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Uncle Slam – Album Review

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Uncle Slam – Will Work for Food/When God Dies 

Dissonance/Cherry Red Records 

Release date: 26/07/2024 

Running time: 2 CD compilation 21 tracks 

Review by: Alun Jones 

7.5/10 

Wow, was I asleep or something there?  How did I manage to miss Uncle Slam back in the late 80s/early 90s heyday of crossover?  At that point in time, I was 100% in this bands target demographic: young skateboarder with a love of hardcore punk and thrash metal.  And yet Uncle Slam and I never crossed paths till now.  Thanks to Dissonance/Cherry Red records, we have this double album compilation of the bands second and third albums, and I can fill in some gaps. 

The obvious starting point here is Suicidal Tendencies.  It’s a lazy option to begin here, but the similarities in sound and style between Uncle Slam and ST are so abundant that we can’t ignore them.  Both bands are from the Venice, LA scene, with various members of Suicidal appearing within the ranks of Uncle Slam at one point or another.  Anyone (like me) just arriving to this mosh pit will be astounded how the Slam guys seem to have been largely forgotten. 

The first album, “Will Work For Food”, features a satisfying metal crunch along with the punk energy.  To be fair, the influence of ST, early COC and DRI mingle with the classic thrash of Testament and Nuclear Assault pretty seamlessly.  Fans of any of those bands will dive straight into ‘Left for Dead’ and ‘Roadkill’ right from the off.  The rest of disc 1 follows in a similar frenzy of crunching metal guitars and aggressive pace, and it’s all great fun.  The only oddity is a re-working of Led Zeppelin’s ‘Dazed and Confused’, barely recognisable as it’s been reimagined so drastically – but brilliant for it. 

Disc 2 presents us with Uncle Slam’s third and final album, ”When God Dies”, released in 1995.  By this time, dominant musical genres had fluctuated, and this record shows Uncle Slam developing their sound.  The title track opener thus delivers more chunky metal, but shoe-horns some funky breaks in the style of (Suicidal off-shoot) Infectious Grooves.  It’s a less thrash, more punk and alt rock influenced sound, but although something of a departure, it still works for the most part.  As a result, songs like ‘Procreation’ still rock, but ‘Summer in Space’ is just silly. 

For some, this collection will be too similar to good old Suicidal Tendencies to stand on its own merit.  I would disagree: there are plenty of other influences here, not just the main offenders.  And who cares, anyway?  This isn’t just a sound, it’s a whole vibe – Venice beach, Dogtown, punk rock and skateboarding on a never-ending summer vacation.  Uncle Slam deserve their moment in the spotlight, and I’m not gonna deprive them of it.  Neither should you. 

There’s some Uncle Slam on Spotify for you to check out.

This review is presented by Platinum Al and Ever Metal.

Orange Goblin – Album Review

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Orange Goblin – Science, Not Fiction 

Peaceville 

Release date: 19/07/2024 

Running time: 51 minutes approx 

Review by: Alun Jones 

9/10 

Pointless review of the month time!  But why, pray tell, is this review of the new Orange Goblin album “pointless”?  Because, old pal, literally everyone knows that Orange Goblin are a BIG THING.  And they haven’t released an album for seven years.  So this release, surely, will be near the top of everyone’s wish list for 2024.  Especially in the case of our esteemed Ever Metal readers, who as we all know, are a cut above the rest of the uncultured rabble out there. 

Without patronising our dear readership in anyway, a new release from these London doom/stoner/heavy metal scoundrels is, and should be, a BIG THING. 

Anyone who’s already a fan of Orange Goblin can expect more of what has come before, but it’s safe to say, “Science, Not Fiction” is amped up a little more than usual.  The same killer riffs, powerful delivery, ace musicianship, clever style variations are all in place as expected, but tweaked just a little higher.  Right from first listen, it’s obvious that quality control has been merciless on this recording, resulting in a collection of peak songcraft.    

‘The Fire at the Center of the Earth is Mine’ opens the engines in fine form.  After a cacophonous intro marked by belching bass, the riff kicks in and the ride begins.  A furious “death boogie” with a super catchy, uplifting chord structure for the chorus, this is prime Goblin. 

There’s no room for a breather, with second track ‘(Not) Rocket science’ bolting out next – a relentless hell ride that features a killer lead bass break (courtesy of new four stringer Harry Armstrong).  It’s probably my favourite song on the album: Ben Ward’s voice booming and Joe Hoare’s guitar threatening to jump the gate and roar off into the night on its own. 

An epic, mid-seventies Sabbath-doom vibe pervades ‘False Hope Diet’, with its bouncing groove and changes.  ‘Cemetary Rats’ starts with a gloomy, gothic vibe before exploding into something akin to old school thrash a la Testament.  Through all tracks, Chris Turner’s drums are dependably solid and thunderous. 

‘The Justice Knife’ is another fast rocker that benefits from some outer space wah-wah guitar, though generally speaking, the latter half of the album doesn’t quite have the heights of invention that earlier tracks possess.  The last song, ‘End of Transmission’, fields a suitably epic and raucous finale, however – soaring through sections with determined power. 

My only slight gripe with “Science, Not Fiction” is that the bonus track ‘Eye of the Minotaur’ appears to be CD only – which means vinyl fanatics like yours truly will miss out.  Nevermind, this album is a devastating power house of modern metal.  Orange Goblin have created a record that demonstrates all we love them for, and ladled on a good-sized helping of extra sauce to sweeten the deal.  One of THE albums of 2024, “Science, Not Fiction” will be guaranteed a place in my annual Top10.      

Check out Orange Goblin on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify and Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al in association with Ever Metal. 

Platinum Al’s Top 10 Rock & Metal Albums of 2024

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2024 was a fantastic year for new music. As previous, I was asked to compile my Top 10 of the year for Ever Metal, which wasn’t easy. That list has already been published on the EM website, but I’ve replicated it here for anyone who missed it…

Every year, it’s a struggle to whittle down tons of superb albums to just ten.  This year has been just as difficult (if not more so) and I’ve had to leave off a few great releases that just didn’t make the cut, for one reason or another.  I’m sure I’ll regret leaving a few of those off the final 2024 list, even if it’s just because they’re still very new I’ve not had chance to grow into them yet.   

Anyway, here’s the best of 2024 as it feels right now: 

10. Goat Major – Ritual 

Released in March, this debut from Welsh Occult Doom Metal band Goat Major announced a formidable new talent to the scene.  Building on their love of the classic bands that defined the genre, Goat Major add plenty of their own character to a magnificent album. 

9. Crobot – Obsidian 

Crobot’s latest release certainly has a darker, heavier atmosphere than previous albums, but the unmistakeable groovy riffs are well in place and ready to unleash the Hard Rock mayhem.   

8. Acid Mammoth – Supersonic Megafauna Collision 

Greek Doom-mongers Acid Mammoth delivered another heavy weight slab of fuzzy Stoner Metal, with a variety of moods and hefty groove.  Neolithic Rock with a touch of the ethereal. 

7. Duel – Breakfast with Death 

Amazing album title.  Fantastic cover artwork to compliment said title.  And guess what?  This latest release by Texan Stoner Metal gang Duel is even better than first impressions would suggest: Doomy Stoner Biker Rock from hell! 

6. The Obsessed – Gilded Sorrow 

Wino’s legendary Doom Metal crew returned in early 2024, to remind everyone how it should be done.  Infectious, groovy riffs, heavy as shittery songcraft and head spinning melody collide in a perfect meltdown. 

5. Orange Goblin – Science, Not Fiction 

The definitive Orange Goblin album?  Could be.  This latest OG album demonstrates all of their strengths, welding together the various sounds and genres they’ve mastered over the years.  Bursting with energy and invention. 

4. Torso – Brain Cells 

More exhilarating chainsaw Garage Metal from Torso, this lo-fi masterpiece arrived with all the subtlety of a brick to the forehead.  Less John Carpenter this time, but definitely slasher-splatter death-mosh a go go! 

3. Zombina and the Skeletones – The Call of Zombina 

They’re back!  One of the most wonderful live bands I’ve ever witnessed, Zombina and crew finally returned with a non-stop Horror Punk party, just in time for Halloween.  Long may they continue!   

2. Fu Manchu – The Return of Tomorrow 

The only downside of a new Fu album is waiting for it to be released!  Their first new album in six years was everything I hoped for, a double album split between a first half of fuzzy rockers and a second of slower tempo groovers. RAD! 

1 Sergeant Thunderhoof – The Ghost of Badon Hill 

The ‘Hoofs last album was number 1 in my 2022 Top Ten – and whaddya know, they’ve done it again!  Slightly less bombastic then their previous, but even more engrossing, “The Ghost of Badon Hill” is a mature and thrilling record to get lost in. 

So that’s ten.  Honourable mentions go out to Melvins, Lucifer, Black Tusk, Alunah and Barbarian Hermit amongst many others.   

Here’s hoping 2025 can match this… 

Keep coming back to Ever Metal and Platinum Al’s Virtual Hot Tub for all the best rock and metal reviews!

Nebula/Black Rainbows – Album Review

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Nebula/Black Rainbows – “In Search of the Cosmic Tale: Crossing the Galactic Portal” Split 

Heavy Psych Sounds 

Release date: 28/06/2024 

Running time: 32 minutes 

Review by: Alun Jones 

8.5/10 

What’s that old saying?  Oh yeah, “I get by with a little help from my friends”.  Now neither Nebula or Black Rainbows could possibly fail on their own, so together these cosmic psychonaut supertroopers should absolutely RULE.  These guys aren’t leaning on each other, they’re building each other up to stratospheric heights. 

“In Search of the Cosmic Tale: Crossing the Galactic Portal” is the longest title I’ve ever had to type (thank the gods for copy and paste).  It’s a six-track album split between those two bands, and released by one of the most on-the-money record companies around at the moment, Heavy Psych Sounds.  So the pedigree is off the charts. 

The first three tracks are from our old buddies, the psychedelic warriors, Nebula.  There are three brand new tracks here, of which ‘Acid Drop’ is the pinnacle – a chugging, unstoppable mammoth tune that’s fuzzier than a caveman’s armpits.  ‘Eye pf the Storm’ chills the mood out a bit with an infectious, spaced-out groove that fits perfectly.  Things get a bit weirder with ‘Ceaser XXXIV’, with a lolloping riff that wiggles into your mind. 

Black Rainbows present us with ‘The Secret’, which really shouldn’t be a secret to anyone: it’s a boisterous, Sabbath style good time and probably my favourite track here.  Ah, I shouldn’t pick – but there you go.  The galactic groove continues with ‘Thunder Lights on the Greatest Sky’, another joyous ode to fuzz.  ‘Dogs of War’ wraps things up nicely with a psych wander through the sky that gradually builds to exhilarating levels.   

At just over half an hour long, this mini album/EP or whatever simply isn’t long enough.  The quality of music is fantastic though, as well it should be.  No surprises there.  Both Nebula and Black Rainbows are awesome bands that you can trust to conjure up the goods.  This beauty’s available on several different versions of sexy vinyl too, so worth shelling out for.

Check out Nebula on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify and their own website here.

Check out Black Rainbows on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, Bandcamp and their own website here.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al in association with Ever Metal. 

Devil Moon Risen – Album Review

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Devil Moon Risen – Fissures of Men 

Self-released 

Release date: 06/06/2024 

Running time: 36 minutes approx 

Review by: Alun Jones  

7.5/10 

Ready for something a little different?  Something born from the familiar, but tantalisingly different?  Then step right this way, Platinum Al has a musical odyssey that will intrigue you.  We’re talking about the debut album from Devil Moon Risen, a trio out of Phoenix, Arizona, and it’s all kinds of unexpected. 

We’re starting in the realm of desert rock, but Devil Moon Risen have added some spice to their chimichanga with elements of punk, sludge and doom metal.  So, off we go with a thuddingly heavy, groovy chugger in ‘Bad Sketch of a Killer’ that twists into a creepy waltz and back again. 

Like Primus playing QOTSA songs on an album produced by the late great Steve Albini, the songs feature unpredictable, powerful bass and thrashing guitars.  It doesn’t always quite gel, ‘The Rim’ is more of a challenge to get into, but “Fissures of Men” is always surprising and brave.  

When everything falls into place though, the results are superb, as with the full-on rock-out distorted delight that is ‘Shaun Powell’.  Elsewhere, there’s more Frankenstein-like craziness such as ‘D.T.T.B.O.W.T.B.’, which launches like later era Danzig before offering some more laid-back grooves, then morphing to a black metal wail. 

“Fissures of Men” is a journey and then some: Devil Moon Risen have taken the obvious starting point and run off in a totally different direction (or three).  Whether it’s noise rock or some as yet uncharted genre of music, the album is sometimes demanding and always unpredictable.  If – or when – you’re ready, “Fissures of Men” could be just the education you need. 

Check out Devil Moon Risen on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Spotify and Bandcamp.

This review is brought to you by Platinum Al and Ever Metal. You’re welcome.

UK Subs – Gig Review

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UK Subs + The Crapsons

Saturday 16th November 2024

The Rockin’ Chair, Wrexham

UK Subs have been around for a while. Their roots go right back to the early days of British punk rock, incorporating dozens of albums and nearly as many band members. They’ve released an album for every letter of the alphabet, A to Z, and have played all over the world. And guess what? Despite being a fan for years, I’ve never seen them live. Time to correct that mistake, with the Subs appearing just up the road from me in Wrexham.

The Rockin’ Chair used to be known to me as Central Station, and I’ve seen a fair few bands there (such as The Damned, twice, if I recall). This was my first visit to the venue in it’s new guise, though happily not much had changed.

Our fearless support was Birkenhead based The Crapsons, who dealt a reliably fun and furious selection of fast punk rock numbers. Most songs are brief and to the point, played well and enthusiastically, with a healthy dollop of tongue in cheek humour. Highlights included ‘Fuck Off’ and its sequel, ‘Fuck Off Again’, but the whole set was energetic and enjoyable.

Yours truly popped off to the bar, where I spotted legendary UK Subs vocalist/visionary Charlie Harper, who was merrily hanging about chatting to fans. I returned after The Crapsons set, picked up a copy of the newly re-issued “Flood of Lies” album, and asked Charlie to sign it. This he gladly did, as well posing for a selfie. Seems like nothing is too much for this true gentleman of punk, Charlie happily agreed to requests with a pleasant “No worries!” What a lovely bloke.

Unfortunately my selfie was not lovely. I’m a total novice at such things, and made the classic mistake of taking the shot from a low angle. Thus, my rock’n’roll claim to fame features a smiling Charlie, but is ruined by me looking like a huge necked gorilla.

The crowd in The Rockin’ Chair had built considerably, and when the UK Subs took to the stage, there was a roar of approval. Straight away the band sent forth a barrage of songs from their vast back catalogue. Sadly, however, the sound for the frist half dozen songs was diabolical. Alvin Gibbs’ bass was phenomenal, rumbling and gliding along, but Steve Straughan’s guitars were totally lost. Thankfully this seemed to improve from ‘Down on the Farm’ onwards, with the sound coming to life.

No problems with the drums, played expertly by Stefan Häublein. And of course, Charlie was superb: a benign punk rock general leading his faithful troops over the top, on a charge into a rock’n’roll no man’s land where we could all party together. ‘Warhead’ was rousingly brilliant, everyone singing along. ‘Stranglehold’ (the first Subs song I ever heard, fact fans!) was still a blast of fresh air, all these years later.

Returning for an encore, I remember ‘CID’ and ‘You Don’t Belong’ received by an audience who really didn’t want it all to end. UK Subs persevered through sound problems with power and professionalism, giving the loyal fans an unforgettable night. Personally, I was stoked to finally hear these songs live and be part of a UK Subs audience. Fingers crossed I’ll get to do it again. Thanks to all for making this happen, it’s amazing to see classic bands of this stature in the local area.

The Cult – Gig Review

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The Cult + Jonathan Hultén

Friday 25th October 2024

02 Apollo Manchester

November 25 1991, Manchester G-MEX. That was the last (and first) time I saw The Cult perform live. They were my favourite band and being there to witness them in person was a hell of a thrill, I was barely 19 years old and I’d never been to a gig of that scale before. Years go by, and I’m finally going to see The Cult again, this time at the far more atmospheric Apollo, rather than the cavernous aircraft hanger of the old G-MEX.

Yes indeed, it had been a long time since I saw my old mates Billy and Ian up on a stage. A lot had happened during that time – for all of us – but the music was always there.

Our support act this evening, in a seemingly incongruous move, was Jonathan Hultén. Standing solo on stage, swathed in veils and enigmatic face paint, Hultén was not what many were expecting to open the show. His music was dark, ethereal folk, with acoustic guitar and haunting vocals. At first I was intrigued, as the music continued I became thoroughly engaged. Just a few days before Halloween, this Scandinavian folk horror and gothic bombast was entirely appropriate to open this event.

More surprises, even more pleasant, revealed themselves when The Cult took to the Apollo stage – accompanied by a sample of ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ from Apocalypse Now (a genius move in itself). Launching into an earth-shaking ‘In The Clouds’, followed by ‘Rise’, from the insanely underrated “Beyond Good and Evil” album, this was not what I was expecting at all. Both songs are later entries in the band’s cannon, and sit gloriously at the heavier end of their repertoire. I adore both tracks – this was going to be interesting.

“Electric” album cut ‘Wildflower’ was next. One of my favourite Cult songs, I could’ve left at that point and been satisfied. More hard hitting classics followed with the swagger of ‘Star’ and Charlie Jones’s thudding bass introducing ‘The Witch’. New track ‘Mirror’ slots in seamlessly, then we get another mighty song from “Beyond Good and Evil”, ‘War (The Process’). All well known songs to Cult freaks like me, but not obvious choices by any means.

Billed as “The Cult 8424” – a 40 year anniversary tour – I’d expected a Greatest Hits set, culled mainly from the bands mid 80’s days. Early non-album single ‘Resurrection Joe’ was therefore no surprise, otherwise, this set spanned eras and albums confidently. Next was an acoustic ‘Edie (Ciao Baby)’ – I’ve always preferred this song in stripped down form to the “Sonic Temple” production.

‘Sweet Soul Sister’ was my chance for a quick “comfort break” – I’ve never been a huge fan. Great riff, overblown chorus! Another surprise followed, with ‘Lucifer’ from the “Choice of Weapon” record. The huge, epic riff of this song has made it one of my favourites, so a real bonus to hear live. John Tempesta on drums really powered all these songs home flawlessly, with both groove and power.

The latter part of the set delivered all the big crowd pleasers; an anthemic ‘Firewoman’, a truly captivating ‘Rain’ (surely one of the greatest rock riffs of the era), the tribal beauty of ‘Spiritwalker’. Billy Duffy, playing to a home town crowd, performed guitar magic throughout: from gutsy, gritty riffs to mesmerising yet direct, never fancy melodies. Lightning bolt energy from Ian Astbury galvanised the audience, as he revelled in the role of shamanic leader. And with a final roar through ‘Love Removal Machine’, it’s over.

Except it isn’t! Of course not, we all know The Cult will be back for an encore. But what will it be? Any more surprises?

‘Brother Wolf, Sister Moon’ is a classic track from the wonderful “Love” album, but wasn’t a single and so a very welcome reward. Finally, of course, the legendary ‘She Sells Sanctuary’ rings out and unites the crowd in a euphoric shared moment – Astbury’s air raid siren vocals leading the throng. I swear that man doesn’t need a microphone.

My return visit to The Cult’s sonic temple took a few years longer than anticipated. It was great to see them on such fine form, revelling in the classics and confident in their position as genuine, treasured heroes. What really made the gig for me though, was the sheer joy of hearing a very generous helping of less obvious, but very beloved tracks that I wasn’t expecting. No ‘Lil’ Devil’, but the rest of the set made up for it. I’ll return sooner next time.

PS: we need “Beyond Good and Evil” re-releasing on vinyl, please lads!

Return of the Living Halloween Horror Fest

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Two horror reviews for you this time, friends! Read on, if you dare…

The Revenge of Frankenstein (1958)

The second instalment in a series of Frankenstein films produced by Hammer, The Revenge of Frankenstein followed hot on the heels of its predecessor. The Curse of Frankenstein had been released the previous year, and was such a hit that a sequel was demanded. Despite, of course, the fact that the evil Baron had been executed at the finale last time.

No matter, Baron Victor Frankenstein (Peter Cushing, of course) is saved from death with a fairly sneaky twist, and is soon practicing medicine in a far off town. Going by the name of Doctor Stein (no one’s gonna figure that out, right?), the doc sets up a successful practice for wealthy patients, whilst also looking after the poor at a hospital.

Joined by a younger doctor, Hans Kleve (Francis Matthews) – who learns Dr Stein’s true identity and wants to learn from him – Frankenstein is soon up to his old tricks. This time around, his creation (Michael Gwynn) at least looks normal, if only at first. It isn’t long before the inevitable happens and everything goes downhill, big time.

The production looks quality and performances are great, in particular Cushing who brilliantly darts between menace and a steely charm. Some gory surgery provides the bloody horror required and The Revenge of Frankenstein admirably fulfils its role as gruesome entertainment. We just know that another sequel will be along soon!

8/10

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

So this is the film that establishes the concept of zombies eating brains, yeah? OK. One thing is for sure, this comedy-horror is not a sequel to Romero’s brilliant Night of the Living Dead. The Return of The living Dead is a very different beast, though still in a cult league of its own as a horror punk classic.

At a medical supply warehouse, two employees accidentally release a load of toxic gas which reanimates a cadaver and causes all kinds of health and safety high jinks. The morgue over the road has a crematorium, which seems ideal for permanently destroying the undead evidence. Until the escaping gas contaminates the clouds above, and rainfall on the nearby cemetery causes the dead to rise…

Oh, did I mention the gang of punks in the cemetery, waiting for their friend to finish work at the medical supply place? No? Well they are, and you can guess the rest.

This mid eighties movie is not something I’d usually watch. In fact, the main reason I wanted to watch this film is because of the legendary soundtrack, which features a load of awesome horror related punk bands like The Cramps, The Damned and TSOL. A vinyl copy has been on my shopping list for a long time, but I wanted to see the film first so I didn’t feel like too much of a fraud.

The film is pretty good fun, though. It’s fairly dumb and only occasionally does the black humour raise a smile, but The Return of the Living Dead was certainly worth a watch. It’s over the top – unapologetically so – but that’s part of it’s success. Disengage brain and go for it. The soundtrack is bloody great, by the way. I’ve got it on clear with red blood splattered vinyl. AT LAST!!!

7.5/10

Twins of Halloween Horror Fest

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Twins of Evil (1971)

You can’t go wrong with some good old fashioned Hammer Horror! Here we have Twins of Evil, the third and final part of Hammer’s Karnstein Trilogy, based on Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. We’ve already viewed the preceding movies – The Vampire Lovers and Lust For A Vampire – during previous Halloween Horror Fests, so let’s finish off the series.

Mary and Madeleine Collinson play two identical twin sisters, who are sent to live with their uncle and aunt after they become orphaned. Uncle Gustav – played with menace by the one and only Peter Cushing – is a puritanical zealot, keen on burning local young women at the stake. Gusatv’s stern attitude alienates both sisters, but Frieda in particular is keen to break away. She falls in with local wicked aristocrat Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas), who has become a vampire through his dabbling in black magic.

Soon Frieda follows the Count’s descent into vampirism. Will the witch hunting Brotherhood be able to destroy this evil? Will anyone be able to tell good sister from bad?

Regular readers will know I’m a huge Hammer fan. Whilst Twins of Evil is, for me, the weakest of the Karnstein Trilogy, it’s still great. The witch hunting angle lends a new and particularly horrific edge here (sad to see Judy Matheson exit so quickly) and Cushing is formidable in this role. Vampires, sorcery and some cheeky decolletage tick all the necessary boxes, and despite a rushed (but gruesome) ending, this is another Hammer triumph.

8/10

Halloween Horror Fest: Blood and Honey

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Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Yes, I couldn’t resist! Lured in by the novelty value of a Winnie the Pooh themed horror movie, I decided to give this bizarre mutation a viewing. The rights for Pooh Bear and his friends form the Hundred Acre Wood entered into the public domain in the USA recently, and these enterprising (or “deranged”) film-making fiends decided to revamp things a bit. Quite a bit, actually.

Having been abandoned by Christopher Robin when he grows up and leaves the wood, the remaining cuddly chums degenerate into psychopathic killers. The now adult Christopher Robin, with his fiancée, returns to the site of his youthful adventures and soon comes a cropper when he encounters the now feral Pooh and Piglet.

Things get worse when a group of female students, whilst renting a holiday cabin in the woods, also meet the murderous Pooh and Piglet – and the inevitable carnage ensues.

And that’s all you need to know, if you needed to know anything at all. One by one the characters are slaughtered as per the expected slasher movie routine – with plenty of gore, screaming and running about. To be fair, there are a few plot twists and some novel killing methods, and the lighting and colours look great on screen.

But the obvious fact that Pooh and Piglet are just blokes in masks makes the film look like a cheap Texas Chainsaw Massacre knock off. Despite an original and crazy concept, we’ve seen it all before. One to watch purely for the novelty value, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey comes to a sticky end.

5/10