I was prepared to rise to the challenge and try my best to enjoy this new experience.

And truth be told, it was a lot of fun. There was a lot of walking between rides and waiting to go on rides, but being in Disney is still exciting. The landscape is full of amazing delights and it’s very easy to get caught up in the childlike wonder of it all. Seeing that huge pink castle in real life is quite astounding. Disneyland is full of sights that make your eyes pop, as you recognise elements from your entire childhood realised in glorious, reach-out-and-touch-it-to-see-if-it’s-really-there, 3D realness.

For example: we witnessed the parade, where huge floats with Disney characters roll on by. The first float was the main Disney characters, Mickey and Minnie, Donald Duck, all those guys. Fun to see. But even I lost my cool and shouted aloud “It’s Woody and Buzz!” when the Toy Story display came by.

Some of the rides were good entertainment (despite the queueing). Big Thunder Mountain and the Indiana Jones roller coasters were thrilling, and I also liked the Phantom Manor for spooky haunted house chills. It’s a Small World is unmissable cheese, though very dated and surely on the cancel list. I liked it, even though Wales doesn’t exist according to Disney.

The Ratatouille ride wasn’t that great and not worth the wait. And there was some toy soldier parachute thing where you get flung into the air that was a bit boring. Nice view though.

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My absolute favourite thing to do though was the Star Wars ride, Star Tours. I’ve wanted to go on that ever since the American parks launched them in the late 80s. The ride is actually just a viewscreen showing a filmed adventure in the Star Wars galaxy, in a pretend space craft that rattles and shakes so it feels like you’re flying. Not the most sophisticated ride, but utterly engrossing and immersive for me. I could’ve stayed on it all day.

Plus: the Star Tours shops sold Droid Factory action figures! You could build your own R2 unit from different coloured parts to create a unique astro droid. I made two! I was ecstatic, this was a dream come true. Finally I was able to enjoy one of my favourite activities, buying action figures!

We stayed in Hotel Cheyenne, a Wild West themed area that was updated with a Woody from Toy Story vibe. It was a pretty cool looking environment, and our room was simple but clean and comfortable. I’ll also shout out that the staff at the hotel (and the whole resort) were exceptional. And the food (we booked a deal to cover us for breakfast and evening meal), whilst not super high quality, offered a buffet with a wide variety that was very welcome and enjoyable.

My only real complaints were the lack of costumed characters that I expected to see milling about. We only saw Captain Hook and Peter Pan hanging around for photos with guests. Plenty of Disney Princesses but they didn’t seem to stop and engage with anyone. I wanted to meet Chewbacca, damn it!

Oh, and there was a distinct lack of Jungle Book characters or action of any kind. I think King Louie was bunged on the Lion King float in the parade with Simba and those other losers. Not good enough.

On the whole though, the three of us had a memorable time. We did loads (no space here to list everything), had fun and it was a good adventure. There was a lot of walking though. And standing in queues. I did over 25,000 steps one day, my feet were killing me. So be warned.

Visiting Disneyland Paris was indeed a magical experience. But it’s a once in a lifetime experience for me. Next time, I’m going to Greece.

Berenice – EP Review

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Berenice – Berenice 

APF Records 

Release date: 16/08/2024 

Running time: 13 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

8.5/10 

Over the last couple of days, I’ve noticed I’ve had a cold coming on.  Sore throat starting, slight cough, feeling tired and achy.  This morning I did a Covid test – no, I didn’t know that was still a thing, either – and what do ya know, I’ve got the Vid.  Double bars on the tester, I’m in full Vid mode and suffering more by the minute.  What I need is medication.  Something to clear the fog from my head.  Luckily, I have this new EP by Berenice to help. 

This self-titled release from APF records is the debut from East Anglia based noise wizards Berenice.  It’s a wild, untamed, raw release that’s a brew of hardcore, crust, sludge and grind.  The five piece have delivered a five song EP to launch their musical manifesto and it’s every bit as uncompromising as you’d expect. 

First track ‘Problems’ unleashes a screaming, thrashing beast stampeding at 100mph.  ‘Reflection’ slows the tempo slightly, but rides on a chugging riff and guttural, screaming vocals.  The remaining tracks follow in a similarly brutal style, with only last song ‘Sorrow’ breaking the three-minute barrier. 

If melody and finesse are your thing, then Berenice might not be what you’re looking for.  Instead, if you want fast, loud, aggressive music infused with the rage of living in the modern world, the Doctor prescribes a regular dose of Berenice – to be taken as often as possible. 

This EP certainly picked me up! 

Check out Berenice on Facebook, Instagram, Bandcamp and at APF Records.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al in association with Ever Metal.

Singles Night at the Virtual Hot Tub #35

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For the first time of 2025, let’s indulge in another Singles Night. A night of spinning records, having a few drinks and enjoying the vibes.

The “singles” in the event title refers to vinyl singles: the 7 inch, 45 rpm discs that were once the pocket money swallowing masters of the weekly music chart. Now I have a massive stack of said singles, and on some nights I dig a load of ’em out, and play ’em. Both sides – A then B – and onto the next.

There are many wonders to be found amongst the hefty pile of 7″ records. And a few oddities. But the randomness and variety always an entertaining night.

Grab a drink and settle in with my latest playlist:

  1. Generation X – “King Rocker” / “Gimme Some Truth”
  2. David Bowie – “Modern Love” / “Modern Love (Live Version)”
  3. Motorhead/Girlschool – “Please Don’t Touch” / “Bomber” / “Emergency”
  4. The Alarm – “Presence of Love (Laugharne)” / “Knife Edge”
  5. Depeche Mode – “See You” / “Now, This Is Fun”
  6. Dana – “All Kinds of Everything” / “Channel Breeze”
  7. The Steve Gibbons Band – “Eddy Vortex” / “Little Suzie”
  8. Shirley Bassey – “So In Love” / “As Long As He Needs Me”
  9. Darts – “Don’t Let It Fade Away” / “Early In The Morning”
  10. Elvis Costello & The Attractions – “Oliver’s Army” / “My Funny Valentine”
  11. David Bowie – “Blue Jean” / “Dancing With The Big Boys”
  12. AC/DC – “Guns For Hire” / “Landslide”
  13. ABC – “The Look of Love” / “The Look of Love (Part 2)”
  14. The Jam – “Start” / “Liza Radley”
  15. Jimmy Cliff – “Reggae Night” / “Love Heights”
  16. The Sweet – “Little Willy” / “Man From Mecca”
  17. Propaganda – “Duel” / “Jewel”
  18. Patrick MacNee & Honor Blackman – “Kinky Boots” / “Let’s Keep It Friendly”
  19. A-Ha – “Hunting High and Low (Remix)” / “The Blue Sky (Demo Version)”
  20. The Creatures – “Miss The Girl” / “Hot Springs in The Snow”
  21. Queen – “Somebody To Love” / “White Man”
  22. Ike & Tina Turner – “Nutbush City Limits” / “Help Him”

Twenty two records this week, and a few strange ones are still creeping in – some are the remains of a bundle of singles I bought at a car boot sale for a fiver. I kept Dana in the collection due to the Eurovision connection, but Shirley is a superstar.

Punk and New Wave genres are nicely represented in this selection, with great songs from Generation X, The Jam and Elvis Costello. A-Ha, Depeche Mode and ABC bring in some pop classics, while good old rock’n’roll is delivered by AC/DC, Motorhead and Girlschool.

Two great 1980s Bowie discs made the playlist and there’s a favourite from Queen (though it’s one of my least favourite songs of theirs). Adding to the 70s vintage is a cheeky number from Sweet, which never fails to raise a smile!

Another successful night spinning vinyl. More to come soon.

Uncle Slam – Album Review

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Uncle Slam – Will Work for Food/When God Dies 

Dissonance/Cherry Red Records 

Release date: 26/07/2024 

Running time: 2 CD compilation 21 tracks 

Review by: Alun Jones 

7.5/10 

Wow, was I asleep or something there?  How did I manage to miss Uncle Slam back in the late 80s/early 90s heyday of crossover?  At that point in time, I was 100% in this bands target demographic: young skateboarder with a love of hardcore punk and thrash metal.  And yet Uncle Slam and I never crossed paths till now.  Thanks to Dissonance/Cherry Red records, we have this double album compilation of the bands second and third albums, and I can fill in some gaps. 

The obvious starting point here is Suicidal Tendencies.  It’s a lazy option to begin here, but the similarities in sound and style between Uncle Slam and ST are so abundant that we can’t ignore them.  Both bands are from the Venice, LA scene, with various members of Suicidal appearing within the ranks of Uncle Slam at one point or another.  Anyone (like me) just arriving to this mosh pit will be astounded how the Slam guys seem to have been largely forgotten. 

The first album, “Will Work For Food”, features a satisfying metal crunch along with the punk energy.  To be fair, the influence of ST, early COC and DRI mingle with the classic thrash of Testament and Nuclear Assault pretty seamlessly.  Fans of any of those bands will dive straight into ‘Left for Dead’ and ‘Roadkill’ right from the off.  The rest of disc 1 follows in a similar frenzy of crunching metal guitars and aggressive pace, and it’s all great fun.  The only oddity is a re-working of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Dazed and Confused’, barely recognisable as it’s been reimagined so drastically – but brilliant for it. 

Disc 2 presents us with Uncle Slam’s third and final album, ”When God Dies”, released in 1995.  By this time, dominant musical genres had fluctuated, and this record shows Uncle Slam developing their sound.  The title track opener thus delivers more chunky metal, but shoe-horns some funky breaks in the style of (Suicidal off-shoot) Infectious Grooves.  It’s a less thrash, more punk and alt rock influenced sound, but although something of a departure, it still works for the most part.  As a result, songs like ‘Procreation’ still rock, but ‘Summer in Space’ is just silly. 

For some, this collection will be too similar to good old Suicidal Tendencies to stand on its own merit.  I would disagree: there are plenty of other influences here, not just the main offenders.  And who cares, anyway?  This isn’t just a sound, it’s a whole vibe – Venice beach, Dogtown, punk rock and skateboarding on a never-ending summer vacation.  Uncle Slam deserve their moment in the spotlight, and I’m not gonna deprive them of it.  Neither should you. 

There’s some Uncle Slam on Spotify for you to check out.

This review is presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Orange Goblin – Album Review

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Orange Goblin – Science, Not Fiction 

Peaceville 

Release date: 19/07/2024 

Running time: 51 minutes approx 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9/10 

Pointless review of the month time!  But why, pray tell, is this review of the new Orange Goblin album “pointless”?  Because, old pal, literally everyone knows that Orange Goblin are a BIG THING.  And they haven’t released an album for seven years.  So this release, surely, will be near the top of everyone’s wish list for 2024.  Especially in the case of our esteemed Ever Metal readers, who as we all know, are a cut above the rest of the uncultured rabble out there. 

Without patronising our dear readership in anyway, a new release from these London doom/stoner/heavy metal scoundrels is, and should be, a BIG THING. 

Anyone who’s already a fan of Orange Goblin can expect more of what has come before, but it’s safe to say, “Science, Not Fiction” is amped up a little more than usual.  The same killer riffs, powerful delivery, ace musicianship, clever style variations are all in place as expected, but tweaked just a little higher.  Right from first listen, it’s obvious that quality control has been merciless on this recording, resulting in a collection of peak songcraft.    

‘The Fire at the Center of the Earth is Mine’ opens the engines in fine form.  After a cacophonous intro marked by belching bass, the riff kicks in and the ride begins.  A furious “death boogie” with a super catchy, uplifting chord structure for the chorus, this is prime Goblin. 

There’s no room for a breather, with second track ‘(Not) Rocket science’ bolting out next – a relentless hell ride that features a killer lead bass break (courtesy of new four stringer Harry Armstrong).  It’s probably my favourite song on the album: Ben Ward’s voice booming and Joe Hoare’s guitar threatening to jump the gate and roar off into the night on its own. 

An epic, mid-seventies Sabbath-doom vibe pervades ‘False Hope Diet’, with its bouncing groove and changes.  ‘Cemetary Rats’ starts with a gloomy, gothic vibe before exploding into something akin to old school thrash a la Testament.  Through all tracks, Chris Turner’s drums are dependably solid and thunderous. 

‘The Justice Knife’ is another fast rocker that benefits from some outer space wah-wah guitar, though generally speaking, the latter half of the album doesn’t quite have the heights of invention that earlier tracks possess.  The last song, ‘End of Transmission’, fields a suitably epic and raucous finale, however – soaring through sections with determined power. 

My only slight gripe with “Science, Not Fiction” is that the bonus track ‘Eye of the Minotaur’ appears to be CD only – which means vinyl fanatics like yours truly will miss out.  Nevermind, this album is a devastating power house of modern metal.  Orange Goblin have created a record that demonstrates all we love them for, and ladled on a good-sized helping of extra sauce to sweeten the deal.  One of THE albums of 2024, “Science, Not Fiction” will be guaranteed a place in my annual Top10.      

Check out Orange Goblin on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify and Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al in association with Ever Metal. 

Platinum Al’s Top 10 Rock & Metal Albums of 2024

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2024 was a fantastic year for new music. As previous, I was asked to compile my Top 10 of the year for Ever Metal, which wasn’t easy. That list has already been published on the EM website, but I’ve replicated it here for anyone who missed it…

Every year, it’s a struggle to whittle down tons of superb albums to just ten.  This year has been just as difficult (if not more so) and I’ve had to leave off a few great releases that just didn’t make the cut, for one reason or another.  I’m sure I’ll regret leaving a few of those off the final 2024 list, even if it’s just because they’re still very new I’ve not had chance to grow into them yet.   

Anyway, here’s the best of 2024 as it feels right now: 

10. Goat Major – Ritual 

Released in March, this debut from Welsh Occult Doom Metal band Goat Major announced a formidable new talent to the scene.  Building on their love of the classic bands that defined the genre, Goat Major add plenty of their own character to a magnificent album. 

9. Crobot – Obsidian 

Crobot’s latest release certainly has a darker, heavier atmosphere than previous albums, but the unmistakeable groovy riffs are well in place and ready to unleash the Hard Rock mayhem.   

8. Acid Mammoth – Supersonic Megafauna Collision 

Greek Doom-mongers Acid Mammoth delivered another heavy weight slab of fuzzy Stoner Metal, with a variety of moods and hefty groove.  Neolithic Rock with a touch of the ethereal. 

7. Duel – Breakfast with Death 

Amazing album title.  Fantastic cover artwork to compliment said title.  And guess what?  This latest release by Texan Stoner Metal gang Duel is even better than first impressions would suggest: Doomy Stoner Biker Rock from hell! 

6. The Obsessed – Gilded Sorrow 

Wino’s legendary Doom Metal crew returned in early 2024, to remind everyone how it should be done.  Infectious, groovy riffs, heavy as shittery songcraft and head spinning melody collide in a perfect meltdown. 

5. Orange Goblin – Science, Not Fiction 

The definitive Orange Goblin album?  Could be.  This latest OG album demonstrates all of their strengths, welding together the various sounds and genres they’ve mastered over the years.  Bursting with energy and invention. 

4. Torso – Brain Cells 

More exhilarating chainsaw Garage Metal from Torso, this lo-fi masterpiece arrived with all the subtlety of a brick to the forehead.  Less John Carpenter this time, but definitely slasher-splatter death-mosh a go go! 

3. Zombina and the Skeletones – The Call of Zombina 

They’re back!  One of the most wonderful live bands I’ve ever witnessed, Zombina and crew finally returned with a non-stop Horror Punk party, just in time for Halloween.  Long may they continue!   

2. Fu Manchu – The Return of Tomorrow 

The only downside of a new Fu album is waiting for it to be released!  Their first new album in six years was everything I hoped for, a double album split between a first half of fuzzy rockers and a second of slower tempo groovers. RAD! 

1 Sergeant Thunderhoof – The Ghost of Badon Hill 

The ‘Hoofs last album was number 1 in my 2022 Top Ten – and whaddya know, they’ve done it again!  Slightly less bombastic then their previous, but even more engrossing, “The Ghost of Badon Hill” is a mature and thrilling record to get lost in. 

So that’s ten.  Honourable mentions go out to Melvins, Lucifer, Black Tusk, Alunah and Barbarian Hermit amongst many others.   

Here’s hoping 2025 can match this… 

Keep coming back to Ever Metal and Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for all the best rock and metal reviews!

Platinum Al’s Instagram Top 9 2024

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Continuing the January 2025 review of the previous year, let’s take a look at the Top 9 photos I posted on Instagram. This time last year I posted the 2023 version, so why not keep the tradition up?

It’s a simple process to get your most liked photos from Insta as a grid of nine images. This snapshot shows the most liked (top left) to least (bottom right) of the year’s best performers.

Here’s a breakdown of what the images were:

  1. Here’s me at Star Tours in Disneyland Paris, complete with X-Wing Pilot t-shirt.
  2. A Christmas porttrait.
  3. The Bad Brains album “Quickness” on vinyl.
  4. A bottle of Higson’s Bitter Ale.
  5. An album by the band Budgie, “Never Turn Your Back on a Friend”, on vinyl.
  6. Vinyl copy of the classic “Home Invasion” album by Ice-T.
  7. Last year’s 2023 Top 9!
  8. Pinball machines I found in a Whitby arcade.
  9. Ancient burial sites in Anglesey, North Wales.

That’s quite a diverse range of photos, and also fairly typical of what I post on Instagram: vinyl and beer.

Thanks for sharing these moments with me. If you like, you can follow me on Instagram: platinum_al.official.

The Best of 2024

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Happy New Year, loyal friends and followers of Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub! We’re now striding into 2025 with confidence and glee, but as is customary, our first post of the year is a round up of the previous year’s successes.

So here are the Top Ten most read posts from 2024 – the ones that grabbed your attention, and briefly lit up the internet with enthusiasm.

10. New Skateboard 2024 – Death Blinky 

The most read posts on this blog relate to skateboarding, you may be surprised to know. But they’re usually slow burners, attracting attention year after year, rather than big hitters. So it was nice to see this update about my latest skate set up make it into the Top 10 list. Nice photos may have helped.

9. Platinum Al’s Top 10 Rock & Metal Albums of 2023 

My pick of the best in Rock and Metal albums for 2023 was published by Ever Metal, and I then posted it on my blog, too. Nice to know that you guys must trust my judgement. The 2024 Top 10 will follow soon.

8. UK Subs – Gig Review

I went to quite a few amazing gigs in 2024, the UK Subs in Wrexham being one of them. This was a great gig and I finally got to see this classic band live.

7. Anti Racism Poem 

Anything my daughter Eloise contributes to my blog is always well received, and this school poem was no exception. A great piece of work and wonderful sentiment.

6. GBH – Gig Review 

Another legendary punk band live review in the 2024 Top 10! This concert by punk legends GBH was fantastic, good to see the review proved popular.

5. Liverpool Comic Con

Comic conventions always perform well on the blog, and this experience from May was no exception. I also paid a visit to Liverpool Comic Con in November too, but sadly the photos from that have evaporated and the blog is redundant.

4. Whitby Road Trip – On the Trail of Dracula 

In February 2024, we went on a family road trip to the beautiful seaside town of Whitby. It wasn’t just tourism travel though, we were on the trail of Count Dracula, himself. Our vampire hunt made it to number 7 on the list.

3. UK Subs – Jet Age Review

One of my Ever Metal album reviews proved a big success: this review of the 5 CD set of UK Subs albums from Cherry Red Records.

2. Comic Con Mania – Chester 

Another Comic Convention in the Top 10! Chester was good fun, and great to see it back after it first looked like it wouldn’t happen at all.

And so we reach the top of the pile, the cream of the crop! Drum roll, please, as I reveal the most popular blog post of 2024…

  1. Wales Comic Con 

Wales Comic Con made a return to Wrexham, and Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub was there for it. This event was a scaled down affair, and sadly turned out to be a bit of a fraud. The organisers still owe us money for celeb autographs we booked but never got – and it looks like we’ll never get that cash back.

Every cloud and all that, though: Wrexham’s Wales Comic Con is under new management and hopefully will regain the heights of previous years. Let’s see…

2024 was a reassuringly successful year for the Virtual Hot Tub. Fifty posts were published, reaching the highest number of views per year since 2018.

Thanks to all of my readers for helping create this magnificent achievement – I really appreciate everyone who reads, likes and shares this content. All the best to you and your families for 2025 – I hope the year ahead brings you health and happiness.

Stay tuned to Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub, folks – there’s no stopping us now!

Rock’n’Roll Drink Time: Jack Daniel’s

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That’s right, it’s not Cocktail Time at the Virtual Hot Tub this week. Instead, it’s just a straight forward tribute to an all time classic, the legendary Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey. It’s party time right now, so let’s keep this blog short and sweet to commemorate a true favourite.

You know the name, you recognise the brand style, I’m sure you’ve tried the drink. Jack Daniel’s is most commonly mixed with some kind of cola: Tad sang about it with Pepsi, my good buddy Lemmy drank his with Coke (I can verify this from first hand experience).

Also enjoyed straight, over ice or with any number of other mixers, Jack Daniel’s whiskey is a true classic and a must have for any liquor cabinet.

Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub urges you to drink responsibly.

Soundtrack: “Jack Pepsi” by Tad of any Motorhead track.